


New Me

by Gemmie_Bear



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Female Stiles Stilinski, Period talk, Pregnancy, Scott is a Good Friend, Slow Burn, Smut, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-01 21:24:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 64,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15782409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemmie_Bear/pseuds/Gemmie_Bear
Summary: Scott wasn't the only one who encountered change in the Preserve that night...While he has come leaps and bounds from the broken boy he was before The Bite, Stiles is still suffering and trying to understand what the hell happened, and how the hell to fix it.





	1. Chapter 1

Stiles had never thought that life could change so drastically, and had he not dragged Scott out to the damned preserve, hell knows where any of them would be now. But, this was life now. Looking around, taking in the latest additions to the small bedroom, Stiles felt a sense of sadness that was persistent and throbbing, demanding to be acknowledged and felt and shit this was all hard. It had been a rough 4 years since the night that put Scott and Stiles on this specific path, and nothing, LITERALLY nothing had remained the same.

She threw herself back on the bed, her body bouncing slightly, and groaned, her hands once again making their way to her lower abdomen. So, she wasn’t sure if all periods were this bad, this freaking sore, for everyone, or if her body was simply making up for lost time, but goddammit this was awful.                

_‘Looking around, Stiles made his way through the preserve, keeping an ear out for Scott. He knew he had to be somewhere; the kid stumbled and wheezed when he walked, surely Stiles should have heard him by now? His thoughts were broken by a loud, piercing howl, followed by a scream._

_“SCOTT!” Stiles ran towards the sound, the screams drawing further and further away, until suddenly, Stiles heard nothing. His own pants sounded muted, no wind or movement could be heard in the preserve around him. He felt the hairs on his neck stand on end, and gulped, squeezing his eyes shut. He knew he was being watched. He turned, slowly, opening his eyes and scanning the dark woods, squinting as he tried to make out anything in the dark. He tracked over the darkness, before he noticed a movement in his peripheral vision, his eyes snapping towards-‘_

“Stiles?”

She opened her eyes, her heart beating like a drum, the sound filling her ears before she took a deep breath to calm herself. “Yes dad?”

He opened the door a crack, and upon hearing no arguments, he entered. “Just checking you are ok kiddo.”

She nodded, sitting up and shifting to the edge of the bed, joined by her dad. She took in his aged face. The last 4 years had been rough on everyone. “Yeah, of course. Why?”

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she stifled a sigh.

“You haven’t left your room in about a week.”

Yep, there it was.

“Um, yeah. Decided to just resort to being a hermit.” She tried to joke, but it sounded flat.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” She heard the slight cringe to his voice, and she smiled. He had tried so hard after she had come home that fateful night with Scott, and she could see it almost every day. He poked her in the ribs gently and she laughed.

“No, I’m fine. Period and stuff.”

She shied away from the subject a hell of a lot more than he did; she wasn't entirely sure how to react about it, but he kind of just went with it, somehow. Stiles had wanted to die from humiliation when Allison and Lydia had to sit her down and explain certain facts of life to her, because apparently when she was a boy, she was an idiot. Even she couldn’t argue with that.

Her dad huffed, and shook his head.

“What?” She poked him back, wanting to know what he was thinking.

He looked at her, meeting her eye as a small smile budded on his face, before it grew and spread. “I know it’s that time of the month kiddo. You realise I am the sheriff?” She watched as he reached into his jacket, before pulling his hand out, and with it, a box of chocolates. The good kind.

“Oh dad!” She threw her hand around his neck and hugged him, the angle awkward but she didn’t care. Damn hormones, what the hell? She sniffled as she tried to subtly dry her eyes but was distracted by her father’s barely concealed laughter. “Hey, don’t poke the bear!” She pulled back and tried to look fiercely at him, failing with her eyes still watery and her voice thick with unshed tears.  

He passed her the box, watching as she ripped it open and shoved a pretty little hazelnut praline into her mouth, moaning. “Your mom was exactly the same.” He spoke quietly, and it surprised her. She opened her eyes to see his own looking a little watery.

“I’m sorry dad.”

He shook his head and grabbed her hand, “never be sorry for reminding me of her. I loved her, hell, I still do.”

“Yeah, but if I hadn’t gone out-“

He stopped her with a single look. “We aren’t doing this again, it was years ago. Let go of it.” His thumb drew circles on the back of her hand and she nodded, trying to dislodge the tears that had made an appearance in her eyes. “Ok, I’m off to the station. Call me if you need anything.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead, before he stood and walked out the room. She sat in silence, slowly eating her way through the box of culinary delights. She snorted when she thought of how her taste in chocolate, of all things, had improved when she had become a girl, woman? Whatever she was. Probably a woman, she _was_ on her period. She shoved one more piece of chocolate in her mouth, stashing the rest in her bedside drawer for later, and decided maybe her dad was right. A week in her room was a long time, and she wished she could say it was a one-time occurrence, but it had become very normal for her to shut herself in.

Walking into the bathroom, she shed her clothes as she warmed up the shower, stepping in when it was the right temperature of boiling hot, and began washing the insecurities of the past week away.

 

She pulled into the McCall driveway, and laughed as she saw the lace curtains twitch before Scott opened the door suddenly, a giant smile on his face.

“Were you seriously waiting by the window for me?” She laughed as she got out the Jeep, and was pulled into a bone crushing hug.

“If I say yes, are you gonna make a dog joke?”

She tried laughing again, but could only groan at the strength of the hug, pushing the air from her lungs and decided to shake her head.

“Great, then yes I was.” He said as he released her, his eyes shining with glee as she drew in a large, shaky breath and clutched her ribs.

“Dude, almost broke me.” She managed to croak out, and he laughed again, placing a hand over her shoulders as he led her inside.

“Hi Stiles!”

Stiles looked over to where Allison was reclining, her hair a mess, a beautiful smile on her equally beautiful face, with her hands on her swollen belly.

“Good god Alli, I swear it’s a good job you are on strict bedrest, because you would be stoned by all the other pregnant women who look like trolls.”

Allison smiled, and patted the couch next to her, “love, will you please get us some tea?” Scott smiled and nodded, leaning down to kiss her before he disappeared into the kitchen. Stiles sat next to Allison, who grabbed her hand. “I’m so glad you came over, I feel like its been so long since I saw you!”

Stiles smiled, and sheepishly said “started my period again. Sorry.”

Allison just laughed, and squeezed Stiles’ hand. “You stress too much, you realise people have been having periods for quite a while now, right?”

She nodded, “sure, but were any of those people once boys?” She nodded again when Allison shrugged, “exactly. It’s still not exactly ideal territory.”

Scott come in then, carrying 3 cups of tea in one hand, probably just to show off. “Here Alli,” he passed her a cup and she smiled up sweetly at him, and a small part of Stiles was so intensely envious it shocked her. She thanked Scott as he sat on the other couch, and took a sip.

“So, once these little guys come, I expect you to come visit as often as you can, ok?”

Stiles looked over to Allison, and smiled at the way she balanced the cup on her belly. “Of course, why wouldn’t I wanna come over and be all weirded out by all the stuff that I now can apparently do?” She winked at Alli who just laughed.

“Just for that, you get to change all the poopy diapers."

Stiles fake gagged and Scott laughed, “well at least that gets me off the hook!” Stiles threw him a shocked look, and he shrugged, “hey, better you than me, dude!”

Stiles laughed, joined by both other. “Have you finished the nursery?”

Scott practically bounced on the couch, and Allison sighed, “go on, leave me here, all alone, heavily pregnant and totally immobile.” She had barely started talking when Scott all but threw Stiles over his shoulder and raced up the stairs, dropping her to her feet on the landing in front of the nursery.

She looked at Scott who smiled and nodded to the door, so she turned, and read the names on the door. “Nathan and Nicholas. Their names are perfect.” She saw Scott nodding in agreement, a wistful smile on his face, and she opened the door. She took in the gorgeous grey walls, matching dark wood cribs, joined by the changing table in the centre. There was a rocking chair close to the left crib, which had massive, padded arms, probably for resting your arms on while holding a baby in each, but Stiles wouldn’t ask. There were teal accents around the room; the crib bumpers, the changing mat, the rocking chair padding.  It was beautiful.

She turned to look at Scott, who was looking into one of the cribs, gently touching the bumper. “Scotty?” He turned towards her. “You ok?”

He looked back into the crib and nodded, “yeah, it’s just kind of overwhelming, I guess?”

She nodded as she sidled up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist while he threw an arm over her shoulders. “You’ll be a great dad.” She whispered after several moments of silence, both staring into the crib.

“How do you know? My dad-“

“Was fucking awful.” He snorted, and she felt him nod. “You won’t be him, you aren’t him. If you didn’t have his chin and eyes, I’d say your mom had an affair because you and he are so different. You’ll be an amazing dad.” He pulled away to look at her, a small smile on his lips. “What?”

He shrugged, “sometimes I think this is actually pretty great.”

“What is?”

He motioned to her body, “you. Like you are now.”

Stiles swallowed, her eyes darting to the other side of the room. It hadn’t been the first time someone had said she was better as a woman, which made her wonder what was so different. Wasn’t she still the same person? What had changed, aside from the physical attributes? She was vaguely aware of Allison calling for Scott, and he squeezed her shoulder before he slipped from the room. She moved to the rocking chair, and sat down slowly, feeling the soft teal fabric, testing the padding with her forearms. She pushed at the floor slightly, relaxing in the gentle sway of the chair, and revisited her thoughts from this morning.

_‘The shadow moved towards him, and somehow, rather than becoming visible as they stepped from the darkness, it was as if they shed the darkness, swiftly, and became fully visible without leaving the shadows._

_“Why are you here?”_

_Stiles looked to the cloaked figure, and he fought the urge to run or vomit. “What?”_

_He watched as the figure flicked the hood down, revealing the pale face of a beautiful woman, who continued to walk towards Stiles, stopping a couple feet from him. “Why are you here, Stiles?”_

_He gaped at her, “how do you know my name?”_

_He flinched as she reached out and caressed his cheek, but he was unable to move._

_“I know of many things, child. I am older than the mountains and wiser than the world.”_

_“Aren’t mountains part of the world?”_

_She looked at him, unimpressed. “I’ll tell you what, Stiles, my sweet, perhaps you come home with me. Someone as tenacious as you, it's like breaking in a colt; difficult, but rewarding.” She caressed down his cheek again, “let me teach you of the wonders I have learnt from a life as long as I have lived,“ her finger trailed down his neck, eliciting a shudder from him. “Perhaps I’ll even teach you more than once,” her fingers now slid down his side, “then I’ll let you take the reigns and you can prove to me what you have learnt.” Her fingers were now edging just below the waistband of his jeans, and she stopped, scrutinising his face. She seemed to know this wasn’t having the desired effect on him. Her eyes shone white for a moment, before she screeched in his face, his legs failing as he collapsed to the floor, unconscious.’_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realise I forgot to explain a little about this fic.  
> It kind of follows the same storyline as the original, but everything happens a hell of a lot quicker, with season 6 ending when they are all 17, so obviously they were all still in high school.  
> Derek only left for Mexico then, not during S3, so he has been gone for 3 years.
> 
> If you have any questions, I will happily answer them!
> 
> Enjoy!

She spent the rest of the weekend catching up with Scott and Allison, even Lydia when she came to visit.

“When are you going to be less of a weirdo, Stiles?”

“Um, firstly, thanks? I guess?” Stiles looked at Lydia incredulously, unable to imagine why this conversation is even happening right now.

“Don’t even go there, Stilinski. Alli told me you locked yourself away again, only to re-emerge like a bear from hibernation.”

“Huh?”

“All I’m saying is, it’s weird.”

“Whoa, ok time out. You think me needing to keep to myself is weird? Considering I now have a,” she looked around the coffee shop before continuing in a whisper “ _vagina?”_

“A vagina.”

Stiles’ eyes grew wide as she flung her hands out to hush Lydia, “jesus say it louder for the people in the back, Lyds!” She all but snarled.

“VAGINA.”

Stiles’ hands fell to the table with a bang, her jaw slack, as Lydia kept one perfect eyebrow arched as if to say, ‘please, carry on. I can do this all day.’ When Stiles’ catatonic state seemed to stick, Lydia continued. “You have a vagina, there is nothing to be ashamed of in that. You also have a period, which may I remind you, started when you were 16.”

“How-“

Lydia continued as if Stiles hadn’t spoken, “you have to stop this. You cannot lock yourself away from civilisation for a week every month, because of something as simple as bleeding from your vagina.”

“Simple as, what? It’s not simple!”

Lydia nodded, “yes, I am well versed in the fact that periods, biologically, are not simple, but when you are on a period, it is simple. Get out more.”

Stiles dropped her head to the table, groaning and mumbling words like ‘vagina’, ‘abnormal’ and ‘bleeding’ in no particular order.

Lydia carded through the hair falling over Stiles’ shoulder, “Stiles, we tried. _You_ tried. We can’t fix this, at least not yet.”

Stiles remained silent for several minutes, enjoying the feeling of Lydia playing with her hair, until she sat quickly, almost pleased in the surprised expression on Lydia’s face. “I have never, you know when you said to try, I didn’t.”

Lydia arched that eyebrow again, and Stiles immediately wished for the ground to swallow her whole.

“I need more than that, Stiles.”

She nodded, swallowing loudly. She regretted this so much. “Um, my, uh, period? I use, you know, _pads_.”

Lydia’s eyebrow didn’t move. Stiles was still wishing for a swift death.

“Lydia,” she began, whispering as she scooted closer to Lydia, “I use _pads_ and I hate how it feels and I can’t-“

“Use tampons. Better yet, use a cup.”

“A cup? And what, sit over it?”

Lydia sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes so hard Stiles was impressed when they returned to their normal position, grabbed her bag and placed some cash on the table before she left, leaving Stiles scrambling after her.

“What are we doing?”

“We, Stiles,” Lydia linked arms with Stiles, “are going shopping.”

“Ah no,” she groaned, stomping slightly. “I stopped wearing plaid, now what’s wrong with me?”

“You use pads, and you aren’t happy with that. So, I am educating you, again, need I add, about periods and choices.”

Stiles said nothing, and let Lydia lead her to her car, driving them to the mall. She let herself be led to the feminine section of the shop Lydia dragged her into and began weighing the pro’s and cons of tampons and cups, which apparently is a silicone cup, not an actual cup. Colour Stiles surprised, being a girl still comes with a lot more information that she thought possible.

“Lydia how do you know all of this?”

Lydia regarded her for a moment, “what do you mean?”

“Well, how do you know so much about tampons and crap, I’ve been a woman for 4 years-“

“And every month, you lock yourself away like a social pariah, and never once asked for help. I know all of this because girls talk, we compare things, we discuss thigs.”

“Like tampons?”

She nodded her perfectly styled head and grabbed a box of tampons and a mooncup, marching to the checkout point and paying for them before Stiles could even comprehend what was happening.

“Hey, wait wait, why are you buying them?”

“Consider it a gift, now come, let’s go see Alli.”

 

Any excitement Stiles had about seeing the always-sweet Allison soon dissolved when Lydia loudly proclaimed that Stiles had never tried to control her period which was the reason she locked herself away. Two things happened simultaneously, Scott tried his best to look supportive while backing out of the room, and Stiles tried to exit the house via a window, thwarted only when Lydia closed the window around her waist, leaving her stuck with only her ass in the room.

“Oh my god Lydia let go of the window!”

“Not until you agree to come sit down and talk to us.”

“But I have the, the stuff!”

“Yes, and now we talk about it.”

“Come Stiles, Lydia is right. If I’d known this was why we never saw you, I’d have helped out years ago!”

Stiles’ anger ebbed away at Allison’s words, and Lydia noted the lack of fight in Stiles’ bottom half and let go of the window, letting Stiles shimmy back in and sit cautiously on the couch. All 3 women look out the window when they heard a car start, and giggled when they saw Scott trying to make a stealthy get away.

“He doesn’t mean anything by that Stiles, he is very understanding of my period. Of course, when I _had_ a period.” Stiles looked up to see Allison dreamily rubbing her belly, and she knew Allison was right. Scott had never been grossed out in school, learning about all this stuff.

“So why now?”

Lydia spoke up, “it probably has something to do with the fact that you were once his best guy friend. Now you are his best girl friend. It’s probably just as weird for him as it was, is, for you.”

“Are we really going to talk about tampons?”

Lydia nodded, “yep. And when you leave this room, you will be so immune to the word ‘vagina’ that you won’t hesitate to say it.”

Stiles grimaced and nodded slowly. “Fine. Only if I get ice cream.”

Allison laughed as she pulled out her phone, dialling Scott and asking him to bring ice cream for them.

It didn’t take him too long before he came back to the house, eyes wide, a look of poorly hidden horror on his features.

“Thanks love, and stop worrying. You don’t have to listen.” He looked at Alli as she spoke, and fiddled with his hands.

“I’m gonna go out then, I’ll bring back dinner?”

She nodded and he took the moment to sprint from the room, leaving Stiles feeling like he was leaving her to the lions. She took a massive spoonful of ice cream and settled in for another chat she wished she never needed to have.

 

Hours later, when Stiles felt like she had heard WAY too much about periods, why a mooncup was better overall, and how to get the right size bra, she did feel like a weight had been taken off her shoulders. She was still apprehensive, as she had been told to call Alli or Lyds when she starts again next month so she could be talked through using the mooncup for the first time. Absolutely terrifying.

“I’m home!”

The ladies all hummed appreciatively when they saw the bags of Chinese food, one of the only take outs Alli could still stomach.

“You will never guess who I ran into.”

Stiles was about to ask why he had been running in the first place, when she saw someone step out from behind Scott.

Derek.

Wow.

She shut her mouth, her teeth clashing together.

“Hi.” He smiled at them all, and Stiles was sure she had never seen his face actually _do_ that.

She swallowed, trying (and failing) to hide how much she was checking him out.

“Hey Derek!” Stiles saw Lydia stand and tentatively hug Derek, who actually moved to hug her back. He then moved over to Allison, his smile blinding as he looked at her.

“Allison, you look gorgeous. Pregnancy looks incredible on you.” He leaned over and hugged her as she giggled her thanks.

Shit.

He turned to Stiles.

Shit.

“Hi Stiles.”

She opened her mouth, and somehow, she sounded like a human. “Hey Derek, it’s good to see you.” She stood, unsure of where the hell this newfound confidence was coming from, but her brain promptly short circuited when they hugged. He pulled her close, one arm low on her back as he held her, the other wrapping all the way around her to her opposite shoulder. She was sure she had never been hugged like this. Did he always hug like this? Did he hug Lydia like this? They pulled away, and he smiled at her, and she smiled back. “Are you staying to eat with us?”

She saw something flicker in his eyes before Scott spoke up, “hell yes, dude you can’t leave now, I’m too outnumbered here!”

Derek laughed for a bit, still looking at Stiles when he nodded. “Sure, I’d love to.”

Allison had received very strict instruction to recline as much as she could, so they ate around the coffee table, passing food up to Allison when she requested.

“So Derek, what brings you back to Beacon Hills?” Lydia was delicately eating her way through spring roll. How anyone could do that delicately was beyond Stiles.

“Uh, I actually moved back for the family land. Bought it back from the council.”

“What, really?” Stiles almost spat her chow mein out in her haste.

He looked at her and nodded, “yeah. Cora and I stayed in Mexico for a while, and I made a couple life changes. A couple months ago I finally realised it was time to come back, and start again.”

She nodded, feeling herself smiling, “and Cora?”

He nodded, “yeah, and if they want, Erica, Boyd and Isaac. Erica and Boyd moved to Australia though, and Isaac to France, but they know the offer is open to them.”

“So you are gonna build the house the same, or tweak the plans?”

Lydia and Allison shared a loaded look, Scott was shoving fried rice in his mouth, and seemed to be oblivious of the fact that Derek and Stiles seemed so wrapped up in each other, they forgot the others were still there.

“Very similar, especially the parts designed by my mom. I want more bedrooms, more garages, and an open air entertainment area.”

Stiles was nodding as he spoke, “and a games room.” Her eyes were shining with excitement, her smile splitting her face.

“No,” he laughed, “I don’t need a games room.”

“Rubbish, everyone needs a game room. You are getting a games room. Yay games room!”

He laughed, “I’d forgotten how irritating you can be.”

She smiled and winked, “I’ll remind you!” A few seconds went by before the sound of Scott laughing brought her to her senses, “oh jesus not like that, I mean like, you’ll be here, and I’ll be here! Together! Well, not together, but-“

“Stiles?”

She looked up at Allison who was fighting laughter, and it broke her out of her verbal diarrhoea. “Excuse me.” She jumped up and escaped to the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to smack her head repeatedly on the door, but that would definitely bring attention to herself. “Stupid,” she whispered to herself, washing her hands and dabbing cold water on her face. She took a deep breath, feeling the burn in her lungs, summoning up the courage to open the door and go back out there.

When she did, she saw Derek was gone. She would like to imagine it’s not the first thing she noticed, but that would be a lie.

“Derek went home, but he left you this.” Allison was holding out a piece of paper, which she took gingerly. His cell number. “You wanna talk about that small smile on your face, Stiles?” She looked up at Alli suddenly, and she tried to stop smiling but it wouldn’t go away. She shook her head, biting her bottom lip. Allison simply lifted her eyebrows a couple times which made Stiles blush, and she sat next to Allison.

“Where’s Scott and Lyds?”

“Scott went to get me some ginger tea from the deli by his mom’s house, and Lyds went home. You wanna stay the night?”

Stiles nodded, and settled next to Alli, putting her head on Allison’s shoulder. “When you give birth, I want custody of a baby.”

Allison didn’t even argue, she just snorted and asked why.

“Well, I’ve decided. If I’m cleaning dirty diapers, I might as well be able to take one out whenever I feel like it.”

“Or, how about you take both boys and let me sleep?”

Stiles snorted now, “please, you fell pregnant with two, that’s your fault missy, don’t punish me.”

Scott arrived back then, and smiled at the sight of his wife and his best friend laughing uncontrollably on the couch, hand in hand. It had been so incredibly strange, finding Stiles on the Preserve grounds, unresponsive all those years ago. He had dragged himself and Stiles home, only to soon realise that something else was happening to him, to them both, and that he needed Deaton. The moment the druid took a look at Stiles, he knew exactly what had happened, before he had suddenly and inexplicably disappeared for a couple months, leaving the teens to try figure it out for themselves.

“Love?” He looked up at Alli, and smiled, taking her tea to her. “Stiles is gonna stay tonight, can you check the guest room?” He nodded and left, his mind swimming as he prepared the room.

“Alli, what if I’m never good at this, at being a girl?”

She squeezed Stiles’ hand quickly, “please, you will. You are! I saw how you were looking at-“

“God don’t say it.” She covered her eyes with her free hand.

“DEREK.” Alli enunciated his name so clearly, it made Stiles’ heart ache. “I’m not blind.”

“Yeah, but that’s not a, it’s not, me being a woman has nothing to do with that.” She trailed off, unable to make eye contact with Allison. Stiles hadn’t even told Scott she had been gay, and she wasn’t sure how to categorise it now, considering she still believed one day she would be a guy again.

“So?”

That got Stiles to look at Alli, “so? So what?”

Alli nodded, “yes, so what? What difference does it make if you liked Derek before?”

Stiles gestured with her hand to nothing in particular, “well, what the hell does it mean Alli? That I’m still a dude under these boobs? That I was gay but now I’m straight, because I have a vagina? Yes I said it, so tell Lydia. Also, what the hell about Derek? I’m a woman now, won’t that freak someone out? It freaks me out! And what if I did get rid of the curse, and my boobs like fell off and rolled away, what then?”

She took a breath and noted Alli’s humorous expression. “Fairly sure your boobs won’t fall off. Also, why are you even worried about the future? Who knows if or when we will break the curse?”

Stiles’ jaw slacked, “what, what do you mean why am I worried? I was never meant to be a girl, Allison, I was a guy, I had a dick and everything, I was pretty much ok with being a guy who liked guys, and then this shit happened, how am I supposed to just forget about that?”

Allison opened her mouth to speak a couple times before the words came out. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just saying, you like him, maybe just see where that goes before you start worrying about the future? Also, Derek knows, it’s not like you have to explain it to him.”

Stiles got up, agitated and twitchy. “You don’t understand Alli, I shouldn’t be this,” she gestured to herself, “talking about my period? Fucking awful, seriously, because I shouldn’t have one. This isn’t my body.” She whispered the last sentence before she left to go to the guestroom, closing the door behind her and wishing that she could wake up feeling like she used to.


	3. Chapter 3

She bid goodbye to Allison and Scott shortly after she apologised to Allison the next morning, who told her not to be silly, that she hadn’t done anything wrong. She turned down a ride home, saying the walk would do her well. Allison stopped fighting once she realised that Scott knew she was telling the truth, that she really believed the walk would help. As she trudged home, she let her mind wander to herself, and how she had changed over the course of 4 years. She had had a sleepless night, her mind racing topics before she had a chance to understand what she was thinking about, but the one thing she kept coming back to was just how much she, personally, had changed. Sure, everyone changes, but it felt awfully unfair that her life had changed this much. She tried to think of how she had lived, right after the witch had cursed her, but everything seemed so muddled and confused. She realised, with a start, that she couldn’t remember when _she_ began referring to herself as a ‘she’. She stopped, unaware of her surroundings, and frowned. When _had_ she started that? It had been decided, after her boobs started showing, and her face became softer and definitely more feminine, that it would be easier to just go with it and be publicly known as a woman. Seemed easier than trying to deepen her voice when she spoke, or trying to hide her boobs on her skinny frame. She, along with Scott, Alli and Lydia, had been almost finished with school, so it wasn’t too hard to postpone that public announcement until after she was done with the hell that was high school.

But then what? She remembered she began dressing ‘better’, thanks to a shopping spree, courtesy of Lydia, who was adamant that plaid was definitely not her style anymore, and so she opted for better T-shirts, tops, and occasionally a blouse. She had studied online, so that was easy. She started work online, after realising how nice it was to not have to deal with people, in person. She loved working as a freelancer, and found it gave her enough freedom to still enjoy life. At least, that’s what she thought.

She began walking again, without considering the right direction of home, and over an hour later, she came back to her senses and saw she was absolutely lost. “What the hell?” She looked around, sure she had never seen this area before. She whipped out her phone and pulled up her maps, grateful to see she wasn’t all that lost, but she should probably get an uber. As she was starting to order one, a car pulled up beside her and hooted. She shoved her phone in her bag as fast as she could, holding her bag tight against her chest as the window rolled down.

“Stiles? You ok?”

She let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and bent down to peer in the window. “Derek?”

He reached over and opened the car door, pushing it open, “hop in.”

She hesitated a moment, before getting in. “What are you doing here?”

He pointed across the road to a motel, “I’m currently staying there, until I get some building completed in the Preserve. Why are you here? Where’s your car?” He started off back towards her house and waited for her to answer.

“Um, I was walking home, kinda zoned out, I guess?”

“6km’s is a little out of the way though, Stiles.”

“Yeah well. Existential breakdowns will do that to a person.”

He peered over to her, but she pointedly looked out of her window, so he continued to drive in silence.

  
“Thanks for the ride, Derek.”

“Stiles, wait,” he grabbed her forearm, and she turned back to look at him. “Is everything ok?”

Shen shook her head suddenly, shutting her eyes tight. “No, please can I go now?”

He let go, but climbed out the car as well, much to Stiles’ surprise. “What are you doing?”

He smirked, which should not be doing things for her right now, “I think, as payment, I’d love a glass of water. Please.”

She nodded, feeling incredibly stupid, and opened the front door, leading to the kitchen. “I also have fresh orange juice?”

“Thanks, I’ll have that.”

She watched him settle at the dining table, and she joined him with the two glasses, sitting opposite him.

“So, you gonna tell me what’s on your mind?”

“Seriously?”

“Deadly.” He looked serious, so she nodded.

“Fine, yeah. Uh, just kind of freaking out that I’m a girl.”

He scoffed, “this isn’t new news though?”

“Yeah well, I only realised today that I have no idea when I started identifying as a girl, and that scares the shit out of me.” She bit out, before training her gaze on her glass. “I just, I would have thought that by now, I’d be me,” she added quietly. 

She saw Derek shift from the corner of her eye and looked up to him. “What do you mean, don’t you feel like yourself?”

She laughed humourlessly, “I mean I feel like a girl, but I was a guy, doesn’t that make me a guy?”

He said nothing for a while, both just gazing from their glasses to each other. Eventually, he spoke up, quietly, “in Mexico, I wasn’t in a good place. I’m sure you remember how I was back then. Cora tells me all the time how much of a crap person I was when we found each other again.”

“You were never a crap person, Derek. You were just a little, I dunno, damaged?”

He nodded, “and it took a while for me to see that. But when I did, I saw a therapist.”

Her eyes grew wide, and she was legitimately speechless.

“It was hard at first, you know? Opening up to someone, a stranger, when I couldn’t even be open with myself? But, it helped. I feel like I wasted so much time avoiding help. I spent so many years with anger being my anchor, that I forgot what anything else felt like. I actually trained as a trauma counsellor after my sessions ended.”

“Oh my god, seriously? That’s amazing!”

He smiled, it was small and shy and so endearing. “Thank you. I can finally, for the first time in my life, say that I’m proud of myself.”

“You should be.” She spoke so earnestly, it made him feel so accepted, even as flawed and, as she said, as damaged as he was.

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you could benefit from seeing someone.”

“Seeing someone?”

He nodded, “a therapist.”

She frowned, and shook her head slightly, “yeah, imagine explaining my particular issues to someone. I’d be a permanent resident at Eichen House before any of you knew I was gone.”

He had started shaking his head as she was talking, but let her rant until she was done. “There are therapists out there who deal with the supernatural, Stiles. And, this _is_ Beacon Hills.”

“What?”

He nodded, smiling again. “It would have been very hard to explain my ability to full shift to anyone else. I can recommend a couple of people, right here in Beacon Hills.”

She stared at him, unsure if this was even real, before she shook her head. “I can’t afford that.”

“I’ll pay.”

She scoffed, “no, Derek, I can’t let you-“

“You can’t let me help you?” His eyebrow quirked, and she shut her mouth. “Please, let me help you help yourself. Please.”

She regarded him seriously for a moment, before she began to think of actually going to therapy, what might happen. Maybe she would feel better, maybe it would help. She didn’t realise she was smiling until Derek touched her arm and she looked at him.

“It will be good for you, Stiles.” She nodded, and he smiled with her, grabbing his phone and pulling up a contact for her. “I have only heard of this therapist, but she comes with great recommendations and high regards from my old therapist. I wouldn’t send you to anyone I know, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Why, what’s wrong with me?” She glared at him, not sure why he just hit her with that one.

“Stiles, so you feel comfortable. If you knew I knew your therapist, would you feel comfortable opening up to her?”

She pursed her lips as she realised what he meant, and a blush settled on her cheeks. “God, sorry.”

He laughed, “don’t be ridiculous. Want to go for lunch?”

See, that was a pretty ridiculous thing right there, but who was she to say no?

He drove them to a quaint little café a little out of Beacon Hills and was determined that she try their onion bacon jam and camembert croissant, which was absolutely out of this world. They made no more mention of the therapist, but Stiles was almost excited for him to drop her off at home, so she could call. Almost.

“So what else did you do in Mexico?”

They had decided to take a stroll in a local park, enjoying the warm spring sun. “Met some incredible people, made some great friends. Mostly, just healed, and became closer to Cora. Even met up with Peter a couple of times.”

“Peter?”

He nodded, “he has also changed, but it’s not exactly the kind of change you can see? I know he cares more, even if he is dismissive sometimes. Even when he is a dick.” She nodded, she could see that. “He also has this, this _thing_ , where he swears he is done, has a never-to-return sort of attitude, but he has never let me down? So, yeah. What about you?”

She shrugged, “studied English online, started working as a freelancer. Fell into the routine of being a girl. That’s pretty much it.”

“Really? That’s all? How sad.”

He ducked out of her reach as she tried to smack his arm, and he laughed.

“Fine, Mr Do It All, what should I have done?”

He dramatically scratched his chin, “hmmm, how about, gone out and actually met different people?”

“Ugh. Can barely stand the people I know now.”

She didn’t see the attack coming until it was too late, and Derek had her pressed against his chest with one arm, tickling her with his other hand. She begged in broken breaths and belly laughs, but only when he was satisfied with her teary eyes did he let her go with a smirk.

“What the hell,” she asked him, her voice hoarse from all the laughter, and she clutched her sides, trying to regain her breath.

“It sounded like you needed something exciting to happen, and also you were being characteristically sarcastic.”

She couldn’t argue with that and they continued to walk on, pausing only momentarily when Derek put her arm through his, without even looking at her. She gripped at his bicep and fought a smile. He cleared his throat and she looked up, smiling when she made eye contact.

“This ok?”

She looked down to where she was holding his arm, and back up to his face. “More than.”

He nodded, and they continued to walk along.

“Derek, can I ask you something?” He hummed in response, so she continued, “what are you gonna do here?”

“What do you mean?” He looked down to her, frowning a little.

“I mean, when you finish the house. I kind of feel like you will be literally building the house yourself,” he nodded, “but when it's finished, what are you gonna do?”

He shrugged, looking up at the trees around them. “Whatever I want, I guess. I’ll still be available as a counsellor, I already dropped my details off at the station and the hospital, but I’ll do whatever I feel like?”

“That is so frustratingly vague.”

He laughed, “so how should I have answered?”

“Well, I don’t know. Find a lady friend. Or a guy friend? I don’t know you like that. Anyway, moving on because hello awkward, my old friend? Start a family? Get a job? What normal people do?”

He stopped, and moved slightly to face her. “Don’t really need a job, unless I get bored I guess. Even with the rebuild, I can live comfortably, however I want. Right now, I have no idea what my future holds, and I’m ok with that. My life used to just be about what was happening right now, about evading death and fighting the latest threats. It’s ok that all I know right now is that I want to rebuild.”

“Well, I know _that_.”

He shook his head, “then I don’t know how to answer. As for your other question, maybe I’ll let your brilliant mind figure it out?”

Her head flicked up so she could stare at him, “wait, what? What question?”

He, frustratingly, just smirked and shrugged, pulling her along.

“Hey now, what question did I ask? I kind of babbled and I don’t know what I said and you, like a moron, answered my questions in reverse and-“

He cut her off by stopping suddenly and pressing his lips against hers quickly. It was over before Stiles could even BEGIN to appreciate it, but she was speechless regardless.

“And that?”

He smirked again, “think of it as a clue.”

She watched him start walking away and bit her bottom lip in an attempt to not smile, but found she really didn’t care that she couldn’t stop.

“Coming Stiles?”

She watched him turn to look at her, and she nodded, “only if we get some coffee.”

His eyes gleamed, “anything.”


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, she had managed to get squeezed in for her first session, only an hour after she called the therapist. She was happy she could get it over as quick as possible, but it still filled her with an immense feeling of dread. What if her therapist told her she was being silly? What if she said to just get over it? These thoughts followed her, taunting her, as she drove, finally parking close to the therapist’s office, and it was a little daunting if Stiles was being entirely honest. As she reached the office, she held her breath, her heart beating against her ribcage. She leaned against the wall to try retain some composure, but felt it slipping away between her fingers. Her hands were shaking, and her blood felt like it was pooling to her head, pushing against her eyeballs.

“Stiles? It’s ok, just take a deep breath, I’m going to grab your left hand, alright?”

She nodded frantically, trying to breath with broken lungs and felt a warm hand envelope hers.

“Deep breath in, hold, and release. Breathe in, hold, out.” She listened, trying to follow her guide, slowly feeling more and more calm. “That’s it, keep going. Come, come with me and I’ll take you inside to sit down.” She nodded, still breathing loudly, and followed the hand pulling her inside, where she was instantly swathed in a curling smoke, which seemed to settle into her cells, calming her instantly.

“Whoa, what is that?” She felt incredible, and turned to look at the woman who had ushered her inside. She was short, with curly brown hair and giant rimmed glasses.

“I’m Veronique, you can call me Vern if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

“I’m Stiles, but you already knew that. Speaking of which, how did you know I was out there, having an attack?”

Vern grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, passing one to Stiles and gesturing for her to sit down. “I am a werewolf.”

Stiles nodded, swallowing quietly.

“This smoke? It calms down my clients and masks my own senses, so I can’t hear as well as I usually do, but your heartbeat became quite persistent, and once I opened the door, I could smell your spike in adrenaline.”

“Wow. That’s pretty cool, is it wolfsbane?”

“Yes, actually. It’s a strain found only in the Netherlands.”

“Hmmm. So I guess you use it so your clients know you aren’t scenting them or listening if they are lying or something?”

She nodded, “I find that even though my clients are usually involved in the supernatural world somehow, they are far more comfortable when they know I’m not using my heightened senses. Makes them feel more secure.” Vern waited a moment, regarding Stiles. “Just to get formalities out of the way, whatever you tell me will remain between us, unless I feel you could benefit from someone else, but I will get your permission beforehand. I will have to inform those necessary if I think you are a danger to yourself or others. Can you agree to this?”

“Yeah, no problem.” Stiles took a deep breath and decided to just rip the band aid off. “So I was born a boy, you know, and then I kinda pissed off a witch, the same night my best friend was bitten by a werewolf, and then she cursed me. Hey presto, boobs.”

Vern nodded, “do you mind if I take notes?”

“Sure, that’s ok.” She shrugged.

“How old were you when this occurred?”

“Uh, 16?”

Vern nodded, writing on her notepad. “And the curse began affecting you immediately?”

“Um, I think so? It was 4 years ago, and I kind of passed out, and then woke up to a panicky druid and a newly bitten werewolf best friend. And then my boobs grew over the next couple months, my face structure changed slightly? Don’t know if that’s important.”

“Anything you want to tell me is important, I want you to understand that.” She made another note. “How does this make you feel today?”

This question was the one Stiles both wanted to avoid and fix as quickly as possible. “Well, that’s why I’m here, I guess? It’s all overwhelming. I thought by now it would be fixed, but I also feel comfortable? But that makes me stress that I’m giving up, that I don’t think I’ll ever go back to being a guy and I don’t want to do anything with my life in case things go back to normal but I don’t want to miss out on life and it’s been 4 years and god is it hot in here?” She stood up and fanned herself, pacing.

“Stiles, take all the time you need. We’ll only ever go at your speed.”

She nodded and tried to organise her thoughts in a line.

“God, I just. I don’t know. I want to know what I’m supposed to do.” She looked at Vern expectantly as she sat down, but Vern shook her head slowly.

“Stiles, I can’t tell you what to do. Unfortunately, therapy doesn’t work like that. How things change, or improve, or evolve, is all up to you.”

Stiles huffed and sat back in the chair quickly, “then how does it work? Because I’m only here right now because I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Ok, imagine I have a client who is afraid of commitment, and I said, ‘go get married’. Do you think that would help them?” Stiles shook her head. “Exactly, and if I had a client who was afraid of water, would I tell them to just take it slow, go at their pace and try desensitise themselves to water, working up from a glass of water to a bathtub, and eventually to a pool?”

“Well, technically that could work?”

“But my client has no arms or legs.”

Stiles fought a smile, sensing the trap. “So, we have to come up with our own way of fixing our own problems.”

Vern nodded, “not problems though, Stiles. Obstacles, that’s all this is. That’s all anything is, as terrifying and earth-shattering as they may seem, they are obstacles. We just need to learn how to navigate them, and learn from them.”

She nodded, taking a deep and shaky breath. “So how do I figure out how to fix how I feel?”

She got a smile in return, and Vern cocked her head slightly, “you take the first step, which is looking for help. Sometimes, you can sleep on an issue, and you can figure it out. Sometimes, you can talk to a friend. And then sometimes, you need someone who is impartial and non-judging, so you can talk freely and begin to unravel the problem. All you need to do is grab the end of the problem and see where it takes us.”

She nodded, drinking a little water. “Ok, so maybe I’m scared that I’m giving up.”

“Giving up how, and what happens if you did give up?”

“Giving up in that maybe I will forever be a woman, and I’ll never go back to the body that I knew.”

Vern waited, but Stiles stubbornly stayed silent. “Aren’t you used to your body? It has been yours since birth.”

Stiles scoffed, “I didn’t have a vagina at birth.”

“That I understand. Would you be willing to do a practical activity now?”

“Which is?”

“I give you the materials you need, and we explore this problem.”

She squinted, not sure what the hell was about to happen. “Sure?”

Vern smiled warmly, and stood up, gesturing for Stiles to follow. They went into another room that was filled with items, from tables, to chairs, to cups, rugs, pieces of fences, you name it. Stiles watched Vern pull a giant mirror to the centre of the room and asked her to stand in front of it. “Now Stiles, start from your feet please, and I want you to work your way up. Tell me, are they your feet?”

“Well, yeah, I guess so?”

“And your ankles?”

“Yes, they are my legs.”

“So, when you go to move your left foot, you can do it?” Stiles nodded, moving her foot, “and if you try bend your right knee, can you? Does it move?” She nodded again, bending and straightening her knee a couple times. “So, they are your legs. Now your arms, are they yours?”

Stiles watched her reflection, moving her fingers, her wrists, elbows, shoulders. They were her arms, but she had never thought they weren’t.

“Your head. Can you move it from left to right?” Stiles did. “Your eyes, are they your eyes?” Stiles swallowed, and nodded slowly, looking to her eyes.

“They are exactly like my mothers were.” Vern nodded behind her, encouraging her to go on. “She died when I was 9, and it was hard. It still is, and sometimes my dad says things like I remind him of her, but I shouldn’t. At least, not more than I did when I was a guy.”

“And what happened to make you think you will never get rid of this curse?”

Stiles made eye contact with Vern fleetingly before she looked away, back to her reflection. “We spoke to a witch. Not the same one, but one that was on good terms with someone we know. She said it was a special-purpose curse, and that she couldn’t lift it. We needed to find the witch who cursed me. We managed, somehow, but something was wrong. We went into her cottage, and there was, she was dying.” Stiles eyes had dropped from looking at her reflection, and she was lost in the memory. “I asked her, I begged for her to help me, but she said like, a riddle, and then she died.”

Vern spoke softly behind her, “what did she say?”

“When four eyes are blind, an organ crushed and hard to swallow, two shall find it all be hollow.” She looked up to meet Vern’s eyes through the mirror. “We can’t figure it out. We searched everything. We spoke to so many people, and no one can help. This,” she waved to her body in the mirror, “is stuck until I figure it out, but I have no idea. Good god we broke into a university morgue and stole from the cadavers. 4 blind eyes, we took a heart, a brain, a lung and liver, crushed them all, and we put the eyes in each disgusting concoction, washing them off when nothing happened and tried the next goo. We figured we had to be wrong.”

After a few moments of silence, Vern spoke up, “shall we go back?”

Stiles nodded and took one last look at herself before walking back to the office.

“Stiles, did you understand what I showed you in there?” She shrugged in response, so Vern continued, “what you are currently residing in, _is_ your body. I know it has some important differences from the body you were born with, but it is yours. This is your life. Whether you are male or female, one day you will die. Tell me, if you lived to a ripe old age, as a woman, would you not regret it? Looking back on your life, seeing that you did nothing, _in case_ things change, wouldn't you regret not taking chances, and having fun? Seeing where life takes you?”

She nodded again, staring intently at her fingers. “But I feel out of sorts. Like, I’m a woman right, I go by female pronouns by choice, but I was never transgendered before, so that is just a result of me _being_ a woman. But, when I really think about it, this doesn’t feel like it’s my body. It kind of just exists where I exist?” She looked up at Vern, desperation present in her eyes. “How do I feel like I’m not a body snatcher or something, how do I feel like this, _this,”_ she signalled up and down her body, “is actually mine? It’s been 4 years!” She hadn’t meant to get so riled up and shocked herself by almost shouting at the end of her sentence.

Vern nodded, and grabbed her pen and notepad. “I have some homework for you, I’d like you to try it, see what you can do, and then we can talk about it next session?” She passed Stiles the paper, folded, and smiled. “Read it at home, when you are alone. When you are ready to try something new.”

“Can I ask one more question?”

“Absolutely Stiles.”

“What if I felt this gender dysphoria but I was still technically in the right body? Like back when I was a guy, but instead I felt like I should be a girl? Would you still be telling me that I should be just trying to accept it?”

“No, I wouldn’t. That is very different, because you, unfortunately, were cursed. Supernaturally, there are a lot more factors in your case, and you and I both know this isn’t gender dysphoria.”

“How do you know that I know it’s not?”

She smiled, “because normally, someone comes in and says, ‘I’m in the wrong body, have been since birth’. You were cursed, and obviously have done some research on the topic, which means you know that you can’t be diagnosed with it.”

“It feels really similar to how it’s described though, Vern.”

“I understand that you feel that way, but I believe that a supernatural cause predetermines the need for a supernatural remedy. Just try the homework, and I’ll see you in a couple days.”

 

When Stiles stood next to her car outside, she closed her eyes and turned her face to the sun. She breathed in, feeling the air enter her lungs easier than it’s felt in a while. She didn’t know if the smoke was still affecting her, but she felt a glimmer of hope; small and weak, but it was there, and she was desperate to keep it alive.


	5. Chapter 5

As per his request, Stiles made her way to Derek’s motel after her session. It was late afternoon, and he had bribed her with the promise of curly fries. She drove in silence, but her head was swimming; snippets of conversations and thoughts and memories flashing in her mind like a photosensitive-epileptic’s worst nightmare.

She arrived at Derek’s, and smiled when she found him outside, a large cardboard box in his arms. She was about to climb out when he shook his head and he opened her door. “Do you mind if we go somewhere?”

She shook her head, a small smile on her lips, “where are you thinking?” He smirked instead of answering, and climbed into her passenger seat, holding the box on his lap. She glanced at him, before putting the car into gear. “So, where to, señor?”

Derek laughed, and that little glimmer in her chest grew a little brighter, “the Preserve. Where the old house was.”

She smiled wider as she took the turn off, and they drove in a comfortable silence, but Stiles kept stealing sideway glances at Derek, who looked oddly relaxed in her car. She stifled a giggle, which caught his attention, and he raised an eyebrow. “I was just thinking how you used to call my Jeep a death trap, and yet here you are, inside it.”

“Oh, it is a death trap, that hasn’t changed.”

“Hey, rude, don’t be mean to Roscoe!” She caressed the dash, “he didn’t mean it baby,” she cooed, knowing it would get a reaction.

“Seriously, Stiles? Your roof lining?” He reached up and poked it, “It’s not attached to the roof.”

“So? That doesn’t make it a death trap.” She had reached the Preserve, and stopped the car, jumping out. Derek reached across her seat and popped her bonnet, and she laughed, blushing. “No no, looking under the bonnet is like looking up someone’s skirt!” She laughed out, trying to stop him from proving his point. He did have the advantage of being taller and stronger though, and the bonnet soon proudly stood open, with Derek pointing at various bits of duct tape, and one piece of oily cardboard. He eventually looked at her, his eyes shining in glee, “see, death trap.” He shut the bonnet and stalked off, leaving her laughing next to her car before she ran to catch up.

“So, you don’t have to tell me anything, but did today go well?”

She looked up at him and noticed the worry. She nodded, “yeah, actually. Vern is really nice. She showed me how to move my arms and legs.” She laughed when she saw his confused expression, and opted to run ahead, rushing into the clearing where she knew the old house once stood, before the council tore it down. Low and behold, there was now a foundation. She pointed from it to Derek, her mouth spread in a wide grin.

He smiled too, and looked at the foundation proudly. “It was thrown today.”

“I didn’t realise you had an actual plan yet, I thought it would have still been a while?” They walked together, closer to the foundation, as Stiles seemed to be sizing up the prepared ground.

“I did all the work I could from Mexico, I thought it would be better to get here and build immediately, rather than only starting to get plans authorised now.”

She nodded, turning back to him, “how did you convince the council to give it back to you? According to my dad, they kind of deemed the Preserve a natural landmark.”

“Well, I do have the original deeds for the land, technically the entire Preserve belonged to my family, belongs to me.” Somehow that didn’t surprise Stiles. “I told them that I had no plans to destroy the Preserve, to fill it with cement and bricks, that I only wanted a house similar to the original structure. They seemed a little happier once they knew I didn’t want to build a condo.”

“Well I don’t know Derek, the size of this foundation? You did say you wanted more bedrooms, sounds condo-ish to me.” When he didn’t respond, she turned to him, and squawked when she saw he was eating curly fries from the box he was still holding. “Mine!” She reached for the box, but he turned and walked away, and she tried reaching around him but he held the box further away. “Oh my gosh Derek I’m sorry it’s not a condo, give me fries!”

He stopped suddenly and she bumped into his back, pushing him on the shoulder blade in retaliation. He gave her the box, and pulled out a blanket which he placed on the grass, before he took the box and sat down. Stiles copied him, and watched as he took different bowls and Tupperware from the box, along with Champagne and two flutes.

“What’s all of this?”

He looked at the spread and smiled shyly. “I kind of wanted to celebrate the beginning of the build.”

She reached out and placed her hand on his arm, and he looked at her. “I’m glad you invited me to celebrate.”

He smiled again, a little more confidently, “well I figured it’s only fair.”

Her eyebrows lowered, and she smirked, “how so?”

He pulled out a piece of paper and passed it to her. She looked at him quizzically, but he looked pointedly as the paper as he began to uncork the Champagne. She unfolded the paper, and saw it was small drawings of the house; the floorplans. “Holy crap, 3 floors?” She looked up to him shrugging.

“The extra bedrooms need to go somewhere. Keep looking.”

She pulled the paper closer, trying to see what he could have been wanting her to see, when she skimmed over a room that was all too familiar. She looked up, poking the paper roughly where the room was, “a games room?”

He nodded, the corners of his lips lifting slightly.

“I said a games room!”

He nodded again, now full-on smiling.

“Oh my god, did you add the games room after I told you?”

He looked down quickly to hide the embarrassment, but she scooted closer, “everyone needs a games room,” she reminded him quietly, and he looked up, nodding a little.

“Yeah, maybe you’ll help me with it? I don’t know what goes in a games room, I’m fairly sure you don’t mean board games.”

She giggled, “no, not board games. Well, yes, actually, we could, but specifically you need a consol.”

He nodded again, passing her a flute of Champagne, “well I look forward to seeing this games room.”

She gently tapped her glass against his and they both took a sip, before Derek dangled a curly fry in her face.

“Curly fries and Champagne?” She ate it, and grabbed a handful.

“Didn’t think you would complain.”

“Oh, hell no. Coulda brought vegetable oil and it would still be a good match” She muttered between mouthfuls. She swallowed quickly, watching him eating, when a thought popped into her head, and out of her mouth without any permission. “Why did you bring me here?

He looked up, confused. “I told you, I wanted to celebrate?”

“Yeah but why me?”

He looked back at the foundation, frowning, “because the foundation was thrown today?”

“Yes but-“

“You and I already had plans, if that’s what you mean?”

Now she was confused, “yeah, I know, but what about Cora? Wouldn’t you rather celebrate with family?”

He looked at her inquisitively, and a shiver ran up her spine. “Given the choice again, I’d still want you to come celebrate with me.” She blushed and looked away. “Seriously Stiles, remember, yay games room?” She laughed as he reminded her of her words, and looked back at him, but something felt different. The air felt charged. He was looking at her, and it was the kind of look that quickened her breathing. He moved towards her, slowly, and when she didn’t move away, he brushed the hair from her face behind her ear. “Stiles, I’d really like it if you’d let me kiss you.”

She waited a moment before she moved towards him, surprising him as she pressed her lips to his. His fingers wound in her hair as her hands gripped his shirt, both feeling as if this kiss was all there was to live for right now. She got onto her knees, and he pulled her onto his lap, straddling him, and their lips never once broke apart. She moaned at the sky as he pulled his lips from hers, kissing his way down the column of her throat, before he let out a shaky breath. He held her against him, his forehead resting on her shoulder, and she carded her fingers through the hair at the base of his skull. She could feel his excitement through his jeans, pushing against her where she sat on his lap, which definitely had her body reacting to him.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, eventually, and she looked down at him, pulling his head away from her so she could look into his eyes.

“Why?”

His eyes flicked away guiltily for a moment, before he steeled himself and looked back at her. “I don’t want you think I had planned this.”

She looked from his eyes to his lips, and back, before answering quietly. “I know.” His eyebrow raised questioningly, and she smiled, “you realise I could have said no. I didn’t have to kiss you. I wanted to.”

His eyes darkened at her words and he kissed her again, with less fire but just as much passion. He pulled away, and leaned back on his hands, leaving Stiles sitting on his lap still, her hands resting on his chest to keep herself steady. She looked up at the darkening sky, and around them into the dark Preserve. “What’s on your mind?”

She looked at him, fighting a smile. “Kind of feel like a teenager. Like I’m doing something reckless, making out with you in the woods.” His responding laugh was loud and carefree, and she loved the way he threw his head back, his eyes tightly shut as he let himself be happy. He was such a different man than the one she knew 3 years ago, which suddenly had her mind thinking in a different direction. She climbed off his lap suddenly, and moved back a couple spaces on the blanket.

“Stiles?” He asked her, no trace of either laugher or happiness in his voice.

“Derek, why are you kissing me? Why now?”

He looked at her in confusion, “I thought you just said you wanted it too?”

She ran her hands down her face, huffing. “Right, so in spite of the fact that this might scare you off, I liked you.” She saw his confusion deepen. “Before all this happened.” She looked down her body, looking up as the realisation crossed his face. “Yeah. Which is why I’m confused as to why I’m getting this attention now.”

He stared at her for several tense moments, before he clenched his jaw and sat up straighter. “I can’t lie and say I liked you.” She felt her heart drop a couple inches in her chest cavity, and her stomach seemed to move in very much the same manner. She looked up and saw that he had shut his eyes, and he looked like he was in pain, but she couldn’t reach out to touch him. She didn’t want to. “Stiles, I.” He sighed, looking at her again, “I didn’t like myself back then. I couldn’t focus on another person long enough to feel anything-“

“What about Jennifer?  Braeden? You focused on them.”

He huffed, “in all honesty?” She nodded. “Jennifer was pretty, and as much as I hated myself, I still liked having sex. Braeden was similar, except she fought with me on a way that comforted me, somehow. Going between anger and sex felt good. Obviously that all came crashing down.” She said nothing, instead dissecting his words and trying to see where she fit in all of this. He eventually reached out, and grabbed her knee, bringing her attention back to him. “Stiles, you know that’s not me. You were the one who told me how damaged I was back then. I told you I made life changes.” He reached out to cup her cheek, “then I came back, and I saw you sitting on that couch in Scott’s house. You looked at me, and I swear I saw something in your eyes. Something that screams to me, something that’s drawing me in. I really like you. I like you _now_.”

She searched his eyes for any hint of a lie, but saw only an open vulnerability. She nodded, but moved to stand up. “Um, I’m really beat, I think I better head home.” She waited for him to get up, but he didn’t.

“It’s ok, I’ll find a way back.”

She tried to swallow the bile that threatened in her throat, and nodded, quickly making her way through the Preserve and into the Jeep. She was sure she heard movement behind her, but didn’t look back.


	6. Chapter 6

She didn’t look up as Scott first sat next to her, the bed sagging under their combined weight, then laying down, their heads close.

“So, you ready to talk yet?”

She had arrived the night before, and pretty much hadn’t moved since she collapsed on the guest bed. She looked over to Scott, who looked worried.

“Derek told me he likes me.” She whispered, and he perked at the words.

“Really? Derek?”

She almost smiled at his innocence, and then decided he needed to know the whole story. “So, when I was a guy,” she trailed off, picking at her fingers, agonising over her next words.

“You liked Derek, and now?”

She sat quickly, turning to look at him, “what? How did you know?”

He smiled, and sat up, putting his arm around her. “Stiles, remember when we were kids, you made us do that blood oath to always be best friends?” She nodded, smiling at the disturbing memory. “Well, we also used to look in my mom’s magazines and talk about the hotties we would date, when we are older.”

She laughed, “Oh yeah, you were gonna marry Angelina Jolie!” She sniggered when he poked her in the ribs.

“Yes, but you know what else I remember?” He waited until she shook her head. “You always commented on some actor’s hair, or how good his pants look. From behind. From behind, Stiles. You weren’t exactly subtle.”

Stiles felt tears well in her eyes, and she pushed Scott’s shoulder, “you knew?” He nodded, dopily. “You ass,” she sniffed, and wiped her eyes. “How did you know about Derek though?”

He shrugged, “again, you aren’t exactly subtle. You would never stop talking about him, about how irritating he was, or how he wore his leather jacket really well.”

Her eyes went wide, “I said that?”

He nodded, “on more than one occasion. Then, you were cursed, and you kind of made these googly eyes every time he was around. You kind of looked the way you described me, once I met Allison.”

“Oh that’s gross.”

He laughed and pushed her over, and she didn’t try get up, just rolled onto her back. “But seriously, he said he likes me. Like, now. Obviously, I like him, but it,” she trailed off, running her hands down her face. “It’s just frustrating, why now?” When Scott didn’t answer, she looked up at him from her position, and his eyebrows were pinched together. “What?”

“I don’t understand, what exactly is the problem?”

“Oh gees Scotty, come on! He had Jennifer and Braeden, he never noticed me apparently, until now?”

“Ok, um, I’m gonna call Alli.”

“No, Scott no-“

“Seriously, this is a girl thing because it makes no sense.”

“Ah screw you dude, what the hell?” She yelled at his retreating back, only for Scott to come back and grab her hand, pulling her to her feet, “now what?” She didn’t hide her anger, and he simply raised his eyebrows and smiled, still looking sweet.

“Forgot Alli can’t get up here, so you are going downstairs.”

“No, I’m not. I wanted to talk to you.”

“And now you get me and Alli, it’s a great deal.” He then pulled her out the room, and down the stairs. He pushed Stiles gently through the lounge door, and towards Alli, who looked up confused.

“And now?”

“Girl problems,” Scott informed her, too which Stiles just squawked.

“Is it Derek?” Allison looked at Stiles as she sat down and noted the way she fiddled with her fingers as her head was slightly bowed.

“Yeah.” She spoke quietly, her anger dissipated.

“How can I help?”

Stiles looked up at Allison, and felt comforted by the worry evident in her eyes. Maybe she would understand, maybe Scott _was_ right, not that Stiles would ever tell him.

“So, he told me he likes me.”

Her eyes brightened at that, and grabbed Stiles’ hand, “that’s great!” when Stiles’ face fell a little, she frowned. “Why isn’t it great?”

Stiles shrugged, “he admitted that he didn’t like me before he left.”

Allison narrowed her eyes, pulling her top lip up slightly. “Ok, kinda hurts, I get it, but what else is on your mind?”

She groaned, “I don’t know, ok? All I know is I liked him, and he never looked at me, screwing everything with legs, and then disappeared, but now he comes back and apparently he likes me!” She spoke until she ran out of breath, before throwing her head in her hands.

“Stiles, sweetheart, Derek was a mess. The other day when we saw him for what, the first time in years, Lydia and I can’t believe how, well, different he is. He has changed, surely you see that?” Stiles nodded, opening her mouth to speak but Alli pressed on. “Back then, before he left, you made it well known that he didn’t like you-“

“But now he can?” She barked, glaring up at Allison. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get angry with you Alli, I just, I’m so confused. What if it’s because I was a guy?”

“He likes you because you were guy?”

“No, what if he only likes me now, because I’m far from the guy I was? I dress differently, I look different. I act different, I guess? What if he only likes me because I am a woman, all things considered? With no possible cure in sight.”

Allison squeezed her hand, and waited until Stiles made contact, “maybe this is something you need to talk to him about?”

“Ah gees I can’t do that,” she shook her head vigorously.

“Why not?”

Stiles chewed her cheek while looking at Allison, finally shrugging. “Dunno.”

Alli took a deep breath and smiled, “do you think you could be overthinking things?”

She shrugged again, “right now I don’t know.  I know I want to kill Scott, he sounded so sexist up there.”

Her eyebrows quirked, “what did he say?”

“That this was a ‘girl thing’ because it ‘makes no sense’. I want to punch him for being an idiot.”

Allison looked disappointed, crossing her arms over her chest, “that does sound pretty rude, I won’t lie. Love?” She called out, and he sheepishly slunk out from the kitchen.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant that I don’t understand the problem, and it doesn’t make sense, to me.”

Stiles flipped him off, and Allison sighed. “Scott, do you have a problem that Stiles is still female?”

His eyes went wide, shaking his head, “no, I don’t care! I mean, I think you’ve changed,” he looked at Stiles, wringing his hands, “but you seem like a nicer person as a woman, and I can say that because we are still blood brothers.” He swallowed, “right?” His voice shook slightly, distress colouring his normally playful features.

“You’re a dick though Scott, and I can say that because yes, we are still blood bros.” She felt bitter, but knew better than to push Scott away. He had always been there for her, and she knew she would always need him.

He sat next to her and pulled her in for a hug, “so how do we help you sort this out?”

Allison smiled, “go pull a lasagne out the freezer love.”

“Ah what did you do?” Stiles knew the only time they had lasagne was when something unpleasant was happening. Somehow, Allison thought her famous lasagne made everything ok.

The sad thing was, she wasn’t actually wrong.

“Derek is coming for dinner, and then we can all have a chat.”

“Uh, no, I think you are so mistaken Alli, that won’t be happening because I won’t be asking him.”

Allison said nothing, and simply held her phone up for Stiles to read. He had agreed to come for dinner 4 minutes again. Which gave Stiles a solid 7 hours to come down with a fatal disease.


	7. Chapter 7

After Allison had threatened Stiles with grievous bodily harm, she got dressed. Like, properly dressed. _In_ an actual dress. She felt ridiculous, and thought she looked terrible. Alli had tried to convince her otherwise, but it wasn’t sticking.

“Alli, why are we even doing this? You aren’t even allowed to do anything.” She whined as she sat on the floor by Allison’s feet, who was brushing Stiles’ hair.

“So? I’m pretty good at the whole do-nothing role I’ve been forced into, courtesy of the two dudes currently kicking me in the lungs and bladder.”

Stiles took the hint and jumped up, helping Alli to her feet and supporting her as she waddled to the bathroom, and Scott came in, offering to take it from there.

Stiles walked to the oven, checking to see if it was at the right temperature, when the doorbell rang. She froze, still bent over in front of the oven, and heard Allison shout that it would be Derek.

“I swear I’ll kill you if I find out you set this up so I’d have to answer Allison!” When she heard a laugh through the bathroom door, she knew that was the case. Walking to the door, she patted down her dress, checking it was sitting right, before wrenching the door open and walking away immediately, going to sit on the single seater.

“Hi Stiles.” He sounded surprised, and slightly cautious.

“Hmmm.” She didn’t look up at him, choosing instead to study the floral pattern on the dress, rubbing the chiffon between her fingers.

“Stiles, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s going on. I didn’t even know you’d be here.”

She looked up, brows pinched, “what’s to understand Derek? I feel like I’m a second choice to every single other woman out there!”

“What? Where did that even come from?” He asked exasperatedly, gesticulating widely with his arms.

“You never even looked at me before-“

“I _never_ said that, Stiles. I said I couldn’t lie and say I liked you, the way I like you now.”

She pulled back a little where she was sitting on the couch, and crossed her arms, “oh right, so what does _that_ mean?”

“Fuck Stiles, what do you want me to say? That I was a,” his lip lifted in a snarl, “ _dog?”_ She said nothing, her shoulders drooping slightly. “You want me to say that I was a worthless sack of shit? Huh? You don’t think I know that?” He stormed out the room, and out the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

“Right, so you stay here,” Scott and Alli appeared, with Scott helping Alli back to her recliner, before he darted out the front door.

“What did I do to deserve that?” She was staring intently at the door when the pillow smacked into the side of her face, and she looked over to Allison with her jaw slack, “what did I do to deserve _that?”_

She pointed to the door, “he was trying to talk to you Stiles, that’s what this whole evening is about!”

“I must talk to him? Why is that my job?” She ducked the second pillow, and pulled her tongue at Allison, “now you have no pillows, happy?”

She scowled at Stiles, before sighing. “No, I’m not happy, I’m uncomfortable. Please can I have them back?”

Stiles nodded, grabbing them and helping Alli put them back, one behind her, and one under her knees.

“Thanks Stiles.”

“Should I go outside?” She looked at Allison, who just grimaced and nodded.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” She got up and headed out the door. Derek and Scott were sitting on the sidewalk, and it didn’t look like either of them were planning on talking anytime soon. “Scotty?” He turned to her, and she gestured for him to go back inside. “Derek, can I, do you mind if I sit on the bonnet of your car? Can’t exactly get on the floor gracefully-“

“Yes.” He cut her off, not looking at her. She nodded, pursing her lips, and leaned against the bonnet before scooting up so her feet were dangling, and she began nervously swinging her feet.

The silence beat on for a few uncomfortable minutes before Stiles wanted to explode with anxious energy. “I’m sorry Derek, I didn’t want to, I don’t know what I wanted. I just felt like you were, I don’t know, dismissive of who I was? That doesn’t even make sense.” She put her face in her hands and groaned, which lasted only a moment before Derek grabbed her forearms and pulled her hands from her face. His expression was one of confusion and determination.

“Stiles, talk to me. Properly. Why did you run off yesterday? Why are you so angry with me?”

She shook her head, staring into his eyes. “I,” she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, shaking her head again. “remember the other day, when you picked me up outside your motel?” He nodded, his hands sliding down her arms to hold her hands. “Remember how I said I was thinking about me, this?” She tried to wave down her body, and smiled when Derek wouldn’t let go of her hands.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Then yesterday, you said you didn’t like me, you know, before?”

He nodded, frowning.

“I was wondering if you didn’t like me then, because I was, I don’t know, more of a guy than I am now?”

Derek smiled a little, his eyes brightening a little. “Stiles, remember the day I picked you up outside of my motel?”

She chuckled, “you know, I think I just mentioned that day?”

“Hmmm, well, remember you got worked up about a question I was going to let your brilliant mind figure out?”

She narrowed her eyes, nodding again.

“Well, one of the questions, or maybe a couple of them, you _did_ ramble a bit.” He faked pain when she smacked his wrist, her hands still in his. “You asked why I didn’t find someone to settle down with, man or woman because you didn't know my preferences. ”

He eyes widened, and she bit her cheek.

“I, like many born were’s, am impartial to gender.”

She waited a beat, “meaning?”

“I don’t care if you are a woman or a man.”

“Um, ok, but your track record? Kinda states otherwise.”

He smirked, “you realise this is a small enough town that some gay guys don’t come out, right? Not all of them have a sheriff as a dad. But Stiles, even though you liked me-”

“Wait, you knew?” She blushed, mortified that he had somehow known that even as a guy, she wanted to climb him like a tree.

“No, you told me yesterday, Stiles! God, I think you sometimes have a tendency of talking so much your brain shuts off to reduce overheating.”

Oh. Yeah.

Her blush deepened.

She cleared her throat, “um, so the, uh, the gays.”

“The gays?” His eyebrows raised high, his smile blinding.

“Yep, the gays. They didn’t come out.” He shook his head, trying to control his smirk. “And you probably, you know. Went all Donkey Kong.”

“Donkey Kong?”

“Oh god I don’t know,” she dropped her head on his chest, “please just stop me from talking.” She mumbled into his shirt, sure her face was either on fire, or completed melted off by the sheer temperature of her blush.

He placed a finger under her chin, and gently lifted her face from his chest, only to hear a few mumbled complaints, before he pressed his lips softly against hers, silencing both her complaints and her embarrassing way with words. “So,” he mumbled against her lips, “I think you’re an idiot.” She smacked him on the arm, and felt him smile. “I also think I’m an idiot.” She hummed appreciatively, making him laugh and pull away, looking at her. “Stiles, I am sorry. I didn’t mean for you to think what you did, I just, I can’t pretend my past isn’t my own. It’s not pretty, it’s a little dark and twisted, but it’s still mine.”

She nodded, grabbing his waist to pull him closer, his hips slotting between her knees. “I get that, I don’t want to pretend, but I just felt like I was never an option, and god I wanted to be one.” She looked up, openly, at him, trying to get him to understand what she was trying to say.

He caressed her cheek, grasping her chin with his thumb and forefinger, “but you were so irritating.”

She couldn’t stop herself from bark-laughing, “how rude!”

“I mean, didn’t you ever wonder why you only had Scott?” She knew he was teasing from the way his eyes danced, and the smile he was trying to fight. “So infuriating.” He bent down and kissed her once, quickly. “Always meddling and giving advise about shit, saving me, helping me, _worrying_ about me.” He rested his forehead against hers, rubbing the tips of their noses together. “You always meant something Stiles, even before I really knew you. I threatened to cut your head off if you didn’t cut off my arm. You somehow managed to procrastinate enough for Scott to arrive, just so you could save my arm. You didn’t let me drown. You never called out to your dad when I was waiting for you in your room. You wanted to stay with me outside of La Iglesia, and I know it’s because you were scared I was dying,” he took a breath and pulled away, his brow pinched, “I never let anyone as close to me, as I let you. I know it’s not how you wanted to be, what you wanted us to be back then, but I needed someone who didn’t see through me the way you always have.”

She smiled, lifting only one side of her mouth and shook her head. “You realise, you have a terrible way of wooing people.”

“Why?” He pulled her down the bonnet, pulling her tight to him, her ankles crossing behind him, “Isn’t it working?” He murmured against her lips, kissing down her throat as she gripped his shirt. She threw her head back, and he growled against her skin, drawing a moan from her that she wasn’t aware she could make.

“You guys have 3.5 seconds to clean it up and come eat the lasagne.”

They pulled away quickly, both looking at Allison who was leaning against the doorframe, a knowing smile on her lips. Stiles looked back to Derek, feeling some of her anxiety about this whole confusing situation ease, before she pushed him away, and slid down the bonnet to her feet. Grabbing her hand, he guided her to the house, and towards a now crying Allison.

“You guys are so cute,” she sniffled, and waddled off to wipe her nose and dry her eyes.

“How far along is she?” Derek asked, but he wasn’t looking at Stiles.

Stiles looked up to see Scott coming out from the dining room, a barely disguised smirk on his lips, seriously, had they both just been watching them like a damn reality show? “She’s just passed 7 months,” he spoke while he looked towards the bathroom, listening to his wife, before smiling at Derek, “twin boys.”

“Well, I didn’t get around to congratulating you the other day, but that really is worth commending.” He reached out and hugged Scott, with Scott making wide-eyes at Stiles over Derek’s shoulder before hugging back. Stiles tried to hold her chuckle, and failed, but Allison managed to make it to the room then, and shooed them all to the dining room to eat.


	8. Chapter 8

Going home later that evening, Stiles felt calmer, and more at peace with herself. She and Derek had left on good terms, which felt momentous, especially considering how Stiles had felt this morning and last night.

Allison had made them promise her that they would take it slow, and then after Derek had left, had asked Stiles to make sure she is 100% sure she is ok with Derek’s past before moving forward. As much as Stiles bemoaned how maternal instincts are terrible when they are directed at adults, Allison had given her _that_ look, and Stiles nodded.

“I guess I am still kinda pissed that he only likes me now.”

That earned her another surprise pillow to the face, with Allison glowering at her from her recliner. “That’s not the problem, Stiles! Seriously, why do you think _that’s_ the issue?”

She shrugged, “isn’t it? I’m so confused ok, I went from wanting to beat him to wanting to beat him off, can’t you just-“

“God you are actually gross, shut up.” She laughed out, making grabby hands for the pillow Stiles picked up and was stroking. “Stiles, you need to make sure he likes you, all your history included.”

“Alli, he said he, uh, maybe I shouldn’t tell you actually.”

She giggled, “Stiles, no guy tells a girl anything without expecting them to spill to their best friends, so spill.”

“Fine, but I’m throwing you under the bus if he ever finds out. He said he likes guys and girls, although he didn’t really say it like that? He kinda said it like it didn’t matter if I was a guy or a girl? Is that the same thing? I don’t think-“

“Really? Derek?”

Stiles looked up to Allison, who was staring at her empty cup. “Derek really what?”

“I just never expected Derek to be that kind of guy?”

Stiles shrugged, “said it’s something that’s common in born were’s?”

“Wow. I never knew that.”

"And why would that even be in the hunters handbook for killing your local werewolves?”

“I swear I’m getting tired of throwing pillows at you, so just pretend I did.”

Stiles rolled off the couch, screaming dramatically as she clutched her face, “ah the pain, oh help me I’m _dying!_ ”

Allison’s cackles had Stiles soon gasping for breath, her arms wrapped around her waist as she laughed uncontrollably.

“Maybe Stiles should be there when you give birth,” Scott giggled, watching the two women wipe their eyes and try gain some composure.

“What, why?” Stiles wheezed out, moving to collapse on the couch.

“If you have Alli laughing like that while she is in labour, I’m sure I’d be holding my sons in no time.”

“Please, all things considered, I’m sure the last thing Stiles would want to see is-“

“I don’t mind.”

Both Scott and Alli turned their faces to Stiles, who had a slightly blush across her cheeks which had nothing to do with her laughter.

“Are you serious?”

Stiles nodded slowly at Allison “I mean if you wanted me there, I’d be there to support you. Regardless of what awfulness was happening to your,” she cleared her throat, “vagina.”

Scott scrunched his face up and Allison laughed, “so close Stiles, Lydia really thought she had trained you properly with our last chat.” She sobered a little, sitting a little more upright, “I never asked you to be part of my birth team because I thought you wouldn’t want to be involved, I’m so sorry.”

Stiles shrugged, “I understand, haven’t exactly taken swimmingly to being a woman, but I’ll always be there for you Alli.”

“Well then would you? Would you come and make me laugh while I most likely make thinly veiled threats about killing Scott?”

She laughed, and nodded, “I’d love to Alli, and if you like, I’ll also threaten Scott, so you don’t feel alone in your anger.”

Scott laughed, going to sit next to Stiles, “gee thanks, can’t wait for this to happen now.”

She poked him in the ribs for his attempt at sarcasm. “Seriously Scott, keep it up, and I’ll start a list for Alli to read in labour.”

“She’s probably doing that already.”

“Oh ha ha funny. Please can I have some ginger tea?” She smiled at Scott, and Stiles could see the exact moment he melted.

“Of course, I’ll go now quickly.” He left with a blissful smile on his face, and Alli had a similar smile as she watched him leave.

“You two are still so gross.”

“Which brings us to what you and Derek were getting up to on the bonnet of his car. Did you plan on just having sex out there?”

Stiles blushed furiously, “no, of course not!”

“Sure sounded like it was moving in that direction.”

“Ok, shut up, I get it.” She hid her face in her hands, “I’m gonna start buying you that damn ginger tea myself so you never ask Scott to leave.”

“OK, if you wanna play like that, I’ll just bring this up with him in the room.”

“Oh god ok fine, talk, comment, judge, get it all out your system before he gets back.”

“Can I ask a question?”

Stiles peeked at Allison through her fingers, before pulling her hands away from her face with a groan, “I’m not gonna like the question, am I?”

Alli shook her head, “probably not. Have you had sex?”

“Be more specific, when I was a guy or now as a woman?”

Alli raised her eyebrow.

“OK no,” she waited a beat, “for both.”

Allison opened her mouth to speak just as Scott came in, carrying two bottles of the ginger tea.

“That marks the end of this evenings services, thank you all for attending, I bid thee goodnight.” Stiles got up, pressed a kiss to Alli’s cheek, high fived a confused Scott, and darted out the door, jumping into the Jeep and starting off home. A few moments later her phone beeped with an incoming message.

From Alli:

        You know we are still gonna revisit this topic, don’t think you got away with it <3

She didn’t answer, instead focusing on getting home and spending a little quality time with her dad.

When she got home, however, the cruiser wasn’t in the driveway. She jumped out the Jeep, and headed inside, immediately going to the fridge to see the note her dad left. It read, ‘kiddo, might not be back tonight, hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow morning when I get back. Love you.’

She smiled and switched off the lights on her way upstairs to her room, deciding to grab a shower before bed. She rifled through her handbag, looking for her phone, when she felt the folded paper Vern had given her the day before. She pulled it out quickly and opened it up.

1: Try yoga, and feel how each muscle responds to each pose.  
2: Do something different with your hair, clothes or body, something for YOU. Don’t worry about what others might think.  
3: Have a massage and lose yourself in the feeling of your muscles relaxing and tensing.  
4: If you crave something, don’t give in immediately. Feel the craving, be fully present as you experience the way your body reacts.  
5: Explore your body, intimately.

Welp. Stiles couldn’t tear her eyes from the last point. Intimately? She mouthed the word and knew there was only one meaning. She sat back on the bed, still grasping onto the paper. She had never been opposed to a little self-loving before she had been cursed, but after? It had immediate kind of felt like she was trapped in a woman’s body, like she was just lending it from someone, and this was where majority of her insecurities came from. She had felt like anything inappropriate was just that, inappropriate, because what would the real owner do or say when they got this body back? She knew that wasn’t rational, she knew that this body _was_ hers, that it wouldn’t be returned to anyone if she ever removed the curse, but it was hard to get out of that negative loop. It had never felt like hers, but maybe it was because she never tried to fully own this variation of her body, the way she had owed her male body?

Her phone beeped again, pulling her out of her reverie, and she fished it from her bag, smiling as soon as she saw the recipient.

From Derek:      

        I’m glad you were there tonight

She sat back down, typing as she did.

From Stiles:

        How long did it take for you to actually send that?

From Stiles:       

        Also, I’m really glad you came, despite how nervous I was

From Derek:

        It might have taken me a while to actually get the balls to press send, but I won’t admit that in person. Why were you nervous?

From Stiles:

         Kind of expected you to have different answers I guess?

From Derek:

         And the answers I gave you? Were they ok?

From Stiles:

         Yeah, although I do feel like a bit of an idiot for not just speaking to you about it.

From Derek:

         You’ll do that next time though, right? Just speak to me?

She smiled, shutting her eyes tightly, he wanted this to be a maybe-long term thing?

From Stiles:

          Maybe


	9. Chapter 9

She had woken early when her dad was due home, and had just finished making French toast and bacon for the two of them when he came through the front door.

“Hey kiddo, what’s this all?”

“Hey dad,” she went over and hugged him, “just wanted to have breakfast with you. We have been missing each other a lot recently.”

“Well, if you came home more,” he poked her, and she laughed.

“Well maybe, but I’ve been with Alli and Scott.” She paused, chewing her lip for a second, “and Derek.”

Noah’s head shot up as he looked at her, “Derek Hale?”

She nodded, plating up the food and taking the coffee pot to the table.

“Anything I should know about?”

She shrugged, and concentrated on cutting a piece of her toast.

“Stiles?”

“Maybe, but he only just got back, he is building the house again.”

She had hoped she could distract him, but it didn’t work.

“Do you like him?”

She slumped in her seat, “dad, I don’t know. Maybe?”

He nodded, “well if it does turn into something, I’d like him to join us for dinner one evening.”

He gave no room for negotiations, and she nodded. “Also, I’m going to help Alli give birth.”

Predictably, that shocked him more than the possibility of her being in a relationship with Derek. “Really?”

She nodded and smiled, “yeah, she asked me last night.”

“Wow, that’s great. You know what’s going to happen, right?”

She laughed, “are you asking if I know how giving birth works, because if so, then yes dad I’m all up to speed.”

He nodded, putting his plate in the sink, and leaning down to peck her cheek. “Just checking kiddo. I have to go back to the station at 4, so I’m going to grab some sleep.”

“Sleep well dad.”

She finished her own breakfast and shoved the dishes in the dishwasher before she headed upstairs to do some work. She tried focussing but felt like the more she read this awful draft, the more she hated it and the writer. She knew it wasn’t fair, but this guy had made business start-ups even more boring. He was a new client, and had, according to himself, perfected the third draft, and just wanted Stiles to proofread and edit if there were any grammar or punctuation errors. So far, the only way she could fix this was by killing it with fire.

After what felt like days, she heard her dad’s alarm go off at 3pm, and she went to warm him some pasta from the freezer, making sure he ate before his shift.

“You staying in tonight?”

She nodded, “actually yes. Remember I told you Vern had given me homework? One of the things is to try yoga.”

“You?”

She laughed with him, before nodding. “Yeah, me. Derek actually knows yoga, so he is gonna pop over to teach me.”

He narrowed his eyes, and she swallowed. They stared at each other for a couple of moments before he stood, grabbing his keys, pointing at her with them. “No funny business, love you.”

With that he left, and she dropped her head onto the table with a thud. She pulled her phone out and called Alli, who answered quickly.

“Hey Stiles, how are you?”

“Uh,” she drew out her groan.

“And now?”

“Told my dad that Derek is coming over to do yoga, and he said no funny business.”

“Ok, one, yoga?” Stiles could practically hear her raising her eyebrows suggestively, “and two, did you _plan_ funny business?”

Stiles sat straight up quickly, “no Alli, god! But even if I had, I’m 20!”

“Which to you means nothing.”

“Ok screw you,” she laughed, “but it’s still awkward!”

“Hmmm maybe, what are you gonna wear?”

Stiles looked down at her clothes, frowning. “Um, tracksuit?”

Allison’s exasperated sigh told her she was wrong. “No Stiles, you can’t wear a tracksuit.”

“Why?”

“Yoga pants.”

Logically, Stiles knew Alli meant she should be wearing yoga pants, but her mind went to Derek in yoga pants, and she couldn’t help the giggles that erupted.

“Stiles, go put yoga pants on and get your mind out of the gutter!”

“Fine, fine,” she mumbled between giggles, and ran up the stairs to pull out a pair of black yoga pants that Lydia had declared she needed. Stiles hadn’t worn them yet but was surprised by how comfortable they were.

“Stiles?”

“Hmmm?”

“ _Are_ you planning funny business?”

She spluttered a little before she could get her response out, “no Alli, I’m not!”

“And birth control?”

Stiles fought the urge to shove her fingers in her ears and block out her voice with 'la la la's', “no Alli, not this, I’m not having this conversation.”

“Seriously Stiles, I’m not kidding. Are you on birth control?”

“You know, as a once-man, I totally get why women hate that birth control is forced on them. What about men, why don’t they get birth control?”

“Nice talk Stiles, stop digressing, if something were to happen, are you safe?”

“Alli,” she stopped, taking a breath, “no. I’m not. Deaton mentioned that we don’t know what effects anything hormonal would have on me, you know, when I’m a guy again. I decided that chances are, I wouldn’t need anything.”

“And then Derek happened.”

“Yeah, and then Derek happ-hey hang on, no, I never once said I was gonna sleep with him!”

“Stiles, you don’t have to say it. I see you undress him with your eyes every time you look at him.”

“Ok, so this has nothing to do with this conversation, but I have to go and pour bleach in my eyes, bye!” As she hung up she heard Alli laughing. She looked at the time, and saw she had 20 minutes before Derek was supposed to arrive, and went to veg on the couch in the meantime. She had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when someone knocked on the door.

She opened, her confusing turning to surprise, “you’re early, hi!”

He laughed, “yeah, I overestimated how long I’d be at the shop.”

She looked down and saw the couple bags by his feet, “uh, come in.” She pulled the mats from under his arms, threw them onto the floor in the lounge, and led him to the kitchen. “Why did you buy so much?”

She watched him unpack the bags, and helped him put things in the fridge. “I did say I’d organise dinner?”

“I thought you meant curly fries!”

He laughed, his eyes crinkling, “I would at least expect you to try eat healthily after doing yoga, Stiles.”

She pulled a face, “healthy?”

He laughed again, “yep.”

“Like what?”

“Red pepper.”

She felt her jaw drop, “is that it?”

“No,” he laughed again, “I wouldn’t only feed you a pepper.”

He grabbed the last container and headed off to the lounge and she followed, practically drooling when she saw him pick up the coffee table and move it to the left, leaving a large gap in the centre of the couches. He grabbed two yoga mats, and put them on the floor, before he sat down and gestured for her to join. As she sat down tentatively, he opened up the container, which was filled with sugar snap peas.

“And that?” He passed her the tub, his eyebrow raised.

“You can’t eat anything heavy before yoga. This is a snack. I did say I was-“

“Yeah yeah, arranging snacks, but this?” She held up a pod, “this is rabbit food.” He retaliated by chomping the pod from her fingers, and she pulled her hand away quickly. “Animal.”

He laughed, “just eat some, please.”

She did as told, crunching noisily to bug him, even if she was enjoying them.

“So, where did you learn yoga?”

He looked at her as he walked back from the kitchen, having placed the left overs in the fridge.

“Cora, actually.”

“Really?”

He sat down on the other mat, “yeah. My therapist also told me to try yoga.”

“Wow. Think they are telling us that exercise is good for you?”

He laughed again, leaning back, “Stiles, I _do_ exercise.” As he spoke, her eyes were drawn to his muscular arms, his tight shirt stretched across his shoulders and pecs.

“ _I_ don’t.”

“Well if you wan-“

“Wait I jump to conclusions, does that count?” She smiled at his unimpressed expression. “Well I also run from responsibilities.”

“Ok, wise ass, let’s start.”

“Oh boy.”

“Stand up, and copy me.”

She gulped, suddenly acutely aware that she had NO idea what she was doing, and that Derek looked really good in his tight shirt and tracksuit pants. She looked up and took in his peeved expression, and realised he had been talking to her.

Damnit.

“Yes?” She asked sheepishly, and he just laughed.

“Pay attention.”

She tried, desperately, but every time he turned around, her eyes were drawn to his back and his ass, both of which looked spectacular, and every time she got distracted, he would turn back to her and smirk, reminding her to copy his movements.

Eventually, after attempting warrior pose 3 times, Derek decided they should face the other way, and he would help her from behind. As she turned, she blushed, feeling like she was on show with her tight shirt and yoga pants. Derek cleared his throat behind her and she blushed, swallowing. “Right, um, so spread your legs,” he pushed his left foot against hers, urging it back more, and he gently placed his hands under her arms to lift them, “hold them horizontally, and keep them straight.” He moved now to her hips, twisting them slightly, and then slowly placed his hand over her stomach, “tense your muscles, and use that strength to keep your spine strong as you bend this knee.”

She felt him move away, and she held the pose, trying to keep balanced, until her head began to pound and she threw her arms out in front of her to steady against the couch.

“Stiles?” He rushed to her, helping her sit on the couch, worry creasing his brow.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she grumbled, feeling her cheeks heat. “Think I was so focussed on not falling over, I forgot to breath.”

“Ah shit, sorry, I should have reminded you about that.”

“Hey don’t do that.” She pushed him with her shoulder.

“Do what?”

“Feel guilty, it’s nothing.”

He chuckled, “ok, I won’t. Ready to continue?”

She shook her head, “I hate yoga.”

He laughed, the couch shuddering under them, “you haven’t done any yet.”

“Yeah, and just imagine how much I’ll hate it once I have? It’s so much better to give up while things are still positive.”

“No, get up, and keep trying.” She grumbled incoherently as he pulled her to her feet. “Ok, same pose, but remember to breath.”

“Yeah yeah,” she did as told, trying to control her smile.


	10. Chapter 10

When Derek had decided that Stiles’ shakes were real enough, he let her stay in a heap on the mat where she fell.

“How do you feel?” She could hear the smirk on his damn face, and the bastard didn’t sound anywhere as exhausted she felt.

“Like I’m never doing yoga again.”

“That sounds like a solid plan, except I think we should keep doing yoga together.”

She flicked her head up to look at him, “really?”

He shrugged, “why not? I actually enjoyed doing yoga with you. I understand if you really don’t want to do it again, so no pressure.” She watched as he rolled his mat, and then, with a naughty smile, pushed her of her mat before he rolled it up too.

“Um, ok?” She hated that she was even tentatively agreeing, but there been moments of fun, in between the moments of torture.

“Next time though, I think we should go to the Preserve.”

“Outside?”

“Yes, outside. It’s nice, I promise. Come,” he stood and held out his hands for her, and lifted her to her feet, “I’m making dinner now.”

“Oh god yes, I’m starving!” She rushed to the kitchen, but Derek caught her and held her back, “hey, I need to eat something, I’m starving.”

He smirked as he held her until they reached the fridge, and using his longer arms, grabbed the left-over sugar snaps and gave them to her, laughing at her disappointed expression.

“I don’t want rabbit food, Derek.”

He shrugged, pushing her onto a stool at the breakfast nook, “that’s all you are getting until dinner is finished.” With that he turned away and began pulling items from the fridge and cupboards.

“So bossy,” she spoke under her breath, before shoving a pod into her mouth unceremoniously.

“Heard that.”

“I meant for you to, ok?”

“How do you like your steak?”

Her eyes went wide as she looked at the porterhouse steaks in his hands, “oh my god is that real food?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “I do eat real food you know.”

“Well colour me surprised, I thought I was gonna have to eat cereal later.”

“Trust me, I’ll feed you enough.”

She smirked, and he blushed a little. “Well, I like my steak medium rare. More towards the rare side.”

Nodding, he grabbed a pan, “noted. Did you get any other homework?”

“Homework?” It took her a second to catch up, “oh, you mean from Vern.”

“Yes. Also, I've been wondering, what did you mean when you said she taught you how to move your arms and legs? Does she think you are a mental paraplegic?”

“I don’t think that’s a thing, firstly, and secondly, she pulled out this massive mirror, she is a werewolf, and then she made me look at myself and move my body so I saw that it was mine.”

His eyebrows raised as he was prepping a salad.

“Yep, anyway. So she did give me more, I think point 2 was to not feed my cravings? Wait.” With that, she raced up the stairs and grabbed the paper, covering the last point with her fingers, and took a photo with her phone, before going back to Derek. “So, point 2 was actually to do something different to my hair, clothes or body?” She looked up as he raised his brows again. “you know, sometimes you should use words instead of your eyebrows.”

“Fine,” he placed the knife he was using down on the counter, and looked at her, “I was wondering how you plan on doing something different with your body?”

She looked down, not entirely sure why was looking at her boobs, before she looked at him again, “a piercing.”

“You hate needles.”

“Oh yeah.”

He snorted, picking up the knife and continuing.

“Um, well let’s leave that one for now. Point 3 was to have a massage, which sounds _amazing_ after all that exercise today.”

He snorted again, before he began laughing properly, “you did yoga once, and it was the easy stuff.”

She shrugged, “so? I still want that massage,” she shook her phone in his direction, “my therapist demands I get the massage.”

“Fine,” he made eye contact with her, “let me pay for it.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because I’d like it if I knew I had treated you to a massage you apparently so badly need.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “fine, Mr Sarcastic, you pay!” Looking down, she read from the photo, “point 4 was to really experience a craving by not giving in immediately?” She looked up at him, to see him beginning to heat the pan for the steaks.

“So a food craving?”

She grunted in response.

“Any more points?”

She looked down at her dark screen and shook her head. “Nope.”

“Lie.”

She looked at his face quickly, one corner of her mouth curling in smile, “what?”

“That was a lie.” He looked so smug as he leaned against the counter, the steaks frying noisily behind him.

“Fine, maybe, but I’m not telling you.”

He smirked, walking over to her slowly, and he leaned down above her, caging her on the stool with his arms on the countertop behind her. “Bet I could get you to tell me.”

She swallowed, shaking her head, “nope.”

Nodding, he nosed down her neck slowly, grinning when he felt her head tilt to the side to give him better access. “Tell me Stiles, what’s point 5?”

She shook her head, her nails digging into her palms, “not happening Sourwolf.” She sounded breathless, and she knew Derek would hear that.

He leaned back quickly, his smirk definitely doing things to her it shouldn’t, “I’m only stopping because I can smell the steaks are done.”

She smiled back, “yeah, you keep telling yourself that. We both know it’s because you couldn’t crack this enigma!”

He raised his eyebrow as he walked back to the stove, pulling the steaks off and serving them. He grabbed both plates, and headed to the nook, sitting next to Stiles as she began eating food from the plate before he even put it down.

“Told you,” she mumbled between mouthfuls, “I’m starving and rabbit food wasn’t gonna cut it.”

He nodded, and began eating too, feeling prouder with each time she groaned in appreciation.

“Holy crap Derek you cook steak so well.” She shoved another piece in her mouth, and Derek smiled.

“I was raised by a man who loved to barbeque, so I learned from a young age how to grill properly.”

“And your mom?”

“She was ok at cooking, I can’t say she enjoyed it, but Peter used to be incredible in the kitchen.”

“Seriously? Peter?” She looked at him incredulously as she shoved more steak into her mouth.

“Yeah, he was a real family man before the house burnt down.”

She chewed in silence, trying to imagine where they all would be if the fire hadn’t happened.

He reached over and squeezed her knee, bringing her attention to him. “What’s on your mind? You smell sad?”

She shrugged, “just thinking of how different everything could have been.”

To her surprise, he smiled. “If they were all here, I think Laura would have made an incredible alpha, once my mom passed the power to her. My mom would have spent her days tending her garden, she loved Lisianthus, and had them growing all over the place. I think my dad would have continued to work as a lawyer,” the noise Stiles made silenced him, and he looked to her curious eyes.

“He was a lawyer?”

Derek nodded, “yes, he was a successful social security disability lawyer, and had made a lot of friends over the years. He was great at his job.” Derek went silent for a moment before continuing. “I think I’d have studied architecture.”

“Architecture?”

He nodded, looking at her before he grabbed the plates to clean up. “Yeah, I had been looking into universities, I thought it would have been really interesting.”

“Hell yes, you should do it!”

He looked at her like she was a little crazy, “maybe.”

After quickly cleaning the kitchen, they went to sit on the couch, and Stiles crawled under his arm, leaning against his side and resting her head on his shoulder. He pulled her close, before he pulled her up, and moved so he could lay across the sofa, moving Stiles so she slotted between him and the back of the sofa.

“Der?”

“Mhm?”

“What would you have done if I’d been a guy, when you came to Scott’s the other day?”

He lifted her head so he could see her face, and scrutinised it for a few seconds, “absolutely nothing different.”

She smacked his chest lightly, “seriously.”

He grabbed her waist, and turned them both, so he could lean over her, her back pushed down into the couch cushions. She spread her thighs, and he slotted between them, being careful not to push against her.

“I’d have spoken to you until you undoubtedly embarrassed yourself,” he kissed down her throat, “I’d have taken you for lunch the next time I saw you, “he licked the shell of her ear, smiling as he felt her shiver. “I’d have kissed you that day too,” He brought one hand up to gently caress up and down her side, over her shirt, “I’d have taken you to the Preserve the next day, spending an incredible evening making out with you under the stars.” He pulled her face down, smiling at her, her pupils wide.

“What would making out feel like?” She whispered, pulling her lip in between her teeth.

He wasted no time in connecting their lips, sucking down her moan as he licked into her mouth, his hand cupping behind her head and pulling her ever closer. She wound her fingers in his shirt, lifting one leg to wrap around him, trying to drag him down to her.

“Wait, Stiles,” he panted against her lips, relishing that she whined when he stopped.

“What, why are we stopping?” She was still trying to pull him down with her leg, and he reached behind him to grab her leg, to stop her.

“I don’t want to rush.”

“You were just licking my tonsils.”

He laughed, “wow, such a wordsmith, that was eloquent.”

“Shut up,” she giggled, “you started it though.”

“I did, and I was enjoying myself.”

“Hmmm?” She raised an eyebrow.

“What, you think I wasn’t?” He suddenly pushed his hips towards her, and she moaned at the unexpected pressure against her core. She could feel he was hard, and it made her want him all the more.

“Fuck, Derek, I need-“

“Shhh,” he pressed his lips against hers as he pulled his lower body away from hers, before moving so he was sitting next to her, with her legs over his lap. “We can take our time.” He slowly drew patterns across her legs, and she tried hard to calm her heart.

“Der?”

“Yeah?” He looked over to her, smiling when she looked into his eyes.

“You’re fucking awful.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's short, and a couple hours late, but I hope you enjoy!

Derek made a point of leaving shortly after, even amid Stiles’ whining and griping.

“You literally came here, tortured me, and now you are leaving?”

“I also fed you.”

“Yeah, and you also made me do yoga.”

“Har har,” he tried to not smile at her, but only failed a little. “just let me go, woman, and I’ll see you soon?”

She smiled at him, timidly wrapping her arms around his waist, before she lowered her head to his chest, hiding her face as she felt his arms tighten around her.

“You know you can always hug me, you know. Don’t have to be shy about it.” He murmured against her hair.

Shrugging, she pulled her face away to look up at him, “this is still really new, I’m not exactly used to being this close.”

He nodded, and pressed his lips against hers, “well we’ll work on that, ok?” He kissed her once more, her fingers winding in his hair. She pulled herself closer, moaning when his arms tightened against her, before gently pushing her off, “ok, I’m gonna go before we get distracted.”

“Ah no, I like distracted,” she pouted at him, making him laugh.

He ran a finger down her bottom lip, “you know just as well as I do that we should take this slowly.”

“Nah,” she lisped out, “I dun’t think that.”

“You do,” he kissed her once more and opened the door, throwing her a dazzling smile before he shut the door.

“You suck Hale!”

She heard him laughing through the door, and moments later heard the Camaro roar to life, before he left with tyres squealing.

Taking a deep breath, she looked around the kitchen, not sure what to do with herself for the next few hours before her dad got home. Without deciding, her feet began moving and she sauntered up the stairs, her eyes zeroing in on the homework on her bed. Point 5. She bit her bottom lip as she picked it up again, rereading the word. Intimately. She grabbed her phone and dialled the first person she needed to talk to.

“Hey Alli!”

“Hey Stiles, how did yoga go?”

“OK, stop with the eye movements I can hear through the phone. I might need advice.”

“Oh, ok, what’s up?” Alli immediate went from horny friend to helping friend, and Stiles almost laughed, knowing what she was about to ask, and what can of worms she was going to open up.

“Uh, I have another point for homework I didn’t tell you about.” Wow she was regretting this fast.

“Ok, I’m guessing it’s something you find embarrassing, or you would have started with it.”

“Yeah,” she trailed off, biting her nails.

“Want me to guess?”

Stiles could kiss Allison sometimes. “Maybe?”

“Ok, it has to do with you being a woman?”

“Yes.”

“Um. Wow I have no idea what to ask, uh, do you-“

“Intimately.” The world shot out her mouth before she could cage it behind her teeth.

“Oh. Intimately huh? I’m sure she wouldn’t suggest you start sleeping with people, so, get intimate with yourself?”

Stiles groaned loudly, and Allison’s laugh brought her to attention. “God don’t start just yet Stiles!”

“Ah gees Alli, I’m not!” She giggled with Alli, and felt the load lighten a little. “But, I mean I’ve never,” she trailed off again, her cheeks heating.

“Seriously? You? Stiles? Who used to constantly go on about playing with yourself?”

“Nice, thanks. But yeah, I guess?” She fiddled with her shirt hem, grimacing, “I mean I don’t know, it’s kind of different. I was a guy then, kinda used to the equipment I had then.”

“Stiles. What if I said its science?”

That had her attention quickly, “huh?”

“Yeah, science. You can do an experiment and settle the age-old argument of whether male or female orgasms are better.”

“Firstly, age old? I don’t think that’s the age-old argument. Secondly?” She hesitated, “screw you woman, now I feel the need to think of it like I’m contributing to science!”

“Yay! So go!”

“No, but Alli, I-”

“Stiles. Just try, you’ll know what’s right. Come over later, do your experimenting first.”

She put the phone down then, and left Stiles staring at the wall with the phone against her ear for several moments.

Slowly, she lowered the phone, and looked between her bed and the piece of paper, before she crumpled the paper, throwing it over her shoulder, and slowly climbed up the bed, leaning back against her pillows until she was comfortable.

She released a shaky breath, feeling massively nervous about this whole thing. She looked down at her body, not sure how to start. She decided to just grab the bull by the horns, and quickly shed her clothes, before settling back on the pillows, looking down at herself. She fiddled with her fingers, biting her lip, before her phone rang, making her almost jump out her skin. She grabbed it quickly, answering with a shy smile.

“Hey you.”

His deep laugh made her relax a little, “hey yourself.”

“So you missed me already?”

“Yes, your incredible banter is a wonderful thing.”

“Talk such crap sometimes.”

“Why do you sound so weird?”

“Hmmm? Me?”

“Yes, you. You have me worried, what’s wrong?”

She groaned, “can’t say?”

“Are you asking me if you can’t say it?”

“No, I am literally unable to verbalise.”

“Hmmm. You sounded this nervous when you lied about there being no point 5.”

She said nothing for a while, and cringed when he clicked. “Wait, this is about point 5, isn’t it?”

She said nothing again.

“Stiles? Are you ok?”

“I don’t know.”

“Wanna tell me what it is?”

She paused, before she darted up to grab the paper, snapped a picture of the points, and forwarded it to Derek before she could think too much. She waited while he read the message, settling back on the bed.

“Wow. Not sure what I should say.”

“See? It’s so awkward.”

He hesitated a moment, “have you?”

“Have I? As in have I ever? No. Big no, capital letters no.”

“Can I ask why?”

“I feel like I keep saying the same thing, but I don’t feel like this is my body, remember?”

“But Vern must think this could help.”

“You seem to be on her side.”

“I don’t think it could hurt.”

She bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

“Stiles?”

“Hmmm?”

He cleared his throat, “um, do you wanna try?”

“Try? Try what? Also, this seems like a crazy conversation to be having, considering you wanted to play the gentleman and take things slow earlier.”

“Your therapist thinks it could help, I want to help in any way I can. Also, I do want to take things slow. I told you, you are different.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course.”

“You sound so much more sure about this than I am.” She trailed off to an almost whisper, her heart beating through her chest.

“So then listen to me, and let me help. Are you laying down?”

She nodded, before she realised he couldn’t see her. “Yeah.”

“Good,” his voice dropped, and she relaxed into the pillows, taking a deep breath. “Just do what I tell you, pretend your hands are mine.”

 

When she woke up, she came to slowly, smiling before she even remembered why.

She felt around the bedding, patting for her phone before she found it under her pillow. She unlocked the screen, and her heart began beating in her throat as she opened the last message from Derek.

        I’m not going to lie, hearing you moaning is probably one of my favourite sounds baby. Call me later xx

She called him immediately, pulling her duvet over her.

“Hey,”

Jesus his voice sounded eve better in her post orgasmic haze.

“Hey Der, um, hi.”

“How do you feel?” She could hear his smirk, and she knew that he knew exactly how she was feeling.

“Eh, I feel ok.”

She almost laughed as he spluttered, before he realised she was lying.

“I feel really good, Der. Thank you.” She whispered, blush settling on her cheeks.

“Hmmm I’m glad.”

“So, did I fall asleep on the phone with you?”

He laughed, “not so much, I could hear you were close though, so we said bye before you apparently passed out.”

“OK, stop sounding so smug!”

He laughed, “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m gonna go, but I’ll speak to you later, ok?”

 

She grabbed clothes and hopped in the shower, getting ready for the visit Alli had so determinedly demanded. She stood under the spray, washing her hair and relishing in how relaxed she felt. As she turned her face to the water, she let her mind wander, almost immediately her eyes snapped open.

“Four blind eyes. Maybe it’s not dead eyes.” She jumped out the shower, calling Derek and asking him to meet her at the McCall’s residence, before she practically threw her clothes on and jumped into the Jeep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping my timing will be back to normal tomorrow, I had a terrible migraine that kinda set me back, so no promises that this chapter is perfect!  
> I hope you enjoy!

She paced, her heart beating erratically.

“Guys, maybe the 4 blind eyes are _in_ two people? What if that’s what I missed?”

Lydia looked up, a perfect eyebrow arched, “what is your plan after you find 2 blind people? Pull out their eyes?”

“Well I haven’t gotten that far yet, but can’t we call Deucalion? Ask if he knows another blind person?”

“Stiles,” Lydia sighed exasperatedly, “you still need a few more steps to this plan before we do anything.”

“Also, we aren’t calling Deucalion.”

Stiles’ head snapped to Derek, “excuse me?”

“You aren’t asking him for help. He is a psycho, who knows what he will want in return.”

“Um, you know, maybe calling you guys was the wrong idea.” Stiles went to grab her bag as Derek stood up to gently grab her forearm.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She looked up to him, her forehead creased. “This doesn’t concern you,” she looked around the room, “any of you. Maybe I should do this on my own.”

“Stiles-“

“No Alli, I’m serious, maybe I just need to figure it out myself.” She walked towards the door, but Derek stopped her before she could reach out for the handle.

“I’m not letting you do this.”

“You don’t have a choice.” She reached up, running her fingertips down his bearded cheek before she opened the door and left.

Derek wasted no time in pulling his phone out and dialing a number, holding a finger up when the others asked what he was doing. “Peter, I need your help. When can you be back?”

The others looked at each other as Derek finished up with Peter, nerves and emotions high.

“Peter will be here tonight, he will help with Stiles.”

“Peter? We are trusting Peter to look out for Stiles?”

Derek nodded, opening the door. “I know what I’m doing, now I just need to get Stiles to waste a day with me. Look into old books, maybe Stiles is right.” With that he left, driving quickly to the Stilinski household, relieved to see Stiles’ Jeep outside still. He walked to the door, knocking loudly, and smiled when he heard Stiles drop something in fright.

“Der? Why are you here?”

He shrugged, “how can I help?”

She smiled, shaking her head, “no, I don’t-“

“Please let me help.”

She regarded him for a moment before she stepped back and let him follow her inside to the kitchen, where she had laid out numerous papers on the counters.

“So, this is all my research. It all sucks, because hello, still a woman, but I figure there has to be something.

He walked over to a paper he recognized, reading the last words of the witch out loud, “When four eyes are blind, an organ crushed and hard to swallow, two shall find it all be hollow.” He laid it down, leaning against the counter on his elbows as he reread the words. He wouldn’t admit to Stiles, or anyone, that he knew these words by heart, probably as well as Stiles herself.

“What if we do need two blind people?”

He looked at her, raising his eyebrows, “then what?” He grabbed a paper from the blank pile, and a pen, before sitting at the breakfast nook, and began writing the words he spoke to her, “two blind people, an organ? What’s hard to swallow? And what’s hollow?” He looked at her, her nail between her teeth as she stared outside at the setting sun.

“What if she wasn’t dead, what would she do?”

Derek furrowed his brow, “what do you mean?”

“Well we never saw her body, right? Well, we did after we thought she died, but then her body began spontaneously burning, what if she is alive? What if somehow she is still out there?”

He followed her line of sight into the treeline close to the house, before standing quickly and grabbing her hand, “what are we doing?”

He grabbed her keys and locked up behind them, “lets go look. I remember where her cottage was, let’s see what’s there.”

She stopped, her shoulders falling, “Derek, we can’t find it anymore. We looked, multiple times, after you left. It’s gone.”

He smirked, “maybe I’ll be a better guide.” He loped off towards the treeline, and Stiles followed after a beat, shaking her head. As she got into the treeline, she searched for him but saw no movement.

“Derek?” She waited, hearing nothing, walking a few steps into the slowly impeding darkness, “Der?” She felt something cold press against the back of her knee, and she almost fell over in her shock, a scream catching in her throat. She turned quickly, eyes roaming the big black beast in front f of her, his red eyes shining out to her. “Der?” She raised a hand slowly to him, and he butted his head against it, making her relax and take a breath, “goddammit you scared the life out of me.” She moved closer, her fingers winding in his long fur, “I forgot how big you are,” she whispered to him, her other hand moving to also delve into the soft, dense fur. He looked at her over his shoulder before he began walking away slowly. “Ok, following the big bad wolf now,” she giggled, and she swore she saw him roll his eyes.

They walked together, with Derek slightly in front, for what felt like an eternity to Stiles. She tripped over so many logs, roots and rocks and once tripped into a small ditch. Derek would always stop, and check her, before he continued to guide her, stopping every now and then to scent the air or the ground or twitch his ears if he heard something in the distance. She had almost given up hope of ever finding her way of the woods in general, when the cottages’ outline became visible in the darkness.

 She almost cried out in joy before Derek pounced on her, shifting as he went, until he landed on top of her, his hand over her mouth as she recoiled from the wet dirt she was laying against.

“Shhh, someone is in there.”

Her eyes went wide, and she began shaking her head back and forth quickly to dislodge his hand. “Is it her?” She whispered back, her hands gripping onto his biceps as he looked toward the cottage, eyes narrowed. She waited as he listened, sniffing every few seconds. She mindlessly drew circles on his arms, until she realized why she had so much access to his arms. No shirt. She looked down their bodies quickly and had to stifle a laugh as Derek glared at her.

“What?”

She covered her mouth again as she almost laughed, before she gained some control, “you’re naked.”

His expression didn’t change, “I think I know that.”

She giggled again, “maybe you should get off me then, huh?”

His eyebrow raised as he smirked at her, “really? You want me to stand up when you can’t stop yourself from laughing that I'm naked?”

She laughed again before his hand shot over her mouth, silencing her. She pushed at his hand eventually, “I’m not laughing _at_ you, I’m laughing at the fact that we are _finally_ at the cottage, literally after years of searching, and you are naked. Is that how you plan on getting her to help?”

He growled at her and she bit her lip, trying to control her smile.

He got up slowly, helping Stiles to her feet. For a good, long moment, she managed to keep her eyes glued to his face, to that damned knowing smirk, before he turned around, looking towards the cottage. She took the second to glance down at his ass, and immediately knew she was royally screwed.

He looked at her over his shoulder, before he turned to her, “enjoying the view?”

“Nope, no, your ass is terrible. I hate looking at it. Turn around again.”

He laughed quietly and did as told, and Stiles didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was staring now. When he turned back to her quickly, she had no time to react, and he laughed as she coughed and turned quickly, her cheeks burning. “Let’s go back.”

That had her spinning around to look at him, at his face this time. “What? Aren’t we going in? Literally,” she pointed over his shoulder, “right here already. Why are we leaving?”

“We need backup. I need pants.”

She looked down at his dick again, nodding. “Yes. Pants. Maybe a good idea.”

“Stiles?” She flicked her head up to look at him, “my eyes are up here.”

She reached out and slapped his bicep, “screw you.”

He laughed again as he began walking away letting Stiles enjoy the view of his ass before he shifted suddenly and trotted back to Stiles as she clucked her tongue. “Yeah, super impressive.” She rolled her eyes, and he took the moment to dart behind her and between her legs, huffing as she screeched and gripped his neck as he took off running. It didn’t take long for her to release his neck and sat a little straighter, her laugh echoing around the forest as he raced home.

When they got back to the tree line, Derek slowed to a stop, and Stiles climbed off. With the sickening noise of crunching, grating bones, he shifted in front of her and grabbed his clothes from where he had stashed them in a tree.

“It’s been an exciting day,” Stiles smirked at Derek, who had just pulled his jeans on. Leaving them unbuttoned, he stalked over to Stiles, making her walk backward until she was pressed with her back against a tree.

He crowded over her, caging her in with his arms, and lowered his head so he could whisper to her ear, his lips brushing her ear, “exciting how?”

“Yoga,” she whispered, tilting her head, hoping he’d kiss her neck.

“Is that all?” He murmured against her skin, making her shiver.

“Multiple orgasms.”

“Mmm yeah that was pretty nice,” he pressed the length of his body against hers, and she moaned, wrapping hr arms around his neck, pulling his head to hers to set a fiery kiss to his lips.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, census time!  
> When the sex does happen (no hint as to when though), do you want it in detail, or do you prefer the "closed door" way things are happening now?

“I’m still not sure why you keep wanting to wait.”

“For?” He looked over to her as they walked back to her house, hand in hand.

She gestured between them with her free hand, “me and you, Sourwolf.”

He raised an eyebrow, stopping. “Would you prefer if I just jumped your bones?”

She shrugged, “right now? Yes. You get me all worked up, like back at that damn tree, and then you leave me hanging.”

Laughing, he pulled her close, pressing his lips to her hair. “Trust me, I’d rather wait. Please?”

She groaned, wrapping her arms around his chest, burrowing her face into his shoulder. “Fine,” she grumbled against his shirt and smiled when he chuckled.

“Stiles, you forget you aren’t the only one who wants it. Now come on,” he pulled away, and grabbed her hand again before opening the back door, and stopped short.

“Der? What’s wrong?” She tried looking over his shoulder but couldn’t.

“Derek, good to see you son.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stilinski. How are you?”

“Fine fine, now why don’t you come on it, I don’t think Stiles will appreciate standing in the doorway all night.”

“No, I will not.” She piped up and smiled as Derek walked into the kitchen, and she walked to her dad, hugging him. “Hi dad, how’s everything going around town?”

He lowered his brow, “why?”

“You know,” she spoke to him while filling the kettle, “sometimes I do ask you things without there being an ulterior motive.”

He hummed, sitting down at the breakfast nook. “Sit, Derek, please.”

Derek hesitantly did as told, and Stiles had to bite her lip to not laugh, which only got harder when he shot her a scalding look.

“So, I hear you are rebuilding?”

“Yes sir, it’s coming along well, I have the foundation set, and I started the brickwork a couple days ago.”

“Wow, are you building by yourself?”

Stiles smiled, knowing that the Sherriff already knew the answer just from his tone.

“Yes, I figure I have nothing else to do, I might as well do most of the work myself. Also, I am stronger than your average man, so I can do more.” he shrugged, a slight red tinge settling on his cheeks.

“Well I think that’s great, it will be nice to see the house once it’s all up. The old house was always a great looking place.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Please, call me Noah. Are you dating Stiles?”

“Wha- dad, you can’t just segue like that! That didn’t even make sense!”

“Stiles,” he shot her a look and she decided he needed no sugar in his coffee for that.

“Um, we haven’t really discussed that, but,” he trailed off, looking at Stiles.

“But?”

Stiles and Derek looked at each other for a few seconds, a smile blossoming on their faces. “Yeah, I’d like to think we are dating.” Her smile grew exponentially, and she nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, dad this is my boyfriend, Derek Hale.” She sniggered as she sauntered over to him, looping an arm around his shoulders, his arm circling her waist as Noah watched.

“I can’t say I’m surprised, but what happens with the curse?”

Derek looked to the Sheriff, a serious air settling around the table. “I don’t care, cursed or not, I’m dating Stiles. Not your son, or your daughter.”

A smile tempted on Noah’s lips, and his eyes grew tender, “thanks, son.” He stood up, clapping Derek on the shoulder, “I’m off to bed. Have an early start tomorrow, we are training the new recruits. Good night.” He kissed Stiles’ forehead as he walked past, heading up the stairs.

“Night dad.”

They waited for a few seconds, listening for the door to his room shut before he looked up at Stiles, who smiled at him. “Well, that went well.”

He nodded, his other arm going to her waist, and pulling her down to sit on his lap, her knees on either side of his hips. “Yes, it did.”

“You have to come for dinner apparently.”

His brow quirked, “when did he say that?”

“A couple days ago, he said if we were to start dating, you have to come for dinner.”

She waited, nipping her lip, until he kissed her quickly, getting her to release her lip.

“I’d love to come for dinner, but I don’t want any of that tofu crap you feed your dad.”

“Uh rude,” she gently slapped his shoulder “that tofu crap is gonna keep him healthy.”

He nodded, a playful glint to his eye, “yes, nothing like a hearty tofu steak after a hard day of defending the town.”

“Ok, shut up now Derek,” she took matters into her own hands as she lowered her face to his, crushing their lips together. His tongue urged its way into her mouth, and she moaned, her fingers winding in his hair until he pulled back slightly. “Ah Der, seriously? Every time?” She groaned as she stood up, walking to the sink, taking a deep breath.

“Stiles, I need you to think about it first. We need to talk about it. I won’t, I can’t just have sex with you, we need to talk first.”

“About what?” She wasn’t sure why she was angry, expect that she felt rejected, and that rejection kept getting worse each time he pulled away.

He pulled her close, enough that he could hug her, but close enough that she could look at him. “fine, let’s do it now. What will we do about birth control? We don’t know if you can fall pregnant, but chances are, you can. Then, will you feel comfortable? You told you don’t feel entirely at one with this version of your body, how will you feel if we have sex? I want you to enjoy it, not just enjoy the start, and then regret going through with it.”

She looked at him, her lips apart. She hadn’t thought about that last part entirely. She looked away, furrowing her brow. She definitely felt turned on when things got carried away, but she was barely comfortable with touching herself, what if Derek was to try? Would she still be turned on? Would she have to force herself to relax, or would she legitimacy enjoy herself?

“Stiles, I want it, I want _you._ But I’ll wait, hell I’ll wait for years if you told me to. I just want you to want it as much as I do.”

She nodded, swallowing as she looked back at him. “Thanks, Der.” She put her head on his chest and felt his arms tighten around her.

“God, I leave for a couple months, and the absolute unexpected happens?”

They both looked up to the open window, seeing Peter’s smug face staring at them.

“Uh, Peter, I hate to inform you of how time works for us humans, but it’s been years. Also, why are you creeping and watching us?”

“Hello to you too, Stiles my dear. And Derek, I wasn’t expecting this to be the reason you needed me back so soon.”

Derek let go of Stiles and walked to the back door, unlocking it and letting the older werewolf inside. “We actually need your help. Stiles was thinking of another possible cure, I had hoped you’d help us out.”

He nodded, sitting down. “Do tell.”

Stiles sat quickly, grabbing her papers from inside the drawer she had emptied earlier that day so she’d have her papers at hand for times like this, “what if the eyes aren’t dead like we did use blind eyes, but obviously, the bodies were dead, right? What if we need living people?”

His eyebrows went up, “I’m curious as to what happens when you have two living blind people.”

Her shoulder sagged, “well, I don’t know that part. I was only thinking of alternatives,” she grabbed the paper Derek had written on, “also, what is hollow?”

“A tree? A can? Your head?”

Derek huffed out a laugh as Stiles swiped out at Peter, missing him as he moved back smugly. “Listen here, be nice or I’ll make you wolfsbane infused coffee.”

He tapped his nose, “I’d smell it, sweetheart.”

“Not the way I make it.” She spoke so seriously, that Derek and Peter shared a glance.

“Fine, I’ll help. Let me see what I can find.” He stood up, taking the paper Derek had written, and went to the door, “by the way, congratulations on your new relationship.”

“Huh? How did you know?”

“I was outside for a while, Stiles.”

“Uh, creepy.”

“No, we’ll call it being observational.” He winked at her as he left and closed the door behind him.

“Did anyone ever tell you that your uncle is still a creep?”

“I frequently tell him myself.”

She laughed, “let's go watch some TV?”

He shook his head, “you dad is asleep, let’s go to the Preserve. I want to show you the house.”

“Ok, let me grab a hoodie.” She ran up the stairs, grabbing her favorite red hoodie with a smile before she went back down to see Derek waiting by the open front door.

“We’ll go in the Jeep if you don’t mind?”

She nodded, grabbing her key and throwing it at Derek who looked surprised.  She shrugged, “I don’t want drive. And you need to feel what a real car feels like.”

Derek laughed, guiding her out the door, and watching as she locked up.

“Yes, Roscoe is a prime specimen.”

She smiled, “exactly, I’m glad you see it now!”

They climbed into the Jeep, and Derek had them in the Preserve in no time, standing near the house.

“I can’t believe you have started building walls already.” She walked along the foundation, and he followed.

“So, this will be the lounge,” he moved around to show her where the door would be, and the wall. “Stairs over there, kitchen on the other side.”

She nodded, “and a guest bathroom?”

He shook his head, “that’s all upstairs.”

“Well, you better only finish this house after Alli gives birth, or she will probably kill you. Or make threats about it, at the least.”

“I don’t think I’ll have the house done in 2 months, but I’m glad you think I will.”

“I’m sure a little building like this won’t take you that long,” she smirked as she wrapped her arms around him, reaching up onto her toes to press a kiss to his jaw.

“No, absolutely, I’ll have it all done tomorrow.”

“Fantastic.” She looked up to the sky, letting Derek hold her as she leaned back. The sky was perfectly illuminated by stars; the lights of the town too far away to impede their shine.

“I meant what I said to your dad,” she looked at him quizzically, “I don’t care if we get rid of the curse or not. I will still want you.”

She smiled at him, tightening her arms around his neck and standing on her toes, hesitating slightly. “I appreciate that.”

“You sound conflicted?”

She shrugged, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. “I don’t know, guess I worry that you will leave, if I turned back,” he shook his head, but she continued, “and maybe, what with recent events, I don’t think it will be that bad.”

“What do you mean?”

She smiled, and moved closer to him, “let’s just say, phone sex with you is hot, but being able to come more than once? I _really_ enjoyed that.”

“Wow,” he laughed, “is that all you think of? Multiple orgasms?”

She nodded shrugging, “it’s a pretty big thing Der, and it is very _very_ new to me.”

He tilted her head back, and placed kisses to the soft flesh, making her shudder, “maybe I should drop you off at home, and I’ll call you later.”

“Oh my god yes,” she grabbed his hand and ran to the car, smiling as he laughed the entire way.


	14. Chapter 14

After dropping Stiles off at home, Derek had asked if he could drive her Jeep home, leaving her with the Camaro.

“So, are you planning a murder?”

He looked at her, smiling, “what makes you think that?”

She shrugged, “you took me to the preserve twice, now you are swapping cars with me.”

He looked around quickly, moving closer to her, before he leaned close to whisper in her ear, “maybe.”

She looked up at him cheekily, “oh do tell.”

He checked around them, one more time, before he continued, “I’m putting a man called Roscoe out of his misery.” He laughed when she hit him on the arm, “no, I’m not killing Roscoe, I’m not killing anyone. Your Jeep just makes it into the Preserve better than the Camaro, and until the new driveway is laid, I don’t want to fuck up my suspension.”

“Oh but you can fuck up mine?”

He looked at her and wordlessly pushed against the Jeep, and she watched with a deepening blush as it wobbled from side to side, bouncing ever so slightly.

“Stiles, _Roscoe_ has no suspension anymore. The fact that it still moves is a miracle in itself.” She grumbled at him, and he kissed her cheek before hopping into the Jeep, taking off as fast as the chunk of metal could do.

“Be nice Derek!”

She knew he would have heard, and shook her head as she walked inside. Her father was working late again, so she had the night to herself, which shouldn’t have filled her with such boredom so quickly.

She grabbed her phone, and called Deaton, pulling faces at herself in the mirror as she listened to the ring.

“Deaton speaking, hello.”

“Hey Deaton, it's Stiles.”

“Stiles, good to hear from you, is this a pleasant phone call, or are my serviced needed?”

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’, “just wanted to see if I could pop past, I have a couple new thoughts about the curse.”

He hesitated for a moment, “sure, I’m at the clinic.” With that, he put the phone down, leaving Stiles staring at her phone.

“Well, I’ll see you soon Dr. Doom.” She grabbed Derek’s keys and tried to control the massive smile she had when she realized she could drive it. “I’m gonna drive so fast,” she practically ran out the door, and into the Camaro, groaning as she revved it. She pulled away from the house, squealing as the tires squealed, her smile simply growing.

“I need a Camaro!” She yelled at no one, and took off down the road, slowing at a stop sign before taking off again. The flashing blue lights behind her made her groan, and she pulled over. She looked out the side mirror as the deputy climbed out the cruiser, and wanted to hit her head against the steering wheel when 8it was actually the Sheriff who had pulled her over. He knocked on the window, and she lowered it.

“Dere-Stiles?” Her dad bent over to get a better look at her, and she smiled guiltily.

“Hey, Daddio!”

“Why are you in Derek’s car? He looked around the interior, “where is Derek?”

“Derek has my car.”

“And you have his?”

She looked around, “seems like it.”

“Stop being a smart ass. Want to tell me why you didn’t stop at the sign?”

She looked at the steering wheel, before looking back up at him, “it’s a Camaro?”

He groaned, rubbing his face “I know it’s a Camaro, Stiles. I know its Derek’s, seeing as there is only this one in town. I still want to know _why_ you didn’t stop.”

“Maybe got a bit carried away with how fun it is to drive?”

He sighed, “kiddo, you are killing me here, do you know this? Never mind food being the downfall to my health, it’s _you._ Don’t look at me like that, you are making me old. I’m in half a mind to give you a ticket.”

She nodded, “sure, I understand. It is my fault. I should have stopped.”

He eyed her warily, before slowly getting his ticket book out, “I still have to ask you the standard questions, so you can’t turn around and use the fact that I’m your father against me, ok?” She nodded. “Great, what’s your name?”

“Derek Hale.”

His shoulders fell, and he stood up, walking away to the cruiser before he drove away leaving Stiles giggling to herself, pulling away a little slower.

When she arrived at the clinic, she walked through to the back, knowing the clinic was closed anyway.

“Ms. Stilinski, come in.” He opened the door and led her inside, to one of the exam rooms. “How can I help you?”

“So, I was thinking, may-“

“We aren’t getting any blind people involved until you have at least a second step.”

She turned quickly, narrowing her eyes at Peter who was standing in the corner.

“So I see Deaton has been training you to use a naughty corner. Pretty sure you can’t talk from it, so shut it and turn around.” She looked back at Deaton, opening her mouth when Peter’s hand gripped her shoulder, startling her.

“Stiles, my dear, we need a second step. We need an idea about anything.”

They both looked at her expectantly, “well, how am I supposed to know?”

“You seem to want to think of every plan, why not this one too?”

“Shut up Peter.”

“He has a point, Stiles.”

“Shut up Deaton.” She grabbed the car key, wanting to leave, but also not wanting to go before Deaton had given her his views. “Fine, what then?”

Deaton walked over to a leather-bound book, and brought it to Stiles, handing it to her carefully. “Read this, see what you think.” She read the cover, ‘Spells and Curses for the Modern Man’.

“Modern man?” She looked from Deaton to Peter, to the book. “But she wasn’t a man?”

“You were.”

Oh. “Would the really have named it after the people you are cursing?”

Deaton spoke up, rearranging his vials of supernatural ingredients as he went, “the curse she put on you is very specific, I believe it might be a gender-specific curse book.”

“But you haven’t read it?”

He shook his head, “I’m not a witch.”

“Uh, neither am I!”

Deaton and Peter shared a look before Peter sighed, “Stiles, I’m a werewolf. And a beta at that. Talia owned that book, she could read it because she was a born Alpha. Deaton can’t read it.”

She narrowed her eyes, “because he is a druid?”

“How did you know?”

She shrugged, “I know everything.” With that, she grabbed her car key again and left, carrying the book.

She had almost made it back to the back door when she turned suddenly, “we found the cottage! I forgot to tell you!” Deaton’s flicked to hers, and Peter looked truly uninterested.

“How? You said you had looked before?”

She shrugged, “Derek took me earlier, and he said there was someone inside.”

“Stiles, do not go alone, do you understand?”

She smirked at the vet, and saluted him, “yes sir.” She got into the Camaro, and drove off, leaving Deaton and Peter together.

“Peter, Derek said you had to keep an eye out for Stiles.  Make sure she doesn’t go out alone to the cottage.”

“Fantastic, I get to babysit. Just what I always wanted.” He began running after Stiles, following her home in the shadows.

Parking the Camaro, and heading inside, Stiles began to plan her evening.

“Shower, PJs, coffee and a good book.” She looked at the book, “please be a good book,” she begged, before locking the front door behind her. She sauntered up the stairs, dumping the book on her bed before she walked to the bathroom, stripping off and starting her shower. Just as she was about to get under the water, her phone rang, and she left the shower running to see who it was, smiling when Derek’s name lit up her screen.

“Well hi, stranger.”

“Stiles, I just heard from the Sheriff that you tried to get a ticket in my name.”

She spluttered, quickly running to turn the shower off, “well, no, because he is my dad, and he knows my name?”

Derek laughed, settling her nerves. “Relax, he and I had a laugh over it, still an awkward conversation though. He seems to think you were driving recklessly.”

She bit her bottom lip, scrunching her eyes shut to not laugh, “what? Me? That’s crazy.”

“Hmmm. That’s what I thought. So, what are you doing?”

“I was just about to shower and then read a book, why?”

He was quiet for a second, “I thought you wanted phone sex?”

“Oh! Oh yeah. Well,” she dropped her voice to a husky whisper, “I was about to take a shower. Naked.”

He laughed the moment she finished talking and didn’t stop for what felt like ages.

“Hey, shut up rude, you did most of the talking last time, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He laughed again, “well I’ll give you an A for Effort. Or is it A for abysmal? Not sure.”

“Hey, it's an A, I’ll take it!”

She bounced back onto her bed, smiling at her ceiling.

“Can I take a rain check on this?” She felt bad asking, but really her mind was only on that damned book.

“Of course, I’m not going to force you, I told you-“

“Yeah, I know, I know. Just, I got this witchcraft book from Deaton-“

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s where I was going when I definitely stopped at that sign.”

“Hmmm, yes, the stop sign. But the book, Deaton gave it to you?”

She nodded, “yeah, he said he and Peter couldn’t read it-“

“Open your window.”

“Hey what now?”

“Your window, I’m on your roof.”

She got up quickly, going to the window and sliding it open, smiling when she saw Derek coming down to her. He jumped through the window, standing and promptly freezing, his eyes locked on Stiles, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

“Der?” She moved closer to him, touching his arm, “what’s wrong? What happened?”

He shook his head, and shut his eyes, “you are naked Stiles.”

She looked down, her cheeks flooding as she did. “Ah shit.” She ran out of the room, shutting the bathroom door loudly, banging her head back on the door a couple time. “Um so I’m gonna take that shower, and, yeah, I’m gonna shower.” She started up the water, wanting to drown herself, but quickly cleaned up, before getting out, and promptly realizing she didn’t have any change of clothes in the bathroom. “For the love of god.” She squared her shoulders, and opened the door, smiling at Derek as he looked up at her, his eyes raking down her towel-clad body. She grabbed PJs and returned to the bathroom to throw them on before she went to join him where he was sitting on the bed.

“So, sorry about that.”

To her absolute surprise, he chuckled, looking at her lowly, “why would you be sorry?”

She looked at him like he was having a stroke, “your whole ‘no sex’ rule, and I just paraded around naked?”

He slowly moved closer to her, forcing her to lay down on the bed, as he climbed over her, one of his knees between her thighs. “Tell me why that a bad thing?” He whispered against her neck, and she grabbed the duvet under her to stop her from grabbing his hair. Or neck. Or Back. Or pretty much any body part that presents itself.

“Because you-“

“I want to wait for you, Stiles. I want you to be comfortable and sure, but trust me, _please,_ when I tell you that you drive me crazy, dressed or undressed, and I’m not unresponsive.”

He proved his point by grinding his hips against hers, and she gasped, her fingers finally releasing the bedding as she grabbed his back, pulling him down, their lips connecting with a clash of teeth and whines. He placed his hands by her waist on the bed, and held himself up as he rearranged their legs, so she could wrap her legs around him, and he smiled predatorily into her neck as she moaned the moment he pushed his dick against her again, repeating the action until she was a mumbling mess beneath him. He kissed her once, slowly and lifted off her, smiling again as she began complaining, “shhh baby, I promise, it will be worth the wait.”

“Do girls get blue balls? What’s the female version? Because I am doing that, _so hard_ , right now.”

He laughed as he sat up, pulling Stiles up too, and passing her the book.

“Let’s see what we can find out.”

She shot him a dirty look before her curiosity got the better of her, and she took a deep, shaky breath, trying to clear her suddenly sex-fixated mind, and opened the book.


	15. Chapter 15

She stared at the page, trying to decipher the symbols that lined the edges, encircling phrases that made no sense to her. She leaned the book over a little more so Derek could see, and looked up at him, “what do you think they mean?”

“In all honesty, that Deaton was playing a trick on you.”

“What?” She looked back at the page, and gently ran a finger over the symbol, “what do they mean?”

“What does what mean?”

She looked up at him quickly, narrowing her eyes as she frowned, “what?”

He pointed at the page closest to him, looking at her, a confused expression on his face. “Stiles, the pages are blank?”

She laughed, and hit his shoulder lightly, “oh, I see. Yes, you are _so_ funny Derek, but now help me. You won’t sex me up, so help me with the symbols.”

He took the book from her, and turned it, hoping to catch the light on these symbols, “Stiles, I can’t see anything. Can you really see something?”

She nodded, frowning deeper, “huh,” she took the book, and grabbed a pen and paper from her desk, and traced a symbol, showing Derek, who’s eyebrows almost got lost in his hairline.

He took the piece of paper, staring intently at the symbol, “you can see this?”

She nodded, taking the paper and began tracing another symbol, showing him again. “Derek, the page is full of symbols, all around the edges, and then here,” she pointed to the center, “phrases are here, like the one the witch told me. They make no sense.” She frowned, silently mouthing the first phrase.

“What does it say?”

She looked up at Derek, shaking her head, “oh hell no, I’m not saying it out loud, what if I curse myself again?”

“Well, technically, wouldn’t you curse me? It’s a curse book for men, that’s what the title says anyway.”

“Well, more reason for me to not say anything out loud. I’ve seen you in all your damn glory, and I am _not_ missing my chance with that. So new plan, maybe I write them down.” She began writing the first one, with Derek staring intently over her shoulder.

‘For he who is more often unfair, shall he lose his precious hair.’

“Wow, I am suddenly glad you didn’t say that out loud.” He ran his hands through his hair, and Stiles laughed.

“Yeah, you know, getting cursed kinda made me realize there are times I should shut my mouth.”

He nodded, looking at her skeptically, “yeah, you learned that well.”

“Screw you, or I’ll make you bald.”

He laughed, lifting his hands in surrender, “fine, write another.”

She took the moment to kiss his cheek and saw the small smile bloom o his face.

‘Make the wrong choice, lose a voice, and one to win an award shall be heard.’

He frowned, “what does that mean?”

“Thank you, so I feel both a little better and a little worse, that my curse didn’t make sense.”

He frowned at her, “but she didn’t say anything to you, didn’t she give you the cure to the curse?”

She stood quickly, “oh shit, yeah, I passed out! She told me after, but I know she screamed? Her eyes were white, but I wrote all that down.” She ran down the stairs, grabbing her papers form her kitchen drawer, turning and knocking into Derek’s chest, his hands shooting out to grab her arms to stop her from bouncing off him.

“Shit, sorry. Rushing.”

“Don’t rush, we have time. Show me the papers,” he pulled out a stool for her and she sat, shuffling through before she found the one she needed.

“See, she tried turning me on, it didn’t work, and then she went quiet, eyes white, and screamed at me.”

“Then you passed out.”

“Apparently.”

He grabbed his phone and called Scott. “Hey, is there any chance you can come over?” Stiles waited, hearing Scott’s muffled voice, watching Derek clench his jaw, his eyes glued to the countertop. “Yeah, of course, we’ll be over soon. Can we bring anything?”

Stiles smiled at Derek as he ended the call, and he raised an eyebrow as he stood, offering her a hand. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because. You are really nice, you know that?”

He laughed, lowering his head and she saw his cheeks darken.

“Seriously Derek,” she grabbed his hand, “I’m proud of you.”

He looked up, an uncertain vulnerability in his eyes. “Thank you.”

They stared at one another for a moment before they broke away, “Uh, Scott said we should just go visit them, Alli isn’t feeling particularly well, so she doesn’t want to leave the house, and Scott doesn’t want to leave her.”

“Makes sense,” she grabbed his car key, going to pass it to him but he lifted his hands out of her reach, shaking his head.

“I’m not driving, you drive.”

She stared at him, her jaw slack, eyes glittering, “really?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time tonight, Stiles.”

“Yassss,” she drew out the word, running out the door and leaving him to lock as she started the Camaro. She was buckling herself in when he got into the car, smiling at her.

She smiled back, shoving the car into gear and taking off down the road to Scott’s place, reminding Derek at least 4 times that she loved this car. And she may or may not have referred to it as ‘her’ car, not ‘his’. At least he only smiled a little every time she slipped up.

When they got to Scott’s, Stiles parked behind Lydia’s car and got out quickly when the front door opened.

“He lets you drive his car?”

She wiggled her eyebrows at Scott, “ it's not the only thing he lets me drive.”

Before anyone else could react, Derek slapped a hand over her mouth, “she is talking crap, but yes, I let her drive my car.”

“God, you take the fun out of everything.” She pulled a tongue at him, laughing when he did the same. “I bet you’d make sex boring too.”

His eyes twinkled as he turned to look at her, amid the groans of the 3 friends listening. “Oh baby, I can promise you, sex with me will never be boring.”

With her jaw slack, a smile curling her lips, she watched as he sauntered in the house, hugging a giggling Allison and Lydia as he passed.

“So gross.”

Stiles laughed as she reached Scott, “please, you were gross with Alli. You even told me about that time you guys were taking a break and got stuck in her dad’s office wardrobe and you got a hard-“

It was Scott’s turn to slap a hand over her mouth and she smiled, hearing Derek laughing in the house, with Alli and Lydia shaking their heads.

“Just keep your mouth shut and get in the damn house, you fiend,” Lydia called out, and Scott released her, letting Stiles hug Alli and Lydia before they all crowded in the lounge, and Stiles dragged the book and papers out her bag to show everyone.

“So, don’t read anything, ok? Like out loud. We think its pretty safe to assume it might curse Derek or Scott.”

They all nodded, taking turns to read the 2 phrases Stiles had written.

“Stiles, where did you get these?”

Stiles gestured to the book, ad Lydia grabbed it, flicking through the pages, “I don’t get it, why is it blank?”

Stiles and Derek shot a look at each other, before looking at Lydia, “you can’t see anything? Derek can’t. What about you two?” Stiles spoke as Lydia passed the book to Scott, who shook his head, who showed Alli, her eyes going wide.

“I can read it.”

“OK, so apparently only pure humans can read it?” Stiles looked at Derek, whose brow was furrowed, nodding slightly.

“Seems like it.”

“So glad to know I’m what, a mudblood human because I’m a banshee?”

Stiles shrugged, lifting her hands in surrender, “I didn’t make the rules, mudblood.”

“Thanks,” Lydia gave her the finger, making everyone laugh.

Stiles grabbed the book and began flipping through the pages, skimming the words, until she reached one of the last pages, and shouted with joy. “Oh my god, it’s here!” She rushed over to Derek, sitting quickly on his lap, ignoring his groan, “look, look!” She pointed at the page, and Derek looked before he remembered he couldn’t read the pages.

“You will have to tell me what it says.”

She looked at him, a little frustrated before she realized the same.

“Right, yeah, so here, it says ‘When four-‘“

“Whoa, you aren’t supposed to read from the book!”

She shut her mouth with a loud snap, her eyes wide as she looked at Alli, before she relaxed, “but I’ve already told you all what the riddle was?” She looked around, “you all know the riddle curse slash cure she gave me. Anyway, I won’t say it, but it’s here,” she pointed at the page, and Alli moved closer to look, nodding in agreement.

“What else does it say?”

She looked from Derek to the page, “so it says, you know, the curse, and it says that the cursed could expect to change to a female form. Bla bla bla, temporary in nature, permanent if not cured, no duh. Then it says,” she trailed off, her eyes moving across the page. Derek ran a hand up her spine, scenting her anxiety, and moved closer, looking to the page futilely.

“Stiles, what’s wrong?”

She looked at Derek, “it says the curse may cause the death of a loved one.”

“Read exactly as it says in the book.”

Stiles listened to Derek and tried to absorb his calm nature, taking a deep settling breath. “It says, ‘where the caster is concerned, there may be cause for further rifling.’ Rifling?” She looked at Derek before she started reading again, “In such circumstances, whereby the cursed may not alter or appreciate the expressed emotion, death will be resorted upon for cure.’” She swallowed, rereading the words silently.

“Let’s go to the cottage,” Derek stood, forcing Stiles to stand too.

“wait, the witch’s cottage?”

Stiles nodded at Scott, “Derek found it, he said someone was inside.”

“I can’t go, I’m so sorry Stiles, I would but-“

Stiles cut Alli off, grabbing her hand, “Alli I don’t want you to come, and I swear I mean that in the nicest way possible. You need to look after my baby, and yours I guess.”

Allison laughed, “so you still think I’m giving you one of them.”

Stiles looked at her seriously, “I rubbed your feet. Like _twice_. I deserve a baby.”

Allison laughed, pulling Stiles close for a hug. “Sure thing, I’ll look after yours and mine, you go find a witch.”

“I’ll stay with Alli.”

Stiles nodded, smiling at Lydia. “Thanks, we’ll come back later, ok?”

They said quick goodbyes before Derek sneakily grabbed his car key and winked at Stiles, leading her and Scott to the car. “Peter will meet us by the Preserve.”

She looked over to him in the driver’s seat, “when did you have time to talk to Peter?”

He held out his phone, “the magic of text messages, Stiles.”

He pulled away, making their way to the entrance of the Preserve, closest to the house, where Peter was standing, arms crossed. He opened Stiles’ door, smiling in is usual creepy manner, and Stiles bared her teeth at him, making him hide his laugh.

“Right, keep close, and follow me.” Derek took off into the darkness, and the others fell in behind him, with Stiles behind him, Scott to her left, and Peter pulling up the flank. It didn’t take as long as before, and they soon were all panting quietly, staring at the outline of the cottage. Plumes of smoke escaping from the chimney let them all see that someone was home, and the silhouette moving in the window proved it a little more.

Derek waved for them all to silently follow, and he led the way, crouching as they neared the door. The nearer they got, Stiles could hear people talking, and the sounds of someone cooking (or preparing curses, Stiles’ brain so helpfully provided her). The sound of people walking and shuffling things around seemed to linger loudly, right around the cottage, and Stiles wondered if there had been a spell cast to quieten the noise after a certain distance. She looked up, seeing Derek come to an abrupt stop, and Stiles screamed as the door suddenly shot open, the relentless angry tapping of a gnarled foot on old, weathered tiles was ominously the only sound now coming from the cottage.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! So late! I know it's still the 8th (at least where I am), but I had such a crazy day traveling!  
> I know it's also a little short, but I'm fairly sure you will love it anyway!

“In, in, get in. Get up, get in.” Stiles watched with wide eyes as the old woman ushered Derek inside, somehow followed by Peter, before she looked down at Stiles, growing frustrated. “Oh my dear giddy aunt, you stupid boy, get up, and get in!” That seemed to influence Stiles, and she found herself on her feet, walking in, following a now quietly mumbling woman.

“Stiles, how interesting to see you.”

Stiles looked over at the women who spoke to her, not recognizing her.

“Um, I’m sorry, but-“

“Morgan told us about you.”

Stiles shut her mouth with a snap, looking over to Derek, who was sitting happily with Peter and the old witch, enjoying a cup of tea.

“Don’t bother, Stiles. We made sure that he is preoccupied.”

“What?” She looked over again, “Derek?” She frowned when he ignored her. “Hey, Der?” She called louder, but he didn’t even flinch. “Peter?” She spoke quieter now, suddenly realizing that she is alone in this situation.

“Stiles, Morgan was expecting you a long time ago.”

She looked over quickly to the woman who was talking, resigned. “Morgan?”

“You met her a number of years ago.”

“Oh, you mean the one who cursed me?”

“I can’t speak about that, it’s none of my business.”

Stiles waited a beat, squinting at the woman, “ok, so who are you?”

“I am Evana, and she,” she gestured with her head to the older witch, “is Leodrina.”

“Great, so where is Morgan?”

“Morgan cannot see you.”

Stiles stood quickly, looking down the witch, “well that’s tough, I want to see her.”

Evana shook her head and pointedly looked back at the seat Stiles had previously occupied. She sat, heavily, huffing in annoyance. “Thank you, now, let me pass on the message Morgan asked me-“

“A message?”

Evana waited, lips pursed until Stiles sheepishly nodded for her to continue. “Yes, let me pass on the message Morgan asked me to share with you. I assume you remember the curse? She informed me she told you just before she passed away.”

Stiles frowned, “is she still dead?”

“Stiles, Morgan is just like you and I, and when she dies, that’s it. What did you hope to find here?”

“Well, her! I hoped to find her, I hoped to find her, and she could have helped me, and she could have fixed-“

“You aren’t broken.”

Stiles stopped, taking in the caring tone Evana used. “What?”

Evana shrugged, “you are not broken, which takes us to the message. The curse she told you? It was meant to lead you to a book, called the ‘Spells and Curses for the Modern Man’. Seems that you never made that connection.”

Stiles laughed, which became a little maniacal as she dug in her bag for the book, dragging it out and showing Evana. “This book? This book that gives barely any new information?”

Evana looked impressed, nodding slightly. “Wow, Morgan didn’t have this new information. I assume you received the book recently?”

“Yes, why?”

“Have you looked through the last couple of pages?”

Stiles swallowed, shaking her head slightly, and Evana nodded. “You will find, if you look, there is a passage that relates to you. More specifically, to your particular case.”

She waited as Stiles flicked through the pages, and Stiles paused at the page with the curse she had been told, before looking up to Evana. “If Morgan is dead, how did she tell you all of this?”

Evana smiled, and shook her head, “Stiles, there are things I will never share with you. All I will say is that the dead sometimes still have a lot to say, if one only listens.”

“Helpful. Thanks.” She shook her head, and looked down to the page, flipping it over and reading slowly.

‘Many circumstances are to note, and one is that who may devote. If he should have his heart be taken, may his identity now be mistaken.’

Stiles looked up at Evana, who had a small, knowing smile on her face.

“So, that makes exactly the same amount of sense that the other curse made, which is approximately zero.”

“Stiles, if I am right, you can figure this out.”

“What, that’s stupid! I have read the damn curse a million times, it has been years, Evana, years. That woman cursed me and now I’m this,” she gestured to her body, “and you somehow think your presence will help me figure it out?” She stood, taking up her new preferred action of pacing. “I can’t figure it out, ok?” She looked at Evana, who sat back and crossed her arms, that damned smile still on her face. “So what, let's get it right. Circumstances can affect the outcome, right? That’s what it means, but what the hell does ‘who may devote’ mean? And ‘his heart be taken’?” She stopped, reading the passage again, “’heart be taken?’” She looked up to Evana, “um, can I quickly use your counter?” She looked around, and didn’t see one, “your floor is great.” She didn’t wait, grabbing her bag and crumpling the edges of the pages as she hauled them out her bag. She threw them on the floor, pulling the book to her lap, reading out loud, missing Evana’s movement as she stood up and joined Derek and the others.

‘Many circumstances are to note, and one is that who may devote. If he should have his heart be taken, may his identity now be mistaken.’

She looked to her pages.

‘When four eyes are blind, an organ crushed and hard to swallow, two shall find it all be hollow.’

Her mind raced, and she grabbed a pencil and paper, jotting down ideas as they fluttered into and out of her mind.

‘Heart be taken; as in love?’ She looked up at Derek, averting her eyes when she saw he was still ignoring her.

‘Identity mistaken; male v female?’

She grabbed the book again, skimming the rest of the pages before she came to another passage that seemed to be connected.

‘For he who shall avert his eyes, may he choose to change his sides. He who averts his gaze may change for he who his heart prays. For life is but one ring, each deserves what makes them sing.’

She sat back on the floor, slouching. “I looked away,” she whispered, “I averted my eyes, and averted my gaze.” She doodled, letting her mind wander, “so she was upset. Rejected. And this is my punishment,” she laughed without humor, “wow because that’s not new.” She sighed. She looked at all three passages, and flicked through the book again, gasping quietly when she saw a handwritten note on the back page, scrawled in a sloping, neat script.

“1: C-1, B-13, A-3, A-18, A-5

2: C-4, B-17, C-26, B-24, A-15

3: A-6, B-23, C-11, C-12, B-6, B-12

4: A-11, C-3, C-37, C-25, C-26, C-39; B-20 ex n, B-5”

She stared at the note, a shiver running up her spine as a gust of wind whipped around the cottage, rifling through the papers, pulling pages from the book, until 3 separate pages were settled in front of her, the pages with the curses, in a line, and in the order she received them.

First, was “When four eyes are blind, an organ crushed and hard to swallow, two shall find it all be hollow.”

Second, “Many circumstances are to note, and one is that who may devote. If he should have his heart be taken, may his identity now be mistaken.”

And third, “For he who shall avert his eyes, may he choose to change his sides. He who averts his gaze may change for he who his heart prays. For life is but one ring, each deserves what makes them sing.”

She read each again, looking down at the code every now and then, before she grabbed a new piece of paper and began counting words, writing the words that each number correlated to, and used the order she found them (and the way the wind had arranged them) as A, B and C.

‘For if eyes be blind

Shall his heart now find

An identity to change and devote

To who makes his heart sing; taken note.’

 She looked back at the code, seeing the ‘ex n’ in the last line, and removed the n from the word ‘taken’.

“What?” She whispered, pushing the book and papers away, searching the room for Evana, but finding the cottage dark and empty. “DEREK!” She yelled, jumping to her feet, and raced for the door, wrenching it open and finding the forest hauntingly dark, the darkness seeming to pulse and press, moving as she searched the trees surrounding the house. She was too frightened to go too far away from the cottage, a single candle on the doorstep seeming to fight the darkness.

On impulse, she grabbed the candle, protecting the flame from the wind with her hand, and swallowed, the wind seeming to push against her back, urging her to step into the darkness. She took a tentative step, watching in awe as the darkness moved around her, almost like a sentient mist. She took another step, turning to see the cottage completely hidden from view. She knew she should have been frightened, she knew she should be more worried as to why everyone disappeared, but the wind on her back felt more and more like fingers, a hand, urging her slowly forward, guiding her from behind, and she felt stronger with every step, feeling comforted that the darkness never enveloped her, and soon had set a quick pace, feeling the wind direct her.

She never once wondered where it was taking her.


	17. Chapter 17

It surprised her, after a while, how well she navigated the path that the wind was pushing her down before she realized how smooth the path was. How worn it was. She walked until the sounds of the forest were a long way away, the complete silence pressing against her eardrums. She carried on walking until the darkness began to change, evolving from black to dark grey, and slowly became lighter and lighter until she was surrounded by a thin white wisp of mist, and she could see the growing outlines of trees and shrubs. She slowed again, the wind finally leaving her back, and she watched as the mist dissipated, leaving her surrounded by blooming flowers and sweet-smelling fruits.

“Mieczyslaw, my love.”

She turned quickly, and the colour drained from her face, the candle falling to her feet. She said nothing, her eyes wide, trying to take in the sight before her, hoping to etch it in her mind forever.

“Please, say something my baby.” Her mother moved closer to her, her arms outstretched slightly.

“Mom?”

Her mother smiled, and a light seemed to shine from her as she did. “Yes baby, it’s me. Oh god I’ve missed you.” She walked closer still, and Stiles watched, bated breath, as her mom touched her arm, the warmth from her fingers seeping into Stiles’ skin. She looked up to her mom again.

“Mom?”

“Hey baby.” She looked guilty and slightly broken. “I know this is a lot to take in.”

“Are you alive?”

She smiled, shaking her head, “no honey, unfortunately not, I couldn’t manage that.”

“What?”

Claudia smiled, and grabbed Stiles’ hand slowly, “come with me, and I’ll answer your questions while I can.”

Stiles let herself be led and soon found herself seated at a beautiful garden bistro set, surrounded by roses.

“Where are we?”

Claudia looked around, smiling, before looking back at Stiles. “This is my memory.”

Stiles frowned, her brow furrowed, “what do you mean?”

“I created this space, while I was alive, so my spirit could wait here, so I could see you again.”

“I feel more lost with that information, mom.”

She laughed, a tinkling sound that didn’t sound like what Stiles remembered her laugh to be.

“I was a witch, much like those you have been consorting with.”

“Consorting, god mom, I wasn’t consorting! Are you completely oblivious to the fact that I am, in fact, a woman right now? Don’t you remember that I used to be a boy? Also, a witch? What the hell?” She stood, rubbing her hands down her face, feeling incredibly frustrated and confused and angry.

“Mieczyslaw-“

“It’s Stiles, mom. You know that.”

She nodded, curtly, “Stiles. This was destined for you.”

“Oh,” she laughed, anger radiating, her cheeks heating up, “I was destined to be a woman, huh? So why was I born with that elusive ‘y’ chromosome I seem to be missing right now?”

“Did you take nothing from the hints?”

She stopped pacing, looking at her mother, her brow lowered, “hints?”

Claudia nodded, “the book, the phrases Morgan gave y-“

“The curses? The spell book?”

Claudia huffed, “if you must be petulant, then yes, the _curses,_ the _spell_ book.”

“I’m not sure why you are getting frustrated with me, it is literally called ‘spells and curses for the modern man’.”

“Mi-“ She took a breath, “Stiles, honey, please can you just sit down, and listen. I don’t have time to waste on these trivial matters.”

Stiles sat, but her anger didn’t dissipate.

“Thank you. This place, I created it, with the use of spells while I was alive. I knew I was dying, and I wouldn’t recover, and this is why I died so suddenly. The dementia hadn’t been progressing that fast, until I expended too much energy into creating this memory.” She waited, watching Stiles process the information. “You were destined to find this place, you were always destined to come find me baby.” She reached out, grasping Stiles’ hand, and after a second hesitation, Stiles grabbed back, holding tight onto the hand she remembered and missed. “My love, whether you were a man or a woman, you were always going to arrive here.”

“So there’s no such thing as free will?”

That odd tinkling laugh rang through the air as her mother threw her head back slightly, “of course there is, but something would have led you here, one way or another.”

“Right. So, I’m here, now what?”

“Well, that depends, what do you need?”

“Need?”

Claudia nodded, “yes, that’s what this is for. I knew I had no chance of being there for you, when you were older, when you needed me. This was my policy against that. This way, there would always be a little more time so I could help you when you were grown.”

“Right.” She sat, silent, staring at their clasped hands for several moments. “Why am I a woman?”

“Your spirit demanded it.”

Her head snapped up to look at her mother, “what?”

“You said you read the phrases.”

“Curses.” Stiles sarcastically corrected.

“Curses, fine.”

“Yes, I read them, and they made no sense.”

“Then you didn’t read them well enough.”

Stiles got up, shaking her head, “ok no, I’ve had enough. This is too weird, even for me, ok? For years, years mom, I have ached, wished that you were here to guide me. And this is what I get? More cryptic shit?”

“Stiles, language!”

“Fuck that mom, my life is a fucking mess, I will fucking swear if I fucking want.” She glared at her mom, daring her to try to tell her otherwise.

Her mother narrowed her eyes at her, and Stiles continued to stare right on back, one eyebrow raised, until Claudia looked away. “Fine. Have it your way.”

"My way? Nothing goes my way, mom, or I’d still be a guy!”

Claudia stood up suddenly, her eyes an eerily familiar white, “this _is_ your way, Stiles. The sooner you grasp that, the faster we can move on.”

With that, Claudia reached out, and touched Stiles’ forehead, causing her to crumple on the floor, unconscious.


	18. Chapter 18

When she woke, her head pounded, and her mouth felt like she had eaten a bag of sand. She blearily searched around her, slowly realizing she wasn’t in her bed. Or anyone’s bed. She sat quickly, looking around the forest, her heart jumping to her throat and beating so hard she felt like she might pass out from the pure overexertion. “Derek?” She called, turning in a circle, trying to see which way she should walk, almost jumping out of her skin when her phone began ringing from her pocket. She grabbed it, her heart dropping to a more normal position when she saw Derek’s name.

“Der?”

“God, Stiles, where the hell have you been?”

“I just woke up in the goddamn forest Derek, where are you?”

“Also in the forest, I woke up, Peter is here with me. Call out, loudly, and I’ll come find you.”

He ended the call, and she took a deep breath before she screamed out ‘I’m here’. She continued to call at random intervals, and within 5 minutes Derek came barrelling through the forest towards her. He ran right to her, picking her up off the floor as he crushed her against his chest, his nose nestled in her neck.

“God Stiles I was so scared when I couldn’t find you, how did you get so far out here?”

She began recounting the nights events to him, up until her mother had glowing white eyes.

“What I’m more concerned with, is I remember the cottage, that’s all. Why don’t I remember the rest?”

She shrugged, wrapping her arms around his neck, “a spell, that’s what Evana said, but I just want to get out of here Der, please take me home.”

He kissed her temple, before he pushed her away, turning around and telling her to grab his shoulders and wrap her legs around his waist. He took off running and eventually met I with Peter, who silently followed, neither stopping until they reached the Camaro.

“I’m going to head around the Preserve, see if I can find anything.”

Derek nodded at Peter, “be careful.” He dropped Stiles by the passenger side of the car, and opened the door for her, smiling when she kissed him as she got in.

He hurried to his side of the car, settling in the seat and taking a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the headrest, his hand seeking hers. She traced patterns against his forearm, and he turned to look at her.

“What do you feel like for breakfast?”

Her eyes lit up, “pancakes.”

He nodded and wasted no time in getting them to the diner. He chose a booth to the back, and let her shuffle in first. “How are you feeling?”

She shrugged, “ok I think?”

“And seeing your mom?”

She went silent, looking out the window for a moment. “That was, I don’t know, kind of anti-climactic? Like, it was here, but there also differences from the woman I knew?” She turned to look at him suddenly, “like her laugh, it was nothing like the laugh I remember? She always used to have a full, proper laugh? She really put herself into a laugh? And then when she laughed last night, it was kind of dainty? I have no memory of her laughing like that ever.”

“Didn’t you say that she said it was a memory?” She nodded. “Well, maybe that’s how your mom remembered her laugh?”

She frowned, looking down at the table, “maybe, I guess.”

He grabbed her hand and sat back as the waitress brought their pancakes and coffee.

“What’s the plan for today?” He asked her between mouthfuls.

“Well, I need to talk to Deaton, I need to show him all the, shit!” She jumped up, searching the bench even though she knew her bag wasn’t with her. “My papers! The book!” She looked at Derek, panicked eyes, and he pointed to her breakfast.

“Please, eat first. I’ll call Peter.” He did as he said, calling Peter immediately, and telling him to keep an eye out for her bag, along with the paperwork and book. Stiles took the moment to shovel her food into her mouth, and began drinking her coffee. “Ok, he’s gonna head back to where I found you, but he can’t find the cottage.”

“Fantastic.”

“Stop stressing, I’ll take you home, you can change, and then we’ll go take a hike.”

“Yay, sounds so fun.” She rolled her eyes, and he poked her in the side, making her flinch and laugh.

“You done?”

She nodded, and they stood. Derek shoved more than enough cash under his plate and nodded to the waitress to rushed over to thank them.

They drove in silence, and he pulled up outside her house, to see the cruiser wasn’t there. She sighed in relief, happy that she wouldn’t have to explain why she was covered in dirt. She pulled Derek with her when he tried to detour and sit on the couch. “No, come sit on my bed, you can wait while I shower?” He nodded and gestured for her to lead him up the stairs.

She threw her door open and flopped on the bed, face down. She felt him sit next to her, before he grabbed her waist, and pulled her closer, so her head was resting on his chest. She hummed, throwing her leg over his, and settling in. They were quiet for a couple of minutes before Stiles groaned and pushed up off Derek.

“Gonna shower, give me a moment.” She disappeared into the bathroom, cleaning off as fast as she could, before re-entering her room, to find Derek asleep. She smiled, and grabbed an oversized shirt and panties, quickly putting them on before she climbed up on the bed. Derek woke only briefly, and he pulled her down into the same position they were before and fell asleep with a sigh. She smiled, closing her eyes and letting sleep take her.

 

“Stiles.”

She groaned, burrowing her face into the warmth beneath her.

“Stiles wake up.”

She opened a bleary eye, looking up from Derek’s chest to his face, “the house better be on fire.”

“Your dad is home.”

She stared at him for several moments, “so? Is he on fire?”

He smiled, “no, but he might wonder why we are asleep on your bed.”

She pushed up a little more, resting her chin on her arms, which were crossed over his chest. “You know, most people sleep in a bed. Crazy concept, I know, but-“

“Ok, sarcastic Sue, but-“

“Na na na, just shhh and let me sleep.” She put her head back on his chest, only for her dad to knock on her door.

“Stiles? You awake?”

“Yes dad, Derek’s here.” She pulled her tongue out at him when he shot her a glare, and she heard her dad clear his throat.

“Oh, I can leave if-“

“Ah gees dad, no,” she got up and opened the door, “we were sleeping. It was a long night.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Tell you what, make coffee, and I’ll tell you everything?”

He smiled and reached out to muss her hair before he trudged down the stairs into the kitchen.

She rooted around in her wardrobe, finding the pair of yoga pants she wore a few days ago, and shoved them on, when she turned to find Derek staring at her.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, “nothing. Um, do you think I could shower?”

“Of course,” she went back to her wardrobe, “Scott left a pair of tracksuit pants here ages ago, and I could grab one of my dad’s shirts?”

She turned to him, with the pants, to see him shaking his head.

“What?”

His cheeks turned red, and he looked to the floor. She smiled, and walked to him, slipping her hand in his. “Der? What is it?”

“Will it sound super creepy if I say that I’d rather wear a shirt that smells like you?”

She laughed, “I have tank tops and shit, nothing that will-“

He grabbed the hem of the shirt she was wearing, stopping her in her tracks.

“Oh, yeah you can wear this.” She went to the bathroom, whipping it off and putting a bra on, handing Derek the shirt as she walked into her room to search for a shirt to wear.

“Thanks,” he said bashfully, kissing her cheek before he all but ran into the bathroom.

“wait, Der?” He popped his head through the doorway, “you want coffee?” He smiled and nodded. “Cool, see you downstairs Sourwolf.” She blew him a kiss as he rolled his eyes, and she heard the shower start a moment later.

She started down the stairs, the smell of coffee guiding her, and she smiled again when her dad placed a hot cup in her hands.

“Ah thanks, dad,” she took a sip, “mmm perfect.” She quickly ut a cup together for Derek, and she and her dad went to sit in the lounge.

“So, I saw mom last night.” She regretted it almost as soon as the words left her lips.

“what?”

“Uh, yeah, so apparently, having a cursed son slash daughter isn’t the only supernaturally weird thing in that’s happened. Mom was, maybe, kind of a witch?”

She watched the way her father carefully schooled his featured.

“Wow, and you knew.” She sat back, regarding her father, who took a deep breath and nodded.

“Of course I knew, I was married to her.”

“While we are on the subject is there anything you need to tell me dad?”

He leaned forward, and she did too, her brow furrowing.

“Stiles don’t freak out ok?” She nodded, enraptured. “Stiles, I’m a, ah gees how do I tell you?” He sighed, “I’m a sheriff.”

She waited a beat before she grimaced, and slapped his arm, making him laugh. “You ass, I thought it was something supernatural!” She threw herself back on the lounge set, covering her eyes with her hands.

“Sorry to disappoint kiddo, I am just a sheriff.”

She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, “hang on, so you knew the supernatural existed before I told you?”

He shook his head, “only that witches, somehow, exist.”

She stared at him, broken only when Derek spoke, “he is telling you the truth” They both turned to look at him, freshly showered, and he sat next to Stiles. “Your heart didn’t skip a beat, that’s how I know it’s the truth.”

Her father nodded, “can I ask, does this story somehow end up explaining how you both were upstairs?”

Stiles groaned, “god dad, we were sleeping. Because last night was a long, loooong night.” She watched him, and he sat back, waiting for her to continue. “Right, so I saw mom. She apparently created a memory so I could see her again, as an adult.” Again, he didn’t look too surprised. “Wow, you have kept a hell of a lot from me, dad. Anyway, carrying on.” She recounted the evening again, her dad having very few questions throughout.

“Well, you will see her again.”

“what?” Her eyebrows shot into her hairline, and her father shrugged.

“You will see her again, in that memory.”

She laughed, “what did you do that made her revisit you?” She waggled her eyebrows, and he sighed exasperatedly.

“Go bother someone else.” He leaned back, smiling.

“Actually, we are gonna head out again, because I lost my bag, and I need to talk to Deaton.”

Noah nodded, “call me if you need anything, I’m going to bed.”

They both bid him goodnight, before settling back on the couch, cuddling.

“Did Peter find my bag?” She felt him shake his head. “Ok, well I need to find those papers and Deaton’s book, and I still need to talk to Deaton’s about that coded message.”

“The one you can’t remember.”

“Yes, that one.”

She laughed, pulling him to feet and grabbing his car key, turning to look at him, “when am I getting my car back?”

He raised an eyebrow, “ it's been less than a day, do you really miss it that much already?”

She laughed, and nodded, “yes. I’ll just have to drive now to distract myself.”

He shrugged, and followed her to the Camaro, smiling when he saw how happy she was to drive his car.


	19. Chapter 19

“Peter!” She screeched from the open window, seeing Derek shake his head in her peripheral vision.

“He would have heard you if you had just spoken with your inside voice.”

“Don’t care!” She sing-songed, and jumped out of the car at the entrance of the Preserve. She turned to Peter, smirking, “sup old man. You are aging so gracefully, you know that? Obviously, I just mean you are steadily looking worse.”

“Stiles, always a pleasure to be forced into speaking distance with you.”

“Imagine how it feels to be forced into contact with a psychotic-“

“Ok children play nicely.”

Both Peter and Stiles threw Derek a dirty look, and he simply loped off into the Preserve. “I’m sure I’ll find the cottage again, come with me,” he called over his shoulder.

Stiles looked over at Peter, watching the way he eyed her up and down, and decided running to Derek was the safest bet.

She slid her hand into his and looked with to him with a smile. “So, how do you plan on finding the cottage?”

He shrugged, “I found it both times, I think having a stronger sense of smell makes me a better locator.”

Stiles laughed, “sure, Sourwolf.”

They walked in silence for a while, and Stiles saw Derek tense up, “we are close, I can smell it, but I can’t hear anything.”

She moved closer to him and grabbed his bicep, moments before the damned cottage was visible.

“How the hell do you do this Derek?” Derek laughed at Peter, who was moving around to the back of the cottage.

Stiles and Derek walked slowly to the front door, “is there still no sound from inside?”

He shook his head and pushed the door open. The cottage looked like it hadn’t been entered in years. Stiles moved over to the floor where she had sat the night before, seeing no disruption in the thick coating of dust.

“What the hell, my stuff was here. _We_ were here,” she bent down trailing a finger through the dust and looked up at Derek who was scenting the air.

“I can smell them though. I can smell two other people, along with Peter’s, your and my scents.”

She shrugged, standing up and wiping her dusty fingers on her pants. “So, what now?”

“I think we go now to where I found you?”

She shrugged again, “OK, well I’m up for anything that improves the chances of me finding my shit.”

Derek opened the door, letting Stiles leave first, just as Peter broke through from the tree line, eyes wide. Derek immediately moved in front of Stiles, “Peter? What’s wrong?”

“Just come, you have to see it.” With that, he turned and sprinted back through the trees, and Derek turned to Stiles.

“Please, stay here.”

“What, no! You can’t be serious!”

“Stiles, I don’t know what he saw, but if it’s safer for you to be here, then that’s where I’m leaving you.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, and ran off, leaving Stiles fuming.

“Not cool Derek, seriously!” She sat down on the doorstep heavily, crossing her arms. Muttering to herself angrily for several minutes, she began to wonder what was keeping Derek from coming back. Standing up, she walked closer to the treeline, imagining she would be able to see something, anything, through the thick foliage. Of course, she couldn’t. She strained her ears, closing her eyes in hopes that her hearing would improve substantially. Of course, it didn’t. She waited, bated breath, eyes shut tight, and tried to make out any abnormal sounds in the typical noise of the forest when a sudden silence descended on the Preserve, her eyes opening suddenly. The forest looked darker than before, and she looked around, seeing that somehow the sun had gone down. She took a quick step back, “Derek!” She screamed into the forest, desperately hoping he would hear and head back., the hairs on the back of her neck stood up suddenly, and she turned towards the cottage, tripping backwards in her fright as she saw two glowing white eyes in the window. She stumbled to her feet, turning to the forest and stopping in her tracks. The eyes had been a reflection.

She stared up at the creature in front of her, her scream stuck in her throat. Unable to make a sound, she watched as the skeletal thing moved towards her, slowly, and jittery. Her eyes raked down from its sunken eye sockets to its jaw, hanging on by a piece of skin, rattling ominously with every step it took, to the petrified skin down its torso.

“Stiles,” it rasped out, “you came back.”

She snapped her eyes back to its sockets, finally able to take a step back, but immediately finding her back pressed against the cottage. How she had gotten that close, she didn’t know, but she had more pressing matters to attend to.

“Stiles,” it stepped closer, and Siles tamped down on the urge to vomit, the stench surrounding her was choking. She shut her eyes tightly, turning her head to the side, feeling its breath ghost upon her skin, “Stiles look at me.”

She fought the urge to look, she fought the urge to pass out from the sheer terror, she fought the urge to push it away.

“I knew you’d come back.”

Her eyes slowly opened, and she was unable to stop them. She looked up to the remains of the person ahead of her and swallowed. “Who are you?” She whispered, shivers running the length of her spine.

“Morgan,” its voice became rougher, more forced, “you are looking for my book.”

“Your book?”

The body nodded and lifted a bony hand towards Stiles, her bag soddenly forming and settling on her rotten hand. “Now yours.”

Stiles hesitated, before she tentatively reached out, making sure to keep her fingers as far from the rotten flesh as she could, and grabbed the bag. The moment she picked it up off the skeletal hand, the wind rushed through the clearing, and the corpse collapsed in a filthy cloud, enveloping Stiles in its stench and dust. Coughing, she pushed away from the door, through the dust, and came out the other side, sunshine suddenly bathing her. She looked back, and there was no evidence of the dust and shook her head. Dripping to her knees, she rifled through her bag, finding the book, and her papers, and sighed as she fell backwards onto the grass, breathing deep to rid her of the anxiety from the whole situation.

“Stiles?”

She looked up, and saw Derek running towards her from the trees, “did you find it?”

He slowed, staring at her in confusion, “find what?”

Getting up, she frowned, “whatever Peter found?”

“I wasn’t with Peter, Stiles. You said I should meet you here?”

“What? Derek, how could I have found the cottage by myself?”

“The cottage?” His brow lowered, “are you feeling ok?” He reached out, and grabbed her hand, looking at her face intently.

“Am I ok? You are the one who just ran into the forest after Peter and told me to stay by the cottage.”

He frowned, “why would we go to the cottage?”

She threw her hands up, “I am so lost.”

“Come on then, come sit down for a bit,” he placed his hand on her lower back, and turned her, guiding her forward, but she stopped, resisting his gentle pressure forward.

“How am I here?”

He looked down at her, “Stiles you are scaring me, what’s wrong?”

She looked at the house ahead of her. It was definitely Derek’s house, or at least most of the lower level. She turned to him, “Der, I wasn’t here. You took me to the cottage, to find my bag?” She raised her bag for him to see, “I lost it, remember?” She watched the way he frowned and could almost see the moment his mind cleared.

He looked around, pulling her close, “how did we get here then? The cottage is miles away from my house.”

“I don’t know Der, but where is Peter?”

 

After Stiles had called Scott, she and Derek walked around the almost fully-walled downstairs area of the house, and Stiles was feeling so content and at ease.

“Der, I really am proud of you. This is going to look amazing when it’s all done, I can’t wait to see it.”

He moved behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her head. “I hope you’ll spend a lot of time here,” he spoke quietly, almost as if he was trying to not let her hear him. She turned in his arms and put her arms around his neck.

“I'd love to, just promise not to get sick of me.”

He smirked, and moved her backwards, her back hitting one of the walls. He slowly moved to kiss her, deepening the kiss when she groaned, pulling him closer until they were pressed together from lip to thighs. She wriggled slightly, smiling when she felt his dick hardening, and he ground forward, seeking the pressure they both suddenly craved.

“Uh, guys?”

They broke away hurriedly and looked over to a smiling Scott.

“Hey, Scotty boy!” She moved over to him, but he raised his hands, waving her away.

“No no, stay there thanks. I can smell enough from over here.”

Derek growled in response, and Scott raised his hands in surrender. “Just saying.”

“Ok, whatever, I’ll stay here with my hunk,” she sidled up to Derek, wrapping her arms around him, “but we still need to find Peter. Or buy him a phone. That would make this whole thing finding him _so_ much easier.”

“He’s at the animal clinic.”

Stiles looked over at Scott, “what?”

He shrugged, “he got there just as I was leaving, why didn’t you tell me you wanted to find Peter when you called?”

Throwing her hands up, she sighed, “because it sounds more urgent when I say, ‘Hey Scotty we need you to come to Derek’s place’?”

Scott just stared at her, and Derek huffed out a laugh. “Ok, well apparently we know where he is, so thanks, Scott. Sorry about the whole misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding my ass, have you ever tried to call Scott when you need him? The dude gets side-tracked when he says bye to Alli, and probably sits at her feet staring up at her adoringly.”

Scott at least pretended to be offended, before he shouted bye and took off, leaving Stiles and Derek at the house. He pulled out his phone and called the clinic.

“Deaton, please let me speak to Peter. Thanks.” Stiles slid down the wall to sit on the floor while Derek waited, “Peter, where are you?” She stifled a laugh as she saw his face redden slightly, “ok yes I know you are at the clinic, but why?” Stiles picked at her nails as Peter rambled on, “right.” He put the phone down and sat next to Stiles. “So, he doesn’t seem to remember the cottage either. He said he and Deaton had something to discuss, sounds like he thought he wasn’t doing anything earlier.”

“Fantastic.” She nodded, sighing as she rested her head on the wall. She relaxed for a moment before she remembered she had her bag. “Ooh, let me show you the coded message.” She rummaged through her bag, grabbing the right paper, and shoved it in Derek’s direction, who took it quickly.

“Let me see the others too,” he said, before he read out loud, “for if eyes be blind, shall his heart now find an identity to change and devote to who makes his heart sing; take note.” He stared at the passage silently for a while. “what does it mean?”

Stiles blushed and looked away.

“Stiles?” He moved so he could look at her, and she tried to look away, but he placed his hand on her cheek and forced her to look at him.

She sighed, feeling herself blush, “I don’t know.”

“Lie.” She watched him smirk, and blushed a little more, before she pulled away from his hand, and covered her face with her own hands. “Come on, you know you can tell me.”

She groaned, “but it’s, it sounds stalkerish if I am right.”

“So, tell me anyway, and I promise not to think its stalkerish.”

She glared up at him, “look at the other passages first.”

He did as told and looked back at her expectantly once he had finished.

“So, I think this happened, or that this was _capable_ of happening because I liked you. A lot.”

He lifted an eyebrow, “you realize this isn’t new news to me, right? We discussed that the other day.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t discuss the possibility of me being a woman _because_ I liked you.”

“Fair enough, but then surely we are one step closer to turning you back?”

She looked up at him, “we?”

He nodded, grabbing her hand, “yes, we. I told you, I want to be with you, whatever you decide to do, and regardless of whether you are male or female. I lo-“ he cleared his throat, and Stiles bit her cheek to stop herself from smiling. “I really like you, Stiles. That won’t change if you change.”

She surged forwards, sitting on his lap, and kissed him, moaning when he wrapped his arms around her waist and holding her close. She pulled away slightly, looking at him with a wry smile, “I think we should probably go have dinner, and talk about all this crap, and then maybe you can stay over?”

He shook his head, “how about, we go for dinner, talk about all this ‘crap’,” Stiles laughed at him doing air-quotes, “and then you stay here with me?”

She nodded, kissing him one before he suddenly stood up, holding her in his arms, laughing.


	20. Chapter 20

They were soon sitting, backs against the same wall as before, with fast food scattered around the floor around them.

“So,” Stiles mumbled through her curly fries, “I didn’t realize you were staying here already.”

He shrugged, demolishing his burger, “I wanted to move back in as soon as possible.”

“Mmm,” She swallowed quickly, pointing up, “but, you don’t have a ceiling.”

He looked up, chewing. “Yeah, I am aware of that, but I also run hot.”

“Yeah, and you have a higher temperature than humans.”

He gave her an unamused side-long look, and she cackled.

“Anyway,” he spoke loudly over her laughter, “I only started staying here 2 nights ago, but I understand if you don’t wanna stay here.”

“I don’t mind, as long as you are aware that I’m gonna leech all your body heat.”

He smirked, “I don’t mind.”

“I’ll be like an octopus, wrapping all my long limbs around you, constricting you.”

He grimaced, “kind of getting weird now.”

“And I’ll draw the heat right out of you and my body will swell with all the extra heat.”

“Ok, officially, you sound like a crazy person.”

She laughed, throwing a napkin at him, which he caught and threw back at her. They settled back, and Stiles watched Derek from the corner of her eye, who was looking up at the stars. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she poked him in the ribs.

“Do you think I inadvertently caused this?”

He looked at her and knew what she meant, so he shook his head. “No but maybe, if your mom was a witch, that got passed down to you? Deaton did say you had a spark-“

“Yeah but I don’t think he thought I’d ever be able to change my own sex.”

“Well, you didn’t, technically.”

She groaned, “you know what I mean Der. Think of that one passage, about if I avert my eyes I change for who I want. Or the other one, about my identity being mistaken, do they mean before or after I became a woman? What if I was _supposed_ to be a woman?”

He pulled her close, and she leaned on his chest, his hand rubbing her back. “I don’t know what to tell you, but we can always ask Deaton?”

“Oh please, he will just riddle us in circles as he avoids a direct answer.”

“Ok, so not Deaton. How about I call Satomi, and I ask her if she knows anything?”

Stiles lifted her head, “you’d do that?”

He shrugged, using his other hand to brush her hair out of her face, “I’d do anything for you.”

“God you are a sap,” she giggled, settling back under his arm.

“Whatever, you don’t mind.”

“I really don’t,” she whispered.

He pressed his lips into her hair, and held her still for a while until he moved them slightly, so they were laying flat on the floor, and her head was against his chest. “I don’t mind though, and I want to make sure that you know that.”

“I do,” she started, but he interrupted.

“I mean really know that I’m not kidding.” He moved them so they were on their sides, facing each other, “Stiles I want you to be happy, and I don’t care how that happens. If you stay a woman, awesome. If you want to go back to being a guy, awesome. I don’t care, but I don’t want you to worry about what I’ll think or what I’ll say.”

She nodded slowly, “I get that, but I’m still so confused.”

He ran a finger down her face, “so how do you talk to your mom?”

She frowned at him, “what?”

“Well, your dad said you’d eventually talk to her again, right? How do we do that, like tonight?”

She looked around, eyes landing on her bag. “I don’t know, she didn’t say anything.” She trailed off, trying to think of what her mother had said, if she had given any hints. She sat up, and grabbed her bag, ignoring Derek’s queried look. She grabbed the papers, and found the paper with the code, concentrating as she read it, trying to think of nothing else, except seeing her mom.

“Stiles?”

Her eyes shot open, searching around her to see that she was in the garden again, “holy shit it worked?”

Her mother looked exasperated, “no, but you’re thinking loud enough that I knew you wanted to talk to me.”

“Oh,” she felt a little crestfallen.

“Stiles?” She looked up at her mom, “I’m proud of you for figuring out the code, do you understand now?”

She started shaking her head, “no, that’s why I need to talk to you, I know the code, I know the other passages, but I still don’t get why this happened.”

“You were transformed due to a love, and your beliefs in it.”

“A what?” She stared at her mother, not beginning to comprehend.

“Come, walk with me.” Her mother turned, and they started to walk slowly through the seemingly endless garden memory. “What is the person’s name?”

“Who’s name?”

“Oh Mieczyslaw,” she sighed, and Stiles smiled. It sounded exactly like how she remembered when she had something wrong as a child. “The person you have feelings for?”

“Oh,” she blushed, “his name is Derek.”

Her mother turned to look at her, “Hale?” She nodded, and her mother smiled. “I always liked him.”

“You knew Derek?”

She nodded, “his mother and I used to meet semi-regularly, how is Talia?”

Stiles grimaced, not sure how to navigate this, “she actually passed away mom, a while ago now.”

“Oh.” She looked away into the garden, “that’s awful.” They stayed silent for a while, until Claudia looked back at Stiles. “So, you and Derek, are you courting?”

“Courting? God, you make us sound 80.”

Her mom laughed, pushing her with her shoulder, “fine, _dating_ , are you dating?”

Stiles blushed, “a little?”

“Oh Mieczyslaw, a whole little? Incredible!”

Stiles laughed, her mother always did have a sense of humor like her own. “Fine, yes, we are dating, and I really like him.”

“Well you’d have to, if you decided to change forms for him.”

Stiles stopped, grabbing her moms’ arm to stop her from walking, “me? I didn’t decide this?”

“You did, you read the passages.”

“No, mom. I mean, I didn’t even know I could do this, _how_ could I do this?” She began feeling frantic, “this is quite literally the last thing I’d have ever chosen to do!” She faltered a little, “I hadn’t even met Derek yet.” She spoke quietly, thinking hard back to when she changed. “Mom, I didn’t even know him, not like I do now.”

Her mother raised an eyebrow with a smirk, “sometimes, Mieczyslaw-“

“ _Stiles.”_

“ _Stiles,_ sometimes, the heart knows where it is being pulled, before your mind does.”

“Question, did you ever meet Deaton?”

“Oh, Alan? He was a lovely man, he was Talia’s-“

“Emissary, yes. You two must have gotten along so well.”

“We did, why?”

Stiles laughed, “never mind, cryptic Claudia, just continue to the part where you tell me how to fix this.”

Claudia grabbed Stiles’ hand, “you aren’t broken.”

“OH MY GOD.” She practically yelled, pulling her hand free and running both through her hair, “if one more person tells me I’m not broken, I will actually kill a man.”

“Then maybe start to believe it, Stiles?”

She stared at her mother, feeling her eyebrow tick erratically. “Mom, I-“

“Fine, I’ll tell you. Once you decide whether to be a man or a woman, you will change, and stay that way.”

“So, I just say ‘I wanna be a man’ and poof, magic?”

“No, you have to make a decision.”

“But, technically, I get rid of the curse myself?”

“Don’t think of it as a curse, think of it as a life experience.”

“Helpful. So helpful. Really, I’m reveling in how absolutely helpful that was.” She laughed as she tried to dodge out of her mothers’ reach, but she still managed to land a light slap on her upper arm.

“Gosh, your father must be grey by now, after all your sarcastic comments.”

“Hey, I got my love for sarcastic comments from you!”

They continued walking, in silence, until the garden became out of focus, before disappearing entirely, leaving Stiles to jerk awake. She sat quickly, Derek’s arm falling from her back as he woke, scanning the room to see what had frightened her.

“Sorry, I just, I saw my mom again.”

He sat up, rubbing his eyes, “I wondered how you fell asleep so quickly.”

“Wow, so you were so concerned you decided to nap too?”

He laughed, “yeah, figured that was tomorrow’s problem.”

She pushed him so he was laying flat on the floor, and he laughed, catching her and dragging him on top of her. “So, what did she say?”

“Well,” she readjusted on his chest, resting her chin on her arms, “the short version is that once I decide to be a man or a woman, I’ll stay that way.”

He brows lowered, but she continued. “So, I have to make a decision, but I don’t know how that works.” She looked away from him, laying her head down so she could hear his heart, “I’m not gonna lie though, I’m terrified of making this choice.”

He ran his hands up and down her back, and she sighed at the contact, closing her eyes. “Take your time.”

“Derek its been 4 years, that’s plen-“

“You only found out how to reverse it, tonight. So take more time. Try experience more of life?” She felt him shrug, “pretty much the only things you have done in the past 4 years is study, work, deal with the latest deranged creature making its way through town. You haven’t _done_ anything.”

She chuckled, “god I sound boring.”

“You have _no_ idea.”

She laughed and tried to wriggle out of his arms, but he held her tight against him, and Stiles could almost feel the very presence of the smirk on his face. She settled back, sighing in content. “Fine, maybe I try new stuff, will you do it with me?”

He nodded, “anything, I’ll do anything with you.”

She looked up at him, imagining that the blush on her cheeks wasn’t there, and forced the words out of her mouth before she could change the topic, “I want to have sex. With you.”

He stared at her, a small smile on his lips. “I love the way you act as if that’s not where we would eventually end up.”

She smacked his chest lightly, “well you are the one who keeps stopping how far we go, and I’m telling you I want it.”

He pulled her up, and kissed her, his arms snaking around her waist to keep her tight against him. He broke the kiss after several moments, and she lifted up a little to look at him. “Stiles, I want you to know that I want to sleep with you, but I won’t rush you, we’ve been together for such a short amount of time.”

“Fair enough, but I have pretty much been fantasizing about you since you pushed me against the wall in my bedroom.”

He laughed, his eyes scrunching up, “didn’t I threaten you that day?”

“God yes, and apparently that revs my engine.”

He laughed again, “how are you so weird?”

She shrugged, “I knew you wouldn’t actually hurt me.”

He sobered up quickly, and looked back down to her, “never, I’d never have followed through. I only said those things-“

“To keep me away, I know.” She pressed her lips to him, silencing him. “And that’s ok. I understand.”

He nodded, and moved to sit up, maneuvering Stiles so she was straddling his lap, “how you saw the best in me, back then, I don’t understand.”

“Oh, I didn’t always. To remind you, I had you arrested. And I thought you were killing people when it was actually the Kanima. So please, you weren’t always in my good books.”

He kissed her neck smiling when she moved her head to grant him better access. “Well I like being in your good books now, but when we do have sex, it won’t be on the floor in a half-finished house.”

“Ah fine, so picky.”

He tickled her, smirking, as she begged for him to stop between laughter.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, it is RIDICULOUSLY short, but I have to start packing, I have a 9-hour car trip to take later, but all will be normal tomorrow!

The next morning, he drove them back to Stiles’ house, with plans for her to talk to Deaton later that day, although she groaned the entire way home. “I don’t want to speak to him, he won’t help. He will be all cryptic and crap. I mean, he left, he actually _left_ when I got changed, do you think we ever heard why he left? Like the real reason? Or what he found out? No, of course not. That would be stupid.”

He smiled as she ranted, his hand resting on her knee.

“I mean, the dude must know something, I think he has to. Maybe speaking to him is a good idea. You could hit him, and I could ask the questions.” She looked over to him expectantly, a smile on her lips.

“I am not hitting Deaton, Stiles. You can ask him questions and see if he answers. If not, _you_ can hit him.”

“Yes,” she fist pumped, and he laughed.

“Please don’t actually hit him.”

“No no, no take backs! You gave me full permission to break his face!” She turned in her seat, a snarky smile aimed at him.

“Ah, you are a monster.”

“Thank you,” she attempted to curtsey, and that made them both laugh.

“So, what are you gonna do today?”

He looked over to her quickly, before looking back at the road. “I am going to build more of the house.”

“If I finish early, can I come watch? Will you take your shirt off?”

He huffed a laugh, his eyes squinting a little. “Sure, and no. In that order.”

“Oh my god, you are a _monster_ Derek,” she put her hand to her chest and tried to look heartbroken, which was destroyed by the massive smile determined to show itself.

“Go on, get out.”

She looked around, surprised that they were at her place already. “Ah. What if I don’t wanna go?” He smiled and leaned close to her. She swallowed, his face only inches from hers. Her eyes darted from his lips to his eyes, and she licked her own lips, sucking her lower lip into her mouth.

“Stiles,” he whispered, and she nodded a little frantically. He suddenly opened her door, and pushed her slightly, holding onto her arm so she didn’t fall out and laughed when she squawked.

“God, Derek, I could have died!” She wrapped her hands around his wrist as if he would actually let her fall. He pulled her in suddenly, kissing her until she was breathless.

“Am I forgiven?”

“Flipping cheap shot, but yes,” she looked at him, slightly dazed, with a beautiful happy smile. “Ok, let me go and say hello to our little friend.” Derek laughed at her awful attempt at an accent, and kissed her once quickly, before letting her go.

‘OK, go on. I’ll call you later.”

She nodded, shutting the door and sauntering to his window, leaning in, “or I’ll come and watch you move things and build things and we’ll get all hot and sweaty.”

He smiled before he placed his hand on her face and pushed her away slightly. “Gah, rude!” She called after him as he drove off and smiled as she walked into her house. Her father was gone, which wasn’t all that surprising, so she started a load of washing and grabbed a cup of coffee.

She pulled out he phone and scrolled through her contacts until she found the clinics and hit dial.

“Ms. Stilinksi.”

“Hey doc, I wanted to pop past later. When can you spare an hour?”

“An hour?” She could practically hear his face screwing up at the thought of her presence for an hour. “I’m free all morning if you are willing to scrub up.”

“Excuse me?”

“Wear shrubs, Stiles. Sterile clothes.”

“Ah god, you want to talk to me while you do surgery?”

“I’m free, Stiles. You could learn a thing or two.”

She pulled her phone away as he hung up, and maturely pulled her tongue out, hoping Deaton would know.

She sighed as she grabbed her stuff, heading upstairs for a quick shower and change before she started looking for her car keys. Embarrassingly, it took her almost 10 minutes to remember, and she called Derek.

“What now, weirdo?”

“Uh, hi honey? Anyway, I’m supposed to see Deaton, and I have no car.”

“Go outside, I’m not that stupid.”

She got so excited, and ran to the door, wrenching it open and staring at the driveway. “Derek, where is my car?” She walked over to the Camaro and saw the keys in the ignition. “I’m not complaining, but Roscoe probably thinks I’ve ditched him.”

“Your car-“

“Roscoe, Derek, say it with me now,” she sniggered as she locked the house, heading back to the car.

“ _Roscoe,”_ she laughed at how pained he sounded, “is fine. I left it-“

“Him.”

“Jesus.” She knew he would be running a hand down his face, “ _he_ is parked here at the house, he is fine, go bother Deaton or a while.”

“He’s letting me do surgery.”

Derek laughed, “is this before or after you pass out at the sight of the blood?”

“Derek, I hate to tell you, but I have a period now, and holy shit I’m proud I could say that without whispering, tell Lydia, so I’m kinda used to blood now.”

“Hmmm, well I tell you what, if you don’t pass out, and I’ll ask Deaton, not you, you can fetch your car.”

“Deal!” She yelled, and put her phone down, before making her way to the clinic, determined to prove she could assist with the surgery, or at the very least, be present in the room, and not faint.

 

 As things happen, especially for Stiles, it didn’t work out that way.


	22. Chapter 22

She walked into the clinic and swallowed the sudden urge to run. She walked to the back, seeing the waiting area was empty and knocked on the surgery door.

“Come in Stiles.”

She pushed the door open slowly, and a pile of green material was shoved into her chest, her arms coming up to grasp it before it fell. “What’s this?”

“Your scrubs, please put them on. Don’t touch anything.”

She nodded, throwing the scrubs over her clothes, and then washed her hands when Deaton pretty much drowned her hands in an antiseptic fluid.

“Ok, so we have a quick job first,” he went over to the cage, and brought out a terrified (and bloody) bull terrier, “this little one got into a scrap today.”

“Well that doesn’t surprise me, it’s a-“

“The dachshund is fine. This one was the only one to walk away needing medical attention.”

“Oh.” She shut her mouth with a snap and watched as Deaton placed the dog on the table.

“Ms. Stilinski, if you would be so kind as to come to help me control Ms. Gloria. Hold her down, don’t let her jump.”

“Me? She could bite me!”

“I could bite you, but I haven’t. Please, she is the sweetest thing.”

“Right,” she tentatively placed her hands on the dog and was surprised when she pressed her head into Stiles’ chest. She ran one hand up and down the dogs back, as Deaton prepared and administered the injection to put her asleep, with Stiles helping guide her so she was laying down.

“Ok, so I think you need to practice stitching.”

Stiles stared up at Deaton, waiting for the ‘got you’ part of this sick joke, but h=instead he handed her a suture kit.

“Stop worrying, this is a good skill in case your friends get hurt.”

“Um, my friends are werewolves.”

Deaton nodded, pressing the kit into her hand, forcing her to take it. “Yes, and even they need stitches at times.”

“But I don’t know how.” She swallowed, feeling so nervous she felt ill.

“I’m here to show you.”

She nodded slowly and began following his orders. She felt more and more confident, even though a couple times Deaton had to jump in at the last minute to stop her from piercing the wrong spot or tightening too much. By the end of the surgery, she felt surprised, happy that she would be able to help in future if Deaton was unavailable.

Deaton woke Gloria and carried her out of the room to recover before he reentered with a Yorkie. “This is Thompson, he needs to be neutered. I’ll do this one.” 

Stiles took that as her hint to actually talk to him about her questions. “Deaton, did you ever think I possessed the power to change myself?”

He shook his head, “you have a spark, a piece of you understands the supernatural on a very intrinsic level. This,” he gestured towards her with the scalpel, “is beyond that.”

She reiterated the 3 passages and the code to him, and he looked pensive as he thought it over. “Perhaps, your spark somehow bonded to some of your mother's powers-“

“What the shit, you knew?”

He nodded, solemnly. “I promised to never tell you, to try shield you.”

“Deaton, this information would have been so damn helpful, _years_ ago, and here you knew the entire damn time?”

He shook his head, “no, I never assumed it had to do with your own decisions to change.”

She went silent, fuming for several minutes until she paled. “I have a question that’s been on my mind, we spoke briefly about it years ago, but I want to look further into it.” He nodded, letting her know to continue. “If I have a woman’s body, does that mean I do, um, _everything_ a woman can do?”

He looked up at her, “such as?”

She blushed, “maybe like falling pregnant,” she hurried on, almost wishing she could talk over her own words, “I mean, we did talk about me, and that taking birth control would be bad, maybe? And then we left it, and now I wonder, and can you blame me?”

Deaton laughed, finishing up on the now less-manly Yorkie. “Shall we run some tests?”

“Ah gross, Dea-“

“Not like that,” he looked disgusted, “I mean blood tests. I’m adept at running them now, I’ve had to, seeing as every now and then I have a sick werewolf in my care.”

She nodded, and when he returned from placing the Yorkie in recovery, he re-sterilized his hands and grabbed items from a locked cupboard. She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “I have to keep the human variants separate, in case I have someone in here who doesn’t have the same understanding as we all do. I should have the results within 48 hours.” She nodded and watched as he began opening the various packages, a needle is one of the dammed items. She knew she would have needed a needle but seeing it made it all so much more real. She gripped the table, and he shot her a worried look, “look to the left please,” he grabbed her arm, wiping it down with an alcohol swab, “deep breathe,” he quickly pierced her skin, drawing the blood as fast as he could, before he withdrew, and placed a band-aid on the crook of her arm, bending her arm as he walked around to her, “sit here please.”

She did as told, and made the mistake of looking on the table top, and seeing the vile.

 She thought two things simultaneously, one being that it was _her_ blood, and two being that she had done stitches on a bleeding dog and never once felt like it was odd.

Her heart beat loudly in her ears, pounding against her ribs. She swallowed, hoping that she could ignore her heart, yet knowing that it was beyond impossible. She stood suddenly, while Deaton was turned, and grabbed the cloth from the sterilizing bucket, and ferociously washed the table, ignoring Deaton’s requests that she sit and calm down. She re-dipped, and cleaned under the table, and then the table legs. She kept hoping, breathing. Needing this to pass. But when her fingers began trembling, she knew it was too far gone. She shook her fingers out, putting her left ear on her left shoulder, and the same with her right. Over and over. Feeling out of control of this body that should be hers. She should be able to control it, to stop an attack. She felt like a failure, and the first tear raced down her cheek, followed by another, and another. Her breath became choppy, her eyes dry despite their tears. She unclenched her jaw, not sure when she had tensed up, but knew it would happen again. It always did. It felt like it always would. She breathed for a lifetime, feeling her body disconnect entirely before it started feeling like hers again, slowly, painfully. When she felt human again, alive, she looked around slowly. She was sitting down, a blanket draped over her shoulders. Deaton wasn’t in the room but returned almost as soon as she realized he was gone.

“How are you feeling?” He pressed a cup of something hot into her hands, and she took it robotically, feeling the heat seep into her palms.

“Thanks, what’s this?”

“Chamomile tea, how are you feeling?”

She shrugged, the blanket falling off one shoulder. “A little dead.”

He nodded, “the average panic attack can use the same amount of energy as in a marathon run.”

She didn’t look up to him but could believe that. She _felt_ like she had done a marathon.

“I’ve called Derek, he will be here soon.”

She couldn’t help the small smile that spread on her lips, and finally looked up towards Deaton, “thank you.”

He nodded, “and I’ll let you leave once you drink that tea.” He got up quickly and left her in the room, which thankfully smelt neutral now, after all her hyped-up scrubbing.

Several moments later, after she felt like she had sat still for a lifetime, save for when she lifted the sweet tea to her lips, the door opened slowly, “Stiles, baby?” He looked over to her, rushing as he saw her before he crouched in front of her. “Are you ok?” He placed one hand on her cold cheek, the other brushing her hair out her eyes.

“Yeah, ‘m just tired.”

He nodded and stood up. She was about to ask him what he was doing when he bent over and picked her up in a bridal carry, and she immediate melted in his arms, her empty cup forgotten in her lap.

He pushed through the door, and Deaton stood waiting on the other side. He reached out, gently taking the cup from, her loose fingers. “It’s chamomile tea, a special blend I came up with that increases the calming properties.”

Derek nodded, “thanks, Deaton.”

He carried Stiles out, and placed her in his car, buckling her in. “Der, I want to go to sleep for a bit.” She murmured, and he nodded, placing a kiss on her nose.

“I’m gonna take you now, and I’ll stay with you.” She watched him close her door, and walk around the car, getting into the drivers’ seat and taking off. Stiles dozed off, the tea working its magic and calming her enough that she felt like resting, and not like driving herself mad with pitiful self-depreciating talk. She woke when she felt Derek lift her out the car, and she rested her head on his chest, basking in the heat he gave off.

“Where are we?” She looked up to the sky, seeing the treetops.

“The Preserve.” He spoke as he navigated the forest, eventually leading them out to the house.  

She stayed silent as he walked up to the house, setting her on her feet. She pointed in front of them, and looked at him with a small, tired smile, “porch steps.” He nodded and gestured for her to go up. There was now also a door, and once she went inside, she smiled. He had set up a tent, amidst all the building supplies.

“I hoped you’d stay here again, but I know you got a little chilly last night, so I got you a tent.”

“Not just me, right?” She looked back at him, and he shook his head.

“Of course not, I’ll also get in.” She smiled at him, before getting into the tent and melting. He had filled the large tent with pillows and blankets and she wanted to cry again.

“You ok?”

She looked over to see him crouched next to her and blinked away her tears. “Yeah, this is really nice.” She threw her arms around him, and he laughed, moving them both into the tent so they could lay down. It took her only moments to fall into a deep sleep, and he laid next to her, running his hand down her hair, across her cheek, her neck. He forgot about the building he could be doing, he forgot about Cora’s latest call, he forgot everything that wasn’t her.


	23. Chapter 23

Waking up, she squinted against the soft light filtering through the tent fabric, and stretched, feeling her muscles, tense from the attack, protest. “Ow,” she groaned, rubbing her fist against her thigh muscle, and then rubbed her hand up and down to warm the skin.

“Baby?”

She looked up to where she heard his voice and smiled. Zipping the door open, she looked over to where Derek was standing, with a hand saw halfway through a large piece of wood.

“What you doing?”

He looked down, and Stiles swore she saw him blush slightly. “I’m actually going to make my own banister for the stairs.” He spoke quietly, but it was still gruff.

She walked over to him, stretching her aching body as she did, and snaked an arm around his waist, “sounds cool, how will you do it?”

He looked down at her for a moment, before he reached into his jeans pocket, and handed her a piece of paper.

She unfolded it, smiling at the intricate looking banister post he had hand drawn.

“It’s the best I could draw it from memory, it all burned up and-“

“Der,” she put her hand on his forearm, “it’s really pretty, I can’t wait to see them.”

He smiled and pulled her close, his lips finding her forehead. “Thank you, hearing you say that, it means a lot.”

She smiled, “so how do you make a banister post?”

“Well,” he released her, “I first cut it to the right height, and then I’ll hand carve the-“

“Hand carve?”

“Yes,” he laughed, head bowed a little, “it’s the only way I’ll be able to get the carvings right.”

“Holy crap.”

“What?”

She looked up at him from the drawing, “your arms are gonna look so hot while you are flexing, doing this.”

He laughed, “god is that all you think about?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “yes, it is. So how long was I asleep for?”

He went back to sawing the wood, “a couple hours, maybe three. How are you feeling?”

“Sore.”

He raised his eyebrow, “sore?”

“Mmm my muscles hurt," she grabbed her shoulder, and rotated it a little, feeling the pull. “It was a pretty intense attack.”

He nodded, “I could smell the adrenaline as I was running to the clinic.”

“You ran?”

“Yes, how else would I have gotten there? You have my car.”

She eyed him suspiciously, “so where’s Roscoe?”

He looked up suddenly, looking remarkably like a deer caught in headlights, “um, outside?”

She laughed, and patted his arm, “he isn’t outside, is he?”

Derek waited a moment before he shook his head. “I left it, sorry, _him,_ at the motel.”

“Right. The motel. Where you aren’t staying. Probably not even paying for a room. But they are letting you leave a car there. Totally believe that.” She laughed as she walked around the bottom floor of the house, seeing the marks on the floor which showed where the interior walls would be.

“He’s safe, I promise.”

She looked over to him, and nodded, “I trust you.”

“Why?”

She shrugged, “you haven’t killed me yet, I think that proves you kind of, maybe, care about me.”

He laughed, and shrugged with one shoulder “eh, maybe.”

She watched him begin to carve the post, noting his naughty smile when he realized she was watching him. “So, what did Deaton say?”

“Well, before I went crazy he took-“

“Stop it, you aren’t crazy.”

She laughed humourlessly at him, “Derek, I feel crazy. I can’t control it, I can’t stop it, my body just fritzes out and that makes me feel kinda crazy.”

He dropped the tool and the wood and dusted his hands on his pants as he walked towards her, “so you feel out of control, not crazy.”

“Meh, feels the same in the moment. Don’t worry, I’ll be ok tomorrow. Today, I just need cuddles and chocolate. And food, god I’m starving.”

He laughed, “fine, I’ll go get food, you stay here.” He kissed her and loped out the door, leaving Stiles to wander the empty walls. She went back into the tent, throwing herself into the soft pillows, staring up at the top of the tent, daydreaming. She got a huge fright when the front door swung open, and Derek’s voice rang out.

“I have food, and I bought chocolate milkshakes.”

She wasted no time in opening the tent door and beckoning him closer, making him chuckle as he climbed into the tent with his haul.

“You know, I have a strict no eating in bed policy, don’t expect this all the time.”

“Yeah yeah, gimme the chips!” She grabbed the bags and rifled through, slowly pulling her face back to look at him. “Derek, why are there sugar snap peas in here?”

He smiled and threw another bag at her. She opened it cautiously and pulled out her own black yoga pants. “You went and got my yoga pants. And you bought sugar snap peas. Please, _please_ tell me this doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

He only nodded and got up leaving her in the tent.

“Derek you said there was chocolate milkshake!” She yelled out, and she heard him snigger quietly.

“Yes, and you’ll get it once we finish. So, put your pants on.”

She glared at the pants, obstinately refusing to touch the darned things.

“I’ll take my shirt off.” He spoke quietly, and she could tell he was nervous, although she wasn’t sure why. It did work, however.

“Fine,” she pulled her jeans off, trading for the yoga pants, and emerged from the tent, her hair messed up from trying to dress in a tent, and he reached out to smooth it with a smile. “Did you really break into my house to fetch pants?”

He nodded, “and the yoga mats.”

“Ah, crapping mats.”

“Excuse me?” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she shook her head.

“Come on, let’s get this torture out the way so I can eat.”

He grabbed her hand and led her outside to where he had set the mats up, close to the trees, in the sunlight.

All in all, she felt she did better this time, although she was sure that your bum wasn’t meant to meet the mat so many times.

 

“Mmmm,” was the constant noise that she made while she ate, sitting on the mat outside, her milkshake in one hand, and the burger in another.

He shook his head, “I can’t believe I caved and bought you a burger after yoga. It makes no sense.”

“Mmmhmmm,” she chewed quickly, holding up a finger to let him know she wasn’t finished. “It does make sense, actually, because I need food, and a burger is food, and I like food. Especially today.”

He nodded slowly his eyebrows lowering a little, “I’ll always make sure you eat well after an attack even if it’s a damn burger.”

She smiled, “you are kind of sweet, you know that?”

“Yeah I do,” she laughed at his faux-cocky-ness, and continued eating, before she dipped her chips into her milkshake, much to the disapproval of Derek. “That’s disgusting.”

She shook her head, “nope, its amazing. Also, it’s getting close to my time of the month, somehow, and this is the quickest way to carbo load.”

“You carbo load?” He laughed.

“Yes, without even thinking about it. I want all the chips and all the bread and all the pasta, then when I start, I barely eat.”

He nodded slowly, “duly noted.”

She laughed, blushing a little, “sorry, I just realized how weird it must be for you to hear about my period.” She spoke quietly, keeping her eyes down, but looked up suddenly when he placed his hand on her thigh, squeezing.

“You remember I had Laura, Cora, and my mother once, right? They were just the females in my immediate family, never mind all the other women in our family who lived with us. Periods were a topic brought up even around the dining table.”

She giggles, “really?”

He nodded, trying to look solemn “it was a running joke in my family because every woman started their period on the same damn day, it was like a war broke out every month, with the men as the casualties.”

She laughed at that, “sounds terrible.”

“Torture.” He winked at her, and she laughed.

“Hey, you can’t use my descriptive for yoga, that’s not fair.”

“Oh gosh,” he mock bowed, “I do apologize, I wasn’t aware the entire English language belonged to you.”

“Well, now you know.”

He laughed and pulled her over to she was sitting across his lap. “So, you gonna tell me what Deaton said?”

“Not much, you know Deaton,” she shrugged, laying her head on his chest, his arms encircling her tightly. “He took the blood so he could check hormones and stuff.”

“Hormones?”

“Um, yeah. He didn’t explain why.” She knew that Derek knew she was lying but sighed in relief when he didn’t bring it up. “Then I kinda zoned out and asked him nothing else.”

“Hmmm.” He was quiet for a beat, “when do you get the results?”

“Uh, like 48 hours or something?”

She felt him nod, “ok, then I’ll come with you, if you want, and I’ll remind you what questions you had for him.”

“Sure, I’d like that.” She moved slightly so she could look up at him, “he taught me how to do stitches.”

“Seriously?”

She nodded, smiling widely, “yeah, so if you chop off your thumb or something, I’ll be able to stitch you up!”

He laughed, “but you had an episode?”

“You mean a panic attack?” He nodded and she continued, “well I only freaked out when I saw my own blood, but I stitched up this bull terrier called Gloria and she had been bleeding. I was fine.” She shrugged.

“Hmmm,” he pulled her closer again, “the enigma of Stiles Stilinski.”

She laughed, and nodded, “exactly.”

He cuddled her for ages, the sun keeping them warm when the chilly wind whipped through the clearing every now and then. When the sun started dipping too low, he nudged her, waking her up from a light sleep.

“Come, let’s go inside.”

She nodded, and stood, stretching as Derek grabbed the mats and dragged them back, his hand finding hers as they went. “So, what do you want to do tonight?”

She shrugged, “You have no TV-“

“Or electricity,” he added quickly, to which she nodded.

“Exactly, but maybe we could go visit Alli and Scott? I haven’t seen them in a while.”

He nodded, and sent Scott a message, confirming it was ok for them to pop over.

“I’ll take you home, and we can clean up there if that’s ok?”

She nodded, a dirty smile on her lips.

“Alone, Stiles,” he laughed, “we are not showering together.”

She sighed dramatically, “fine, whatever.”

They packed up, and headed to her house, with Derek throwing clean clothes on the back seat. Stiles looked back at them before she looked at Derek, “you need a better way to store your clothes. A cardboard box isn’t exactly ideal.”

He shrugged, “I’m happy to keep them there while I build, I don’t mind.”

“Can I go shopping with you when you get stuff for the house?”

He looked over to her, his brow high, “you want to go shopping?”

She shrugged, “Lydia has trained me pretty well. Also, chances are Lydia will eventually come to your house, and I want to see her face when she sees a plaid couch.” She stared at her knees, smiling wickedly, only breaking her reverie when Derek laughed.

“I will not buy a plaid couch, Stiles.”

“Ah but Der, think of how funny it will be!” She whined, pouting.

“Nope, you’ll have to think of another way to get her to twitch.”

She stayed silent, running through ideas in her head until they reached her house.

“You shower first Der.”

He looked at her, stopping on his way to sit on her bed, “you sure?”

She shrugged, “you were working with wood and stuff. Let’s not get that all over the place.”

He eyed her for a moment, before he nodded, grabbing his clothes, and closing the bathroom door behind him. She listened to the shower start and bit onto her bottom lip. She waited until she heard the sound of the water change when he stepped under the flow, and she slowly went to the door, reaching out for the handle. She gasped when the door flew open, to a very smug (and wet) looking Derek, who was holding a towel around his waist.

“What are you doing?”

She laughed, “saving water?”

He raised his eyebrows, and she took the moment to launch herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. His hands landed on her waist and held her tight, and she smiled when she ran her hands down his back, landing on his naked ass. She pulled away with a naughty glint in her eye, and looked up at him, “what will happen if I pull my hips away from yours?”

He answered with an equally naughty smirk, “my towel will fall off entirely.”

She took a step back, and pulled her lip between her teeth, keeping her eyes trained on his face when she heard the towel land on the floor.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE THE CHANGED RATING  
> The tags will be edited as necessary...

“Don’t just stand there,” he said, moving closer to her, her smile growing.

“Seriously?”

He nodded, reaching an arm out to her, “you wanted to come in, didn’t you?” She nodded, and he smiled, “so come on in. First person to look down loses.”

She laughed, her eyes screwing up, and decided to just go for it, grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head, making eye contact with him as she unclasped her bra, letting it fall to the floor. She wagged her eyebrows, but he kept looking into her eyes, and she laughed, red colouring her cheeks as she slowly pushed her pants down, making sure to keep eye contact AND stay as upright as possible. She was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes to his, and he seemed to know by the smug smile on his face.

“Come on then,” he moved back so she could go into the shower first and she laughed, getting in, followed by Derek.

“Don’t look at my ass, that’s cheating.”

He laughed as he shut the door behind him, and Stiles was sure her shower stall had shrunk since she last used it. “Well, what if I just touch it?”

“Touch the butt?” She looked over her shoulder to him, eyes twinkling before she turned to face him. He looked back at her, a slightly confused expression, and Stiles sighed. “It’s from Finding Nemo, you rock man.”

“Rock man?”

She nodded, “yes, because you live under a rock. Shut up, not a good insult, I am _well_ aware, but I’m also _very_ aware of the hot naked guy in front of me and it’s making it hard to concentrate on doing the wording.”

“Wording?” He asked, smiling as he moved closer to her, his hands slowly settling on her hips, making her take in a shuddering breath.

“Yeah,” she whispered, a shiver running down her spine as he ran his fingers up her sides.

“Turn around.”

She did as he said, not thinking twice, and stifled a moan when she felt his large hands running over her back. He grabbed the shower gel, and squirted a large amount over her shoulders, and slowly began soaping her up. She placed her forearms on the wall, supporting herself, as he slowly kneaded her back muscles, running his hands down her sides, and grazing her side boobs with every pass. She wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or accidental, but she wasn’t about to call him out on it. She jumped when his hands lowered to her ass, and he chuckled, massaging her cheeks.

“You better not be looking,” she was breathless, and her blush deepened.

“Can’t lie and say I’m not.”

“You lose,” she whispered, and he moved closer, she could feel his chest press against her back with every breath they took.

“Doesn’t feel like it,” his voice was low, and she instantly decided it was the best way he ever sounded.

“What are you gonna do now?” She shivered again, as his lips connected with her shoulder, kissing from the edge of her shoulder, up to her ear, where he lingered, his breath teasing her.

“I’m going to finish showering.” He reached around her, one arm holding her in place, as he grabbed the shower gel, squeezing it into his hand and began rubbing it onto her belly. She moaned, throwing her head back onto his shoulder, her arms going up to grab his head and neck, desperate to keep him close. “Is this ok?” He whispered it against her ear, and she nodded, leaning further back into him.

“Good, it feels good,” she rushed, not thinking and only feeling.

“Can I move my hands up?”

She nodded, and laughed a little, sounded thoroughly out of breath, “god, just touch my boobs Derek, please.”

He chuckled against her skin, and slowly, agonizingly so, moved his hands up her belly, up her lower ribs, before finally, _finally,_ his hands gently caressed her boobs, his thumbs lightly rubbing across her nipples, making her shudder, her fingers winding in his hair.

“Ah fuck,” she breathed, closing her eyes tight as he continued to move his thumbs in slow circles over her nipples, eventually he moved one hand down her belly, the other lifting her arms, moving her to brace against the wall again. He slowly moved down her body, before he was crouched behind her, pressing kisses to her back as he went, his last kiss landing just above her ass. He began rubbing his hands over the outside of her thighs, and she spread her legs a little, a needy whine leaving her throat.

“Shhh,” he whispered, moving his hands down to her knees, and slowly making his way up her inner thighs. She moaned, unable to keep her mouth shut anymore, and fought the urge to move her hips. He slowed as he reached the top of her thighs, and with a barely-there touch, grazed her lips before moving down her legs, pulling another moan from her.

“Derek, please,” she begged, breathless and needy, and wasn’t sure she had ever felt this turned on.

“What baby?” He asked, his lips ghosting against the skin on her hip, as he ran his hands down her outer thighs, across her knees, and up to her groin, giving her no more attention than he had in the first pass, which only made her louder and more desperate.

“God, Derek, please, I need you, _please,_ ” she groaned, her legs trembling in the effort to stand still.

He stood quickly, pressing their bodies together; his chest to her back, his dick against her ass. She pushed back against him, and he grabbed her hips, pulling her tighter against him.

“I’m not gonna fuck you in the shower baby,” he punctuated his words by thrusting against her and smiled when she whined.

“Der, you can’t leave me this time, you can’t,” she complained, grinding back against him.

“I won’t baby, I promise.” He stilled her hips, and laughed when she groaned in frustration, “can I make you come?”

She tried shooting him a dirty look over her shoulder, but its power was greatly diminished by how aroused she looked; her pupils blown wide, cheeks and lips blood red.

He took it as a ‘yes, dammit, do something’ look, and he wound his left arm around her waist, supporting her, as his right went straight down her stomach, eliciting a gasp from Stiles when he quickly delved a finger inside her, before he pulled it out and began rubbing against her clit.

“Ah, jesu- fuck!” She grew louder still, her fingers clenching in the air where she was resting her arms against the wall, and he groaned at the way her ass rubbed against him. He held her tighter, moving his fingers faster, the scent of her arousal hanging heavily in the air around them. He moved his left hand a little so he could roll her right nipple between his fingers, her moans echoing loudly off the bathroom walls. Derek could almost feel it in the air when she was close, and she dropped a hand to his, wrapping her fingers around his wrist, almost trying to still his movement. He rubbed her faster and held her tighter as she cried out, her nails digging into his skin as she came, her head thrown back onto his shoulder. He continued to press against her clit as she came, prolonging the pleasure as long as he could until she went limp, held up only by his arm. “Fuck, Der,” she breathed, her voice rough as her heartbeat began slowing. She stayed in his arms, catching her breath, for a couple minutes while he traced against her skin with his right hand, smiling when she tensed if he passed over a ticklish or sensitive spot.

He kissed her temple, and let her go slowly, letting her stand before he turned her around, and kissed her deeply. “I think we are clean enough, we wasted enough water,” he said, lips pressed against hers. She nodded and dopily smiled.

“Yeah, ok.” She climbed out, grabbing a towel and passing one to Derek. She wrapped it around herself, and stumbled to the bed, collapsing on it the moment she could. Derek laughed from behind her, and she waved a hand at him.

“Do you mind if I forego the towel?”

She looked up at him, and he looked a little out of place and uncomfortable. “Are you asking me, now, if your nakedness disturbs me?”

He shrugged, “I won’t ever assume something even remotely sexual is ok without checking first, even if we did just _do_ something.”

She propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him, “I think I like that. But in all seriousness, I like you with and without a towel.”

His cheeks reddened slightly, and he smiled, one side of his mouth curling a little. He went back to the bathroom and hung up his towel, and Stiles had a quick debate with herself as to what she should do. She opted to quickly throw her own towel to the floor, her heart racing, her face feeling several hundred degrees hotter than the rest of her. She waited, anxiously, for a couple seconds until he re-entered the room, stopping when he saw her naked, still laying on the bed.

She swallowed, suddenly regretting her decision. She watched with wide eyes as he walked slowly forward, until he reached the bed, and sat next to her, and she was sure he’d be able to hear her heart, even if he didn’t have superhuman hearing.

“You look beautiful,” he spoke quietly as if he was afraid of scaring her off, like a little animal, and she relaxed incrementally.

“Do you really think so?”

He nodded, and moved closer to her, searching her eyes for any hesitations before he pushed her onto her back, and laid on his side next to her. He lifted her legs and placed them over his, and she relaxed a little, her fingers still gripping together tightly. He traced down her arm with his left hand, until he reached her hands, and pulled them apart, and then up to his lips, kissing each finger on one hand slowly, before he placed it above her head, gripping it in his right hand, and then repeating the process with her other hand. He watched as she took a deep shuddering breath, “is this ok?” He whispered, and she nodded, her eyes never leaving his.

He moved in to kiss her, his left hand gliding down her arm, down her cheek, down her neck and her chest, finally across her nipple before she gasped, breaking the kiss, panting. He smiled at her, and she tried to pull her hands free, making him smile more. “I think I like you where you can’t move,” he stopped his fingers for a moment, looking at her seriously, “tell me to stop at any time, ok?” She nodded and wet her lips.

“I want this, Derek. I want you.

He nodded, “I want you too, but still, if you need me to stop, for any reason, I will.”

She moved her head up, and he moved closer to kiss her, his fingers restarting their dance across her body. She dropped her head back onto the bed, her lips parted, and Derek was sure she had never looked more beautiful in her life. He gazed down her body for the first time, trying to memorize each and every mole, each freckle, each scar. He moved slightly, kissing down her neck before he sucked her left nipple into his mouth, and she gasped loudly, her hands jerking in his grip.

“You are so sensitive,” he commented quietly, licking around the bud, feeling it harden against his tongue. She pushed her chest up against him, straining against his grip, and he smiled. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

She giggled, breathless, “you think?”

He hummed, gently biting her nipple and listening to her moan. He sat slightly, and leaned over her, sucking her other nipple, moving down her body to drag his tongue across her belly, making her squirm. He moved lower licking a stripe from her left hip to her right, hearing her take a deep breath in and smiled, looking up at her. “Remember the night we had phone sex?”

She giggled, trying to hide her face in her elbow, and failing miserably. “Yeah,” she giggled again, trying to pull her hands free.

“Stop wriggling,” he used his free hand to tickle her side a little, and she laughed, her body arching to try to get away before he stopped. “Now listen,” his voice was low, and he moved down, kissing down from her ribs to her hip. “How many times did you come?”

She heard the smirk in his voice, and blushed, resuming her efforts to hide in her elbow.

He pinched her nipple, and she moaned, her eyes snapping to his without thinking. “Tell me,” he ordered, his voice doing all sorts of things to her body.

“Two.” She whispered, biting her bottom lip as she stared at him.

“Hmmm.” He moved, pushing her legs apart before he sat on his knees between them, keeping his eyes on hers the entire time. “Maybe we should try to beat your only record?” He asked, trailing his fingers up her side.

She looked up to him, her body screaming yes, but her mind a little less eager. She swallowed, trying to recover the confidence she had moments ago. “Wait, can we, please can we stop?”

He moved immediately, pulling the blankets from under her feet and giving it to her, allowing her to cover up.

“God, Derek, I’m so sorry,” she sat, placing her head on her knees, but he placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“No, never say sorry baby, please,” he pleaded, “tell me what I did wrong?” She shook her head, but he looked at her, concern in his eyes. “Please,” he spoke quietly, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

“It’s kind of awkward.” She groaned, trying to look back down to her knees, but Derek didn’t let her.

“I promise you, whatever it is, we won’t make it awkward.”

She clenched her jaw, “so why didn’t you look at me,” she looked like she was choking on the word, its' taste bitter on her tongue. She resorted to waving in the general direction of her pelvic area, and Derek looked between her moving hand and her face several times before he lowered his head, stifling a small chuckle.

“I was trying to make it less awkward for you, obviously that failed.”

She gaped at him, “really?”

“Yes really, I know you haven’t been naked in front of anyone, and I didn’t want you to feel self-conscious. I’m sorry I did the opposite.”

She laughed, and he looked up, her hand covering her eyes, and he could see her cheeks were bright red.

“Oh my god, maybe we are both idiots.”

He laughed, moving up to pull her into his arms, “you are probably right,” he said, pressing kisses to her hair.


	25. Chapter 25

“When will you start on the second floor of the house?” She asked him as he drove them to Scott and Alli’s place, and he had her hand grasped tightly in his.

“Hopefully in the next week?” I need to get the floor done for upstairs first, so I guess it depends on how long that takes. And the bottom interior walls need to be built.”

She nodded, leaning her head back on the headrest and looked at him, “I’d like to stay with you if that’s ok.”

He looked at her, his smile blinding, “I’d like that.” He squeezed her hand, and parked the car, getting out. Scott suddenly opened up the front door with a smile and Stiles smiled, biting her tongue to not make fun of him.

“I can see how hard you are trying not to laugh Stiles, just get it over with.”

She smiled at him, and shook her head, pulling him in for a cuddle before she pushed past to see Alli inside. She looked exhausted, and Stiles felt bad for her, feeling like she had abandoned Alli.

“Hey Stiles, come sit with me please, I’m bored, and Scott’s face is irritating me.”

Stiles stifled a laugh, turning to look at Derek, “maybe you and Scott should go and get food or something.” She laughed when Scott hastily moved to Derek’s car, opening the passenger door and getting in.

“Right, I think Scott wants to leave for a bit,” Derek laughed, and pulled Stiles in for a toe-curling kiss, leaving her swaying and giddy. She turned to see Allison’s eyebrow raised high.

“So, I need all the details. All of them, ok?”

Stiles laughed, “do you want something to drink before I regale you with all my dirty stories?”

Allison’s eyes lit up, “dirty? Oh my god Stiles, just get water out the fridge and sit your ass down!” She yelled, and Stiles thought she would be bouncing up and down if she wasn’t so weighed down by her belly. She did as told, quickly grabbing the bottle of water and two glasses, before squishing onto the recliner with Alli, who was determined she sit as close as possible.

“Ok spill everything, things have been kind of shitty here, and I need a distraction.”

Stiles nodded, “fine, but I want to know what’s wrong when I finish, ok?”

Alli rolled her eyes but nodded.

“Ok, so I’ve been staying with Derek for a couple days now.”

“Well, we all gathered that, you two have suspiciously been missing.”

She giggles, “Alli, how can you sound so sordid when you have such a sweet voice?”

Allison lightly slapped her hand, “you know I’m pregnant right? You remember what that entails, right?”

“Yes, Snarky, I know what that means,” she laughed, “I actually also have something to tell you, along those lines.”

Allison grabbed her hand so hard Stiles was sure the bones were going to break, “are you pregnant?”

“Oh god, no,” she blushed, trying to release her hand, before giving in when she realized Alli was not letting go. “I actually had some blood tests done, for hormones and stuff?” She looked back to the front door, making sure Derek wasn’t creepily standing there, although she knew he had left, before looking back at Alli, “things are getting serious with Derek,” she shrugged, “I kind of asked Deaton, without actually _asking,_ if I’d be able to get pregnant.”

Allison’s jaw dropped, and she stared at Stiles for a while. She shifted uncomfortably until Allison released her hand a little. “Wow, where did that come from?”

She shrugged again, biting her lip for a little, “I’m just, you know the passages and the code I sent you?” Allison nodded, “um, I’ve also been talking to my mom.”

“Your dead mom?”

Stiles nodded slowly, feeling as crazy as Allison was thinking she was.

“Right. Conversations with dead mom, and then?”

“Well, she said that I make the decision to change back or stay like this, and once I make that decision, I’ll stay that way?”

“Well, what are you leaning towards?”

Stiles grimaced, “I don't know?” She hid her head in her hand, “god Alli, if you had told me a month ago that I’d be contemplating staying female, I’d have set fire to everything around me.”

Allison giggled, “so you are considering it?”

She shrugged, “maybe? I don’t know.”

“Well, what are the pros and cons?”

Stiles swallowed, wishing she could just send Alli her thoughts without them leaving her lips. “One part of me is worried Derek won’t still like me,” she lifted a hand when Alli opened her mouth to argue, “and I also think that maybe, I could imagine having kids now.” She whispered the last part, scrunching her eyes shut.

Neither she or Alli moved for a couple seconds until Allison grabbed Stiles’ hand and laced it over her belly, where a couple of forceful kicks pressed against the palm of her hand. Stiles looked up and smiled. She loved feeling the babies move and added her other hand to Allison’s belly.

“I fully recommend falling pregnant, but just maybe not with two.” She giggled, her own fingers trailed the side of her belly.

“Well, who’s fault is it that you are pregnant with two?”

“Scott,” Alli immediate answered, and they both laughed. “I don’t know, but I do know that I miss the rest of my house. I haven’t been able to move around in what feels like years.”

“I’m sorry Alli, but when you give birth, at least I’ll take one.”

“Sure,” she laughed, resting her head on Stiles’ shoulder. She stayed quiet, and Stiles moved a hand from her belly to grab Alli’s hand. “Stiles, things have been so tense with Scott recently. I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone, he won’t let me do anything.”

“He is just-“

“Looking after me, yes I know,” she snapped, before she sighed, “sorry, I mean I know he is just making sure I’m ok, but I feel like a prisoner in my own house.”

Stiles looked at her for a moment, before she got up, reaching out her hands to Alli’s, “come on then,” she smiled, and Alli’s eyes went wide.

“What?”

“Come,” she flexed her fingers, “let’s go do something. Whatever you wanna do, let’s go do it.”

Alli grabbed her hands, and Stiles gently pulled her to her feet, keeping hold of her hands to steady her.

“So, rules,” Alli groaned but Stiles ignored her, “the doctor said you should relax as much as possible, so I will make you rest, but what are we doing first?”

She smiles, and pulled Stiles in for a cuddle, “let’s go outside. I want to water the flowers.”

“Watering the flowers it is.” She guided Alli outside and sat her down on the chair while she grabbed the hose, taking the second privacy to shoot Derek a voice note. “Hey Der, please come back, but don’t come in. Tell Scott not to worry, but I have Alli outside, I just want you guys here in case we need you.”

She walked around to Alli to see her smiling, face angled towards the sun. “Come on mommy, lets water these plants.”

They both worked to get Allison standing, and Stiles walked slowly with Allison as she slowly walked the garden, watering as she went. She had a blissful smile on her face, and when the reached the table and chairs again, Stiles raised an eyebrow. “Fine, I’ll sit down.” She smiled as she did and sighed in content. “Thanks, Stiles.”

Stiles shrugged as she sat next to Alli, “you did all the hard work.”

Alli turned to her, a naughty smile on her face now, “so, what other dirty stories do you have?”

Stiles laughed, her cheeks heating, “god is that all you think about?”

“Um, I’m a pregnant woman, so heavily pregnant that my husband won’t touch me for fear of poking our unborn sons with his dick.”

“Ugh. Not sure I wanted that visual.”

“Well speak for yourself, I need all the sexy visuals I can get, so spill.”

“Um, what am I supposed to say?”

Allison laughed, “have you never shared sexy stories?”

Stiles looked at her like she was crazy, “no, it’s always been a one man, uh, woman show.”

“Hmmm ok well, I’ll teach you. Once,” she shifted to look at Stiles, smiling still, “I came home before I was with these guys,” she patted her belly, “and Scott was making dinner, which was massively sexy because I didn’t have to cook.”

“Wow, that’s a strange thing to find sexy Alli,” she giggled.

“Shhh, when you fall into domestic boredom, someone else doing your own chores is fucking sexy. Anyway, he was cooking, and it had me going from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds, so I pushed the dinnerware off the table, scaring him, and then we christened the dining table. A couple times.” She winked and Stiles laughed, not sure how she should feel about knowing this, especially since they had eaten there not so long ago. “So, tell me something!” She was grinning like a Cheshire cat, and it urged Stiles on

“Ok, so things have been getting a little sexually ignited, I guess?” she blushed, “like yesterday, we almost actually had sex?” She looked up at Alli, who was nodding a little.

“You realize I want more details, right?”

Stiles groaned, before laughing, “you are impossible! Um ok so I was going to just jump in the shower with him after he said we couldn’t, but he opened the door and pretty much told me to join him, and we might have had a little not so innocent fun in the shower, before we moved to my bed?”

“Oh my god yes, that’s what I’m talking about!” Allison squealed, and Stiles laughed nervously. “But you didn’t have sex?” Stiles shook her head, “did you want to?”

She but her lip, looking away for a little, “yes, but then I started worrying, what if I _can_ fall pregnant? Then that changed into thinking if falling pregnant would be all that bad, which had me thinking of all sorts of futures with Derek, and I kind of got swept away by the idea of having a family, a legitimate family, with him,” she sighed, “and then he didn’t actually like, _look_ at me, so I kind of thought he wasn’t into it?”

She wasn’t expecting the sudden smack to her arm, “Stiles, lesson one? If a guy is around, it’s because he wants to be. Pretty much no guy will stick around if he isn’t interested.”

“How do you know?”

She shrugged, “pretty sure Scott hates me sometimes, but he still comes home. Still makes late night runs to get me ginger tea. Or ice cream. Or that one time I wanted chicken livers.” She grimaced at the memory.

“Gross,” she laughed before she swallowed, “he did kind of say he didn’t look so I didn’t get uncomfortable.”

“Derek is a nice guy, at least of what we have seen before you both went into hiding together.”

They both laughed, and Stiles nodded, “he is nice. I really like him.”

She looked up to see Alli’s eyes watering, and she hastily rubbed them, “flipping hormones.” She sniffed, recomposing herself, “but you are thinking of being a woman, forever?” Stiles nodded shyly, “then I think you should make the decision only thinking about what you want, not what you and Derek wants. Like, he said he would want you as a guy or a girl but choose based on what either sex offers.”

Stiles nodded, looking out onto the garden. They sat in silence for a while, before Allison cleared her throat, and Stiles looked at her. “So, I know I had plans to take over the world and stuff, but I am so tired, can you help me inside to the recliner?”

Stiles nodded, and helped her inside, and sat on the other couch as Alli fell asleep quickly. The door opened when she was asleep, and Stiles looked over to see Scott with his finger to his lips. She got up and walked outside, followed by Scott and Derek.

“So, I kind of want to kill you for letting her do the garden,” he started, but Stiles jumped in.

“Listen here Scotty, she is exhausted, she will probably know next time not to do something like this. Also, would you rather she water the garden while I’m here, and not while you are on a food and drinks run?”

She watched as he clenched his jaw before he grabbed her and pulled her tight, wrapping his arms around her. “Thanks, Stiles, you are the best.”

She chuckled, hugging him back, “I know.”

She saw Derek looking at her over Scott’s shoulder, his brow lowered. She pulled away from Scott and walked to Derek, “what’s wrong?”

“I,” he looked up at Scott who took the moment to leave them alone. He looked down to her, keeping his arms pressed to his sides, fingers clenching and unclenching. “I heard what you said to Allison, that you were thinking of,” he stopped, his eyes searching hers for something.

She reached out a hand and grabbed his, “I don’t know what to do Derek, because earlier?” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, “it felt so _right._ Like being a woman, and maybe being able to fall pregnant, it felt that _that_ was all I wanted all of a sudden.”

He said nothing, pulling her into a tight hug, and she wrapped her arms around him.

“I will never pressure you, or resent your decision, but I really like that thought,” he spoke quietly in her ear, and he sniffed, his voice thick with tears.


	26. Chapter 26

Stiles watched, a small smile on her lips, as Scott woke Allison up, and apologized for being too protective. She shook her head when Allison’s response was to start crying, pulling him close and telling him to not apologize for wanting her and the babies to be ok.

She reached her hand over to Derek, and gripped his hand tightly, getting him to look at her. “Sap,” she teased, and he growled at her, making her laugh.

“Come here,” he mumbled, and pulled her closer, slotting her under his arm, leaning against his side. She sighed, moving down so her head was in her lap and she was looking up at him.

“I’m seeing Vern tomorrow.”

He nodded, “ok, what time?”

“Early. Then I need to do some work, I’ve been kinda crap at time keeping recently.”

He laughed, and ran a hand down the crown of her head, “what has you so distracted?”

“Naked men in my shower.” Scott’s gag broke the moment, and Stiles and Derek laughed, looking over to him. “And now?” She raised her eyebrows at him, and he shook his head.

“Naked men in your shower?”

“Oh yeah, it's my new business venture.”

Derek chuckled, flicking her ear lightly. “Ignore her.”

She laughed, “Derek’s just embarrassed, ignore _him.”_

“Let’s ignore everything and get food,” Allison suggested, and both men agreed quickly. “Didn’t you guys go out for food earlier?” She asked, eyes narrowed, and she watched as Derek and Scott quickly looked at Stiles, who shrugged.

“I was with Allison, I don’t know what you guys did, don’t look at me.” She smirked as she got up, heading to the kitchen to throw a quick pasta together, and feeding them all in record time.

“This was great Stiles, thanks.”

Stiles smiled at Allison and gave her plate to Derek who said he would wash, Scott offering to help, leaving Alli and Stiles alone outside.

“Thanks for coming today Stiles, will you come visit again this week?”

Stiles nodded, “of course,” she swallowed, remembering her period was due.

“Stiles, I know what week is coming, that’s why you have to come see me. Then you will see it’s all ok.”

She nodded and got up when Derek come to fetch her. “Thanks, Alli, I’ll call you, ok?” She bent to hug Alli before grabbing Derek’s hand and led them to the car. She got in quietly, and Derek started the car after glancing at her. They drove in silence for a while before Derek spoke up, quietly.

“Where do you want me to take you?”

She looked at him, “I should grab some clothes if I’m gonna stay with you, I can’t sleep in my clothes again.”

He frowned, “you wanna stay with me?”

“yeah, I said I did, why are you asking?”

“I thought you were upset?”

She glanced at him, before looking out her window with a sigh. “Not you, just, stuff I guess.”

He grabbed her thigh and she looked at him, “you can tell me. Or not, if that’s what you want.” He was about to pull his hand away when she grabbed it, holding it in place.

“I think we should get wine.” He raised his eyebrows, and she smiled, “please?”

He nodded, going to a liquor store and offering to grab a bottle, which she agreed to with a smile. She chewed her lip while he was gone, smiling and grabbing the wine when he returned. “So, now my house, I’ll grab clothes, and then to your house.” He nodded and drove to her house, slowly when he saw the cruiser outside. “Relax big guy, it's only my dad.”

“Who is the sheriff. And has arrested me.”

“Also, you have seen him since and it’s been fine, so stop stressing. Come in with me,” she leaned over to kiss him, and he nodded.

She opened the door, yelling out to her dad, “hey daddio, Derek and I are here.” She jumped when he appeared from the kitchen and went over to hug him.  “Hey dad.”

He laughed, “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Sorry, we’ll have to do better. I’m actually packing a bag and staying with Derek, but let’s do dinner,” she looked between her dad and Derek, “tomorrow night?”

They both shrugged, “wow don’t get too excited.” She walked up the stairs, hearing her dad laugh, and left Derek and her dad to talk as she quickly packed, and hurried downstairs when she was done, going into the kitchen to see Derek and her dad sitting at the breakfast nook, both nursing a beer. “Dad, you know alcohol doesn’t affect him, right?”

He nodded, “Derek just informed me as such, thank you.” She sniggered, shrugging. “So, what are we eating tomorrow? If you tell me anything made with tofu, I’m conveniently going to be too busy at work.”

Derek barked out a laugh, “god no, I’ll bring steak, sir.”

Noah clapped his shoulder, “that’s the stuff I like. Call me Noah, Derek.”

“Oh gees ok enough male bonding, bye dad,” she kissed her dad as Derek chugged his beer, “see you tomorrow at 7 pm, love you.”

Derek shook Noah’s hand and they both clambered int the car, Stiles looking over to Derek. “I forgot alcohol doesn’t affect you.” She looked guilty, and Derek laughed.

“It’s ok,” he started but Stiles jumped in.

“No, it's not ok, I wanted us to enjoy wine and only I’ll be enjoying it.” He regarded her for a moment, before he turned the car around and headed in the opposite direction from his house. “Where are we going?”

“To see Deaton.”

“Oh jesus, why?”

He laughed, “to ask him a question.”

She flicked her eyes to him, immediately nervous, “what question?”

He looked at her quickly, “about a strain of wolfsbane Peter used to carry with him for when he drank.” She sighed quickly, her shoulders sagging. “Why were you so worried?”

She swallowed, “I don’t know, thought you wanted to ask him about babies.”

He laughed, “I think I’d ask you first before I started asking Deaton questions.”

“Right. Seems obvious now,” she grumbled and looked up as they stopped outside of the clinic.

“Coming in?”

She hesitated before she got out and opened the door for her and Derek.

“Derek, Stiles, good to see you both.” She jumped, watching as he stepped from the dark.

“God, do you people take lessons in hiding and scaring people?” She clutched her heart, and Derek chuckled.

“Hi Deaton, I actually wanted to ask if you have any Kenyan wolfsbane?”

Deaton regarded him for a moment before he gestured with his head for them to follow into the examination room, and he grabbed a tray of vials from his ‘human’ cabinet, examining a couple before he passed one to Derek. “Do not let Stiles have any, it will make her sick. I’d start with a mixture of 1/2 teaspoon to every liter of alcohol, increase it as you find necessary.”

“How did you know he wanted it for alcohol?” Stiles asked, shaking her head.

Deaton looked at her for a moment, lips pursed with a slight smile, “it’s for alcohol or for an emergency contraception in werewolves. I assumed he wasn’t pregnant.”

She nodded, eyebrows high as she scowled at him.

“Thanks, Deaton, have a good evening.” Derek placed a hand on Stiles’ lower back, and led her to the car, giving her the vile with a stern look, as if she was actually stupid enough to try it after Deaton’s warning.

Just as Derek started the car, Deaton knocked on Stiles’ window, and she opened it. “Will you be able to come past tomorrow morning, I will have the results for you then.”

She nodded, and he patted the roof. Derek drove them to the Preserve, casting glances at Stiles the entire time, neither saying anything.

When they finally arrived at the house after their short hike, Stiles stopped to sit on the porch steps, trying to catch her breath. “You really need to clear the driveway.”

He laughed, “how about I do that tomorrow?”

She nodded, and he laughed again, “ok, now, you coming in, or are you staying here while I drink the wine?” She jumped to her feet and ran inside, squealing when Derek pinched her ass on the way past.

“Um, do you have glasses?”

She looked at him, and he shook his head, “I have mugs.”

“Great, let’s do this.” He shook his head, smiling, as he grabbed the mugs from another bloody cardboard box, and poured wine into both, before adding a small pinch of the wolfsbane to one mug, passing Stiles the other.

“Thanks,” she took and smiled, signing.

“So, you gonna tell me why you needed wine so bad?”

She nodded, going to sit against one of the walls, where Derek joined. “So, not sure if anyone has outed me, but I, uh, I usually kind of like hide, kinda, when I’m on my period?”

She expected something, other than his arm wrapping her shoulder and pulling her close. She settled after she got over the initial shock.

“You were embarrassed to tell me that?”

She shrugged, “well, kind of. I mean, I,” she shook her head.

He rubbed a hand up and down her back, “stop trying to fix everything at once, babe. We’ll work on it, together, if you’ll let me help.”

She shifted to look up at him, “why do you want to help?”

He frowned, “what does that mean?”

“No, I mean, wouldn’t it be easier to just let me sort it out?”

He shrugged, “maybe, but I want to help you. I told you, I want you to be in my life, I want to be in yours. Not as a temporary place filler, but as a long-term thing.” She watched as he blushed a little.

“You are really sweet. A little crazy, but sweet.”

He laughed, “why am I crazy?”

She sat up, smirking, “um, you have no idea what kind of she-bear I turn into during my period, that makes you kind of crazy.”

He laughed, “a she-bear, huh?” He reached over and grabbed her, pulling her so she straddled his lap, facing each other. “I bet I could find a couple ways to calm that she-bear down.” He kissed up her neck as she laughed.

“Well I wish you all the luck in the world,” she whispered against his lips.


	27. Chapter 27

She woke early the next morning, stretching in the tent before she noticed Derek wasn’t beside her. She pulled out her phone calendar and saw she had 2 more days until her period was due. She got out of the tent before she could overthink, and went outside, seeing Derek was standing next to a fire.

“Der, what you doing?” She walked over to him, seeing a pot above the fire.

“Making us some coffee,” he rubbed his neck, “don’t have a kettle yet, so I-“ She cut off his words with a kiss, smiling at him when she pulled away.

“You are so cute when you worry. Thank you,” she wrapped her arms around him, “I need to leave in about 40 minutes, go see Vern, then Deaton, then I need to head home to work for a little. If I’m done early, I’ll come see you here?”

He nodded, “yeah, that’s fine. I’ll do the shopping for dinner.”

“Oh yeah, dinner. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I was the one to tell your dad I’d bring steak, and I know what steak to buy. You’d try to circumvent the system and buy a soybean steak or something equally awful.”

She laughed, and hit his chest, “so rude, wow.”

He kissed her forehead, pulling away to pour the hot water into the waiting mugs, passing Stiles the coffee.

“Sorry, I only have instant and no milk.”

“Stop worrying, it has caffeine in, so I’ll like it.”

He laughed and shook his head as they walked inside. Stiles dressed quickly, drinking her coffee before kissing Derek goodbye.

“See you later, Der,” she smiled as she walked away, heading through the Preserve to the Camaro, heading to Vera.

She was early, but Vera saw her arrive and told her to come in, as she had no one before her. “So, how are you, Stiles?”

She nodded, frowning a little, “um I guess I’m good? Been a busy week.”

Vern sat back, pushing her glasses up her nose, “how so?”

Stiles began retracing her week, from how she was unexpectedly now in a relationship, and how she had figured out more about the curse, to how she had been feeling about her upcoming period. She talked until she felt out of breath, feeling like she had never said so much in one sitting before, and she was _well_ known for being extremely talkative, so that was saying something.

“Sounds like you also are feeling a little more at ease with being a woman?”

She nodded, “I did some of that homework, so like I started Yoga with Derek, which I hate, but also kind of don’t? It makes me feel better when it’s over.”

Vern laughed, “most exercise works that way. What else did you do?” Stiles blushed a little, and Vern added quietly, “you know this is a judgment free area.”

“Um, ok, well one of the other things was to-“ she swallowed and changed her mind about saying anything about touching herself, “have a massage, which I didn’t, but I was supposed to, and I will.”

Vern smiled, seeing right through Stiles, but didn’t pull her up, “well I am glad you are trying some of the homework, it will help. As you can see from our last session, you already seem a little more at ease.”

Stiles nodded, “yeah, I guess I am. But I’m still nervous about like, having a period in front of people.”

Vern smiled, “just keep reminding yourself that women, every day, are in public while they have a period. You will be fine. That will be your homework this week, just to be outside, with people, while on your period.”

Stiles nodded and found herself soon sitting in the Camaro, feeling a little lighter, her thoughts a little clearer. She sighed, and drove to Deaton, going straight to the back to see him. He wasn’t in the examination room, so she went to the surgery room, looking through the window in the door and waving to him. He waved her in. “Stiles, the scrubs are in that cupboards.” She nodded, not touching anything as she grabbed them, and threw them on before she grabbed the antiseptic fluid and washing her hands and forearms thoroughly, aware of Deaton smiling at her.

“Well, you arrived at the perfect time.” She raised her eyebrows at him, and he nodded to the dog in the cage waiting for his or her surgery. She looked at the little Maltese and saw the gash on the back of its neck. “If you would please do sutures, and I’ll start on the tumour removal of Duke Lordington.”

“Who?”

He laughed, “a French Poodle,” he shook his head, “that little guy,” he looked at the Maltese, “is Max.”

She nodded, and walked over to the cage, “hi Max,” she opened the door and grabbed him gently, grimacing at the wound, “what did you do?” She carried him to the table, and Deaton administered the anesthetic, telling Stiles where to find the suture kits. When he returned with a bright purple Poodle, Stiles was already doing the stitches although she had to stop when she saw the Poodle and laughed. “That’s Duke Dukington?”

“Duke _Lordington,_ ” he corrected with a smile, and she nodded.

“Of course, my apologies, Duke Lordington.” She giggled, before concentrating on the Maltese, with Deaton removing a tumour from Duke’s abdomen. “Ok, I’m finished Deaton,” she looked up, and he quickly came to see the stitches, smiling.

“Very neat, well done. Put that ointment on it, no bandage necessary. That vile,” he pointed through the glass door of the fridge, “take out 3.5ml, and administer it through the IV.”

She stared at him but he went back to Duke. She swallowed, covering the area in the ointment he had left out, and then grabbed the vile and taking it to Deaton, “this one?” He nodded, and she grabbed a needle, removing exactly 3.5ml, showing him when he looked up, and he nodded again. She replaced the vial in the fridge and slowly administered the drug, watching with her jaw slack as Max started waking. “Hi boy,” she massaged down his ribs as she had seen Deaton do before before he stretched and opened his eyes.

“Well done Stiles, if you would please take him, with the IV drip, to the recovery room, cage 4.” She nodded, and picked him up gently, taking him to cage 4. She returned just as Deaton was finishing up with Duke, watching him wake slowly. She removed the scrubs, placing them in the medical box that said ‘used scrubs’, and waited for Deaton in the examination room. He came in a few minutes later, “well done with Max, I’m proud of you.”

She laughed, “thanks? Wasn’t exactly planning on working, what happened to him?”

“He got his head stuck in the container of his food. I cut his head out of the container last night, but we had to wait to do surgery until he had digested the food. He ate quite a lot. He had done a lot of damage trying to get out himself, as you saw.”

“Right.”

He passed her an envelope, “the results are normal for women.”

She swallowed, “so what does that mean?”

He shrugged, and began looking through his cabinets, “depends, what are you asking?”

She swallowed, looking at the envelope for several long moments. “Should I find a doctor?”

He looked up then, frowning, “do you not trust my results?”

“No, I do, I mean, if it’s all coming up as normal female ranges, does that mean I should be seeing a doctor, without worrying that they will find something weird?”

“Weird as in?”

“Weird as in ‘oh she has male chromosomes how odd’ weird.”

“No, everything shows you are a woman. If you felt the need to see a doctor, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Right.”

He waited a moment, “what were you hoping these would tell us?”

She shrugged, blushing. “I, me and Derek, I might,” she shrugged again, before spilling the words quickly, before she could hold them back, “I wanted to know if I could fall pregnant if I decided to.” She bit her lips, her eyes scrunched tight. She felt Deaton take the envelope from her, and she heard it open.

“Seems like that is possible.” He waited, and she looked up to him, “I have an ultrasound machine, we could do a quick abdominal exam to check?”

She nodded, her lips still between her teeth, and he told her to get onto the table. He grabbed a pillow from the human cabinet, passing it to her and left. She got up and pulled up her shirt to show her belly. He returned with a small portable Ultrasound machine, and stared it up, squeezing cold gel onto her belly, and used the probe to smear it around, before he pushed down, and looked at the screen. He moved it around for a while, before he moved the screen, “you have a uterus. Ovaries,” he pointed to the screen, “fallopian tubes. Its all here.” He removed the probe and gave her tissue to wipe her belly. “If you were to choose, you could fall pregnant, your hormones are right. You have the right body parts.” She sat up, pulling her shirt down, and stared at the floor. “Stiles?”

She took a deep breath, “can I be honest?” He nodded, and she continued, “the idea of being able to have kids, I kind of like it.”

He nodded again, “as a man, you can father children.”

She looked up, “so if I changed, I’d be able to get someone else pregnant?”

“Yes, as always. You would be a man again.”

She chewed her lip, “thanks Deaton, I’m gonna go home. Thanks again.” She grabbed her results and headed out the door, missing Deaton’s farewell. She got into the Camaro, and drove home, heading straight up the stairs to work, to keep her mind busy on something else, that wasn’t babies.

 

Several hours later, her phone rang, and she smiled when she saw it was Derek.

“Hey Der, what’s up?”

“Hey babe, I wanted to ask a favour. Don’t come here, I’ll meet you at your house later, ok?”

“Sure, why?”

“I haven’t finished the driveway, and if you get here, I know you well enough that you will distract me.”

She laughed, and then faked shock, “how rude, I would _never.”_

He chuckled, “sure, of course not. So, I’ll see you at 7. Did everything go ok today?”

She nodded, “yeah, but we’ll talk about it later, ok?”

“Of course, I miss you.”

She laughed when he put the phone immediately, and she focused on work, managing to catch up on all the work she had put off for the better part of a week.

At 6 pm, she jumped in the shower and grabbed a dress, throwing it on just as she heard the front door open. “Stiles?”

“Hey dad, I’ll be there now, just getting ready.”

“Don’t rush, I need a shower.”

She heard him close his door, and a moment later the water started running. She went down when she was dressed, and set the table, doing quick tidying when her dad came down, redressed and looking calm.

She gave him a hug, and as she pulled away, the doorbell rang. She looked at the time and saw Derek was 10 minutes early.

“I’ll get it,” her dad said and she smiled, going to grab some water. “Stiles?”

“Yeah?”

“You should come out here.” Her dad sounded strange, and she got worried. She quickly walked to the door, seeing he didn’t look like anything was wrong, and he pointed out the door. She followed his gaze and saw Derek standing with a bouquet of red roses, standing next to Roscoe.

She swallowed, her eyes wide, as she looked at her Jeep. The paint was new, still baby blue, but _new._

Derek walked to her, and pecked her on the lips, “here’s the key,” he placed the key in her hand and she looked at him. “Go on,” he smiled.

She walked slowly to the Jeep, unlocking it, and opening the door, her jaw falling to the floor. “Der, what did you do?”

“I want you to be safe, and I know how much your Jeep means to you, so figured I’d fix him up.”

The sheriff laughed, and Stiles looked up at him questioningly. “You convinced Derek to call the jeep a 'him'?”

She chuckled, “you know, I can be quite persuasive at times.”

“Hmm”, he replied.

“Pop the bonnet.” She looked at Derrek before doing as he said, her dad moving closer. She pulled the bonnet open and laughed. There was no duct tape or cardboard.

“Wow. Where did you have it fixed Derek? This thing needed a hell of a lot of work.”

Stiles looked up as Derek shrugged, his cheeks darkening. “I only had the paint resprayed by someone else, I did the rest.”

“What? You fixed Roscoe by yourself?”

He looked at her smiling, “I have done barely no building in the last few days, I can’t believe you didn’t figure out what I was doing.”

She laughed, “I can’t believe you did this,” she went over, wrapping her arms around him, and smiled when his lips connected with her head.

“Anything for you” he whispered, only loud enough for her to hear. He pushed her away and spoke louder, “turn it on.”

She blushed, “I bet it sounds like a real car now?”

He shrugged, and she went to the car, getting in and starting him up. She started laughing again, tears flooding her eyes, as she heard how good he sounded. “Thanks, Der,” she whispered, knowing he would hear from outside, over the healthy engine.

“Thank you, Derek,” Stiles looked up at her dad as he spoke, and she saw how hard he was trying to control his emotions.

“It’s no problem, Noah.”

The sheriff nodded and headed inside. Stiles turned the car off, and walked over to Derek, laying her head on his chest. “Thank you, I can’t believe you did this.”

He chuckled, “I figured it was cheaper than buying another Camaro.”

She snorted, covering her nose. “Probably.”

“You can drive my car whenever you want, I don’t actually mind being seen in Roscoe now.”

She laughed and smacked his chest, wiping her eyes, “don’t you be mean to my beautiful baby.”

He pulled her close, “fine, I won’t.” They stayed silent for a while before Derek began pulling away, “let’s go eat a good steak.”

“I will allow it this time just because Roscoe looks amazing.”

“Mhmm,” he looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

“You’re right, I’ll eat your meat anytime.”

She walked away as he started choking on his laughter.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly I battled to write today, so I'm sorry, this is short and pretty pointless, but hey!

“I’m fairly sure you have never eaten a steak that I’ve cooked, with as much sheer happiness.”

Her dad swallowed, staring at her, “that’s because you don’t feed me steak.”

She stifled a chuckle and looked over to Derek, who was smiling at her. He winked at her, and she giggled, looking down at her plate. She liked this, she liked how easily her dad and Derek got along. She liked how it felt to spend time with people again. She stood, once everyone was finished, and grabbed the dishes, shoving them into the dishwasher as her dad and Derek were discussing sports. She wasn't paying enough attention that she knew _what_ sport, but that didn’t bother her anyway. She looked out the window and smiled as she saw the rain, gentle but persistent, running down the pane. She opened it slightly, breathing deep, and closing her eyes.

“Where are you staying Derek?”

“I’ve been staying at the house, so I can work on it as much as possible. I don’t sleep much.”

“Hmmm.” Stiles turned to look at them and saw her dad glance at her. “Well, I can’t let you stay in a house with no roof, son. Not when it's raining. The department would frown on that.” She bit her lip, knowing this had _nothing_ to do with the department. “You’ll stay here tonight. I’m sure we can find a blanket for the-“

“Hey hey, dad,” her eyebrows lowered, “as much as I appreciate the gesture, you realize when I stay with Derek, he doesn’t have a spare bedroom. Or a lounge.”

She saw the tick of his jaw, before he tried to sigh discreetly, “fine, just,” he stood, looking at Stiles with a seriousness she hadn’t seen in a long time, “no,” he wiggled his head in an odd manner, and she smiled, moving to hug him.

“Yeah dad, no,” she moved her head in much the same manner, and he laughed, muttering about sarcasm. “I’m off to bed, I have to be in early tomorrow, goodnight. Derek, thanks for the steak. You are welcome by anytime, just bring those steaks every once in a while, right?”

Derek laughed, and nodded, “sure thing, thank you. And good night.” He called up the stairs, before looking back at Stiles. “So, that was dinner with your father.”

“Mmm,” she smiled, sauntering up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling her body close to his, “so it would seem.” She nuzzled under his jaw, smiling when he moved his head a little, and kisses his throat, “don’t bring steaks when you come back, or I will beat you to death with them.” She kissed again as she felt him laugh, his arms tightening around her.

“You know, your father has a gun. You don’t. Also, being beaten with a steak? I don’t think it would inflict that much damage.”

She pulled back to glare at him, “I will freeze them first.”

He pulled his hand to his heart, a look of faux-shock on his features, “you cannot freeze a steak! That goes against my steak laws!”

She nodded, “yip, I’ll freeze them. Then defrost them.” His faux-shock increased, and she almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked, “and then I’ll refreeze them. And _then_ I’ll beat you with them.”

He finally broke, and laughed, burrowing his face in her shoulder, “you are the most inventive woman I know.”

“Is that a nicer way of telling me I’m crazy?”

“Yes.” He didn’t even hesitate, and it made her laugh, placing her head against his chest.

“Shut up, you big dork.” She quickly turned to kiss him, “come to bed.” His eyes shone red for a moment, and she licked her bottom lip, “what?”

He shook his head a little, “I don’t know, I like how that sounds.”

“You’re a sap,” she whispered, and he nodded, kissing her.

When he pulled away, she had a dazed smile on her lips, “you make me a sap.”

She laughed, and pushed away from his chest, laughing when she saw his confused eyebrows. “That, it just sounds like the Notebook.”

His eyebrows moved further up, so she continued, rolling her head as she explained, leaning back in his arms, her arms out behind her. “If I’m a bird, you’re a bird,” she giggled, screeching when he pulled her tight and turned quickly. He lifted her onto the counter, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms snaking around his neck. “What are you doing Der?” She murdered, her lips brushing against his, and she flicked out her tongue to lick his lip.

His responding growl went straight down her spine and she scooted forward almost instinctually, pressing herself close to him, smiling and biting her lip when she felt his dick press against her, and he thrust forward a little, making her moan at the contact.

“We should go to bed,” she breathed, and he nodded, latching his lips to her neck. He grabbed her thighs and carried her up the stairs, grumbling low in his throat as Stiles moaned, making her clamp her lips shut, keeping silent as they passed her father's room. He quietly entered her room, and turned, backing her up to her door to close it. The second he heard the latch click, he twisted his hips, silencing her moan with his lips, her fingers scratching his neck, desperate for him to be closer.

He rested his forehead on hers, and she groaned. “Ah, gees are you starting this shit again?”

He chuckled, and nodded, before letting her slide down to her feet. “Yes, because fuck knows I’m not doing _anything_ while your dad is literally right next door.”

“Gah, you are such a spoilsport,” she playfully smacked at his arm, but he pulled out the way. “Fine, well, do you wanna shower?”

He laughed, his eyes screwing up, “I would, but you cannot, and I mean _cannot_ come in.”

“Oh my god, are you the fun police now?”

He laughed again, “shut up, do you want to shower first?”

She shook her head, “nah, I showered before you came, so go, get your glorious ass in the shower, and I’ll warm the bed.”

He kissed her quickly, and went off to the bathroom, while she grabbed pjs and threw them on quickly, jumping into the bed. She sat, feeling anxious, while she listened to him shower, looking up when the water shut off. She gripped her fingers, just as Derek opened up the door, looking at her quizzically, “you ok?”

She shrugged, “nervous.”

He laughed quietly, climbing into bed with her, pulling her tight against his chest, “why? We have slept together a good couple times now.”

She shrugged again, “welcome to anxiety, Derek.” She sighed, “this is like, lesson 1. If there is nothing to be anxious about, your body still reacts.”

He traced his fingers up and down her side, “how can I help?”

She smiled, “if you figure _that_ out, please let me know for future.”

He shifted so she was laying next to him, facing each other. “My therapist used to tell me, on the days when I felt I had nothing to say, that I should just start.”

She sniggered, “You aren’t my therapist though, Der.”

“I know, but maybe it will help.”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Ok. Well.” She hesitated, and he grabbed her hand.

“Ok, how did things go with Vern today?”

“Oh, yeah it went fine.”

“And Deaton?”

She looked up at him, swallowing. “Um, well, my blood work is all normal.” She mumbled, looking down at the bed.

He frowned, grasping her arm again, “normal as in?”

“Normal as in I am, for all intents and purposes, a woman. If I went to a normal doctor, I wouldn’t confuse anyone with my DNA or something.”

“Ok, and-“

“And I have a uterus. I mean, it makes sense, because, duh, period, but still, a uterus?” She rubbed her throat, “god, and I,” she moved closer, resting her head on his bicep, “what do I do?” She whispered, his arms moving to encircle her, holding her tight.

“We figure that out when we have to,” he murmured, his lips in her hair. “Let's just sleep, and we’ll take it one day at a time.” She tilted her head to kiss him, before settling back on his bicep. “We have forever to figure it all out.”


	29. Chapter 29

She smiled as he kissed her temple, his arms tight around her.

“I like waking up next to you on a good day, but in an actual bed? Even better.”

He laughed quietly and kissed her again. “Well, I have some good news then.”

She managed to turn in his arms, and loved the sight of his messy hair on her pillows, “and that would be?”

“I officially have a ceiling downstairs, and a floor upstairs.”

She smiled, and rolled over on top of him, “that’s awesome news, why didn’t you say anything last night?”

He shrugged, running his fingers through her hair, “I knew your dad was offering me more than a place to sleep last night. It was like his way of saying us dating is ok. I wasn’t going to throw that back at him.”

She smiled, and kissed his lips quickly, “I didn’t even think of that.”

“You remember I can sense chemo-signals, right?”

“As if I’d forget that, you know exactly when I’m getting turned on, and then you pull on the brakes.”

He laughed, before he sat up, moving her so she was straddling his lap, “yes, that’s the only reason I ever read your chemo-signals. Come, let’s go make breakfast.” She shook her head and he laughed, “why not?”

 _“You_ make breakfast, and I’ll drink coffee.”

He stood up, taking her with him before he let her down on the floor, “fine, you make coffee, I’ll make breakfast.”

They went downstairs, and Stiles knew without Derek pointing it out that her dad had left already. She quickly threw the coffee together, watching as Derek started making their food.

“When is Cora getting here?”

He looked up, his brow pinched, “Cora? Why?”

“I thought you said she was coming to live here?”

He looked back at the bacon, before he looked up to her, “that was the plan. She called about a week ago, she met someone in Mexico.”

“Oh.” She stared into her cup for a moment before looking up at Derek, “that upsets you?”

He shrugged, “just wanted my family close. Peter won’t be moving in, that didn’t work out well for us last time, but I had really thought Cora would have, I was looking forward to it.”

She watched him plate up their food, before he sat next to ger, taking a sip of his coffee. She placed her hand on his knee and he looked at her, “I’m sorry.”

He smiled, “it’s not for you to apologize for, babe.”

“Yeah I know, but I can tell it bugs you.”

He shrugged, “maybe it’s a sign I’ll have to get someone else to move in with me.”

She put her elbows on the table, and rested her chin in her hands, “what’s she like?” She asked in a high-pitched voice, making him laugh.

“Reckless, impulsive, irritating.”

“Oooh, she sounds liked a dream boat,” she poked him in the ribs, “can I have her number?”

He dropped his head, laughing, “oh god just eat please.”

She chuckled as she finished her breakfast, and Derek demanded that he clean the kitchen because she had the night before, even after she pointed out he had cooked both times.

“What we doing today?”

He led her upstairs and grabbed his clean clothes from the box he had left in her room a couple of days earlier. “Well, that’s part of the good news I mentioned earlier.”

She squinted at him, smiling suspiciously. He raised an eyebrow quickly before he dropped his pants and stepped out of them, and she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, making no effort to hide her eyeing his naked body.

“You should get dressed if we are gonna leave at all today.”

She looked up at his face, and swallowed, nodding quickly. She whipped her shirt off, followed by her panties without a second thought, and smiled when she heard him growling. “I thought you’d go into the bathroom to change,” he groaned, taking two massive steps until he grabbed hold of her, and pulled her tight against his body, before her back hit the wall. She pushed him away a little, and he looked down, confused, until she used the space to jump, wrapping her legs around his waist. He moaned the moment his hands came down to grab her ass to pull her up higher, making her throw her head back when she felt his dick rubbing her in all the right places. He pressed her against the wall again, his hips never ceasing to move, and soon she was panting, breathless against his shoulder, her fingers digging into his back.

“Fuck, you make me feel so out of control sometimes,” he ground out, his lips close to her ear, “you never do anything I think you will, like now,” he thrust his hips forward with more force and she moaned at the sudden change in tempo.

“You like it though,” she tried to be snarky, but it came out in a whisper, ending in a whine.

“I never said I didn’t,” he leaned down and captured her lips, continuing to rub up against her. He could feel her thighs shaking around his hips, and he knew it wouldn’t be long for her to come if they continued. “Do you want me to stop?” He said quietly against her lips, but she shook her head quickly.

“If you stop I will probably die.”

He laughed at her dramatics, and nodded, “ok, I won’t stop.” He moved them to the bed, Stiles groaning when the movement caused him to stop rutting against her. He placed her on the bed, and he tried to take a moment to just look at her, but she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down, her legs tightening around his waist and pulling him towards her with a snap, and she threw her head back at the renewed contact. Placing his hands next to her waist, he lifted himself a little, before he continued to rub his dick against her, making a point of aiming for her clit. Her fingers dug into his skin again, and her legs began shaking again.

“Fuck, if you stop,” she started, but he kissed her quickly.

“I won’t, I won’t,” he rested his forehead against hers, and wished, beyond all reasonable thought, that he could fuck her. He focused on keeping his hips moving, and smiled when her breaths became shorter and choppier, until her legs clamped tighter around his waist and she was coming, her hips rising to match his movements. He buried his nose in her neck, and came with a grunt, his thrusts harder, her moans encouraging him. He stilled after several moments, and he smiled when he felt her legs shakily release him, falling to the bed with a thump.

“Fuck,” she breathed out, and he lifted his head to look at her. Her lips were swollen, her cheeks red, and her eyes shut tight. He kissed her, and her fingers finally released his skin and began tracing his upper back and shoulders. “Was that the good news?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “no, this was,” he chuckled once, “unexpected. The news was that we get to go buy a bed for my house today.”

Her eyes snapped open, “can we christen it tonight?”

He laughed, and pulled himself away from her, before pulling her to her feet and to the bathroom. “Shower only, Stiles,” he looked at her sternly, but she smiled in a way that told him she wasn’t listening. “If we just shower, we can find a way to christen the bed tonight.”

“Yes,” she drew the word out, and started the shower, pulling him in, making out while the water warmed. He finally pushed her away and made a quick job of cleaning himself off before he got out. “Ah no that was too short,” she started complaining and moved to watch him dry off.

“I told you, shower now, fun time later.”

“Why not fun time now too,” she muttered to herself as she went back under the water, cleaning off and switching the water off before she grabbed her towel. She left the bathroom and frowned when she saw he was already dressed. “Gees, did you rush?”

He looked at her, and nodded, “yes, I know you, so I did rush. Now get dressed and let's go.” She pulled her tongue at him but did as told, grabbing her clothes. She turned with a smirk, dropping the towel, only to find the room empty.

“Der?”

She heard him laughing from downstairs, “I left, didn’t wanna get distracted when you try something.”

“Rude,” she grumbled to herself, pulling on her jeans and a tank top, before going down to meet him. “So, off to buy a bed?”

He nodded, grabbing the Jeeps’ key, “and a couple other items, like a fridge.”

“A coffee machine?”

He laughed at her hopeful expression, “sure, and a coffee machine.”

 

They had to arrange for the items to be delivered, so they went back to the Preserve to wait. She smiled as they got closer to the house, and she could see it was starting to look like a real house. “Holy crap you weren’t joking.”

“I wouldn’t buy a bed if I didn’t have a roof to put it under.”

“Oh, shh,” she giggled, getting out and running up the porch steps. She waited impatiently as he walked slowly towards her before he held out his hand.

“What’s this?” She frowned as she reached out, and he dropped a key in her hand.

“This is me asking if you really will move in.”

She looked between the key and Derek’s face a couple times, “seriously?”

He nodded, “I did mean it earlier when I said I’d want you to move in. Even if Cora was living here, I’d still want you to live with me.”

She looked back to the key before she reached into her bag and grabbed her house keys, adding the new key to her set. She looked up at him smiling, “so now we are roommates.”

He laughed, and pulled her in for a hug, “sure, roommates. Was kinda hoping we’d be more than roommates,” he trailed off, staring into her eyes.

“That depends,” she whispered, “are we gonna have sex?”

He tried to cover his smile by scowling, but wasn’t that successful, “what if we just continue to have mutual orgasms like we did this morning?”

“Hmmm,” she leaned back on the door, pretending to think, “what if we have mutual orgasms _while_ we have sex?”

He laughed, and grabbed his own key, unlocking the door, “go inside, take your one track mind with you.”

She smirked at him and winked before she entered the house. “Whoa, you even finished the rooms down here.” She looked up the plain wooden stairs, and walked around them, into the lounge, before she continued to the kitchen, which was mostly bare, apart from a tap that had been installed. “I had to have the walls finished before we could add the concrete slab above us,” he pointed over her shoulder, and she followed his gaze, seeing a door.

“What’s in there?”

He smiled, “if you pull the handle down, you’ll find out.”

She shook her head smiling, and moved to open the door, laughing when she saw the small bathroom, fitted with a toilet and a sink. “You added a bathroom downstairs?”

He nodded, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, “well, you did point out that I probably needed one down here, so I made the changes to the floor plans.”

She turned in his arms, “I’m beginning to get the impression that you listen to me.”

“Oh shit,” he said, his eyes gleaming.

“Oh, shit is right, because now you have set a precedent.” He laughed, before he looked away, eyes trained on the front door, and Stiles almost laughed. “You all do that, it’s so funny.”

“Who does what?” He asked looking back at her.

“All the werewolves I know look up when they hear a noise, it’s like watching puppies stuck in human bodies.” She screamed when he grabbed her ribs and tickled her, before he let go and walked to the front door, swinging it open just as a man was walking up the steps.

“Mr. Hale?” Derek nodded. “Where do you want us to drop this stuff?”

“Straight inside, to the left. I’ll move it all around later.”

Stiles watched, her jaw falling open, as one of the men picked up the fridge, and walked inside. The man who spoke to Derek looked worried for a moment, his eyes snapping to Derek’s in apologies before Derek laughed. “Stiles, they are were’s too.”

“Well no shit,” she pointed at the man who picked up the 12-seater dining table like it weighed nothing, before taking it inside.

Stiles laughed again when the guy who spoke to Derek shook his head, before picking up 6 of the stacked chairs and carrying them inside. Derek moved closer to Stiles, who was giggling to herself. “What?”

She looked up at him, and grabbed his hand, “it probably shouldn’t have surprised me that you aren’t the only werewolves around here.”

Derek laughed and shook his head, “no, there are a lot of us.”

She shook her head again before she grabbed her car key, “I think I’ll go buy some food, fill up the fridge?” He nodded, and grabbed his wallet out his pocket, handing her his credit card. “Why do I need this?”

He shrugged, “I want you to use it. Go crazy.”

She laughed, “oh you asked for it, Hale!” She stood on her toes and kissed him, before she drove off to the shop. She and Derek had purchased the bedding earlier, so she didn’t have to worry about that, but she wanted to try fill the kitchen with whatever they needed. In the end, she grabbed enough food to last a month in a normal household, but knew that a month meant nothing to werewolves, and the food wouldn’t last the weekend. She also made a stop past a home store, and stocked up on plates, bowls, mugs, glasses and cutlery. She grimaced when she packed it all in the car, feeling bad for weighing Roscoe down so soon after being repaired, and set off back to Derek’s, before she pulled over, and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. She looked over her shoulder at the groceries, before looking out the window to the cloudy sky. It wasn’t that hot that she felt she had to worry, so pulled out her phone, and dialled Lydia.

“Hey, Lyds.”

“Stiles, how are you?”

“Uh, I’m fine. I actually need your help.”

“With?”

“Um, girl stuff?”

Lydia laughed, “where do you want to meet?”

Stiles blushed a little, “can we meet at the mall?”

“Sure, see you in about 20.”

Stiles turned around, and headed for the mall, picking a spot under a tree, just in case the sun poked out at some point. She saw Lydia’s car and climbed out of her own, waving her down, and stood back as Lydia parked next to her.

“So, what are you looking for?” Lydia looked into the Jeep, and saw the groceries and kitchen items, “is this for Derek’s house?”

Stiles nodded, “I, uh, I was thinking of buying something else.”

Lydia’s eyebrows raised, “such as?”

She swallowed, and smiled, “lingerie.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about a quick 3 am chapter? :)  
> It's a long weekend, so I'm heading off to a gorgeous little town a few hours away, and I'm not exactly sure what I'm gonna do when I get there, so here's an early update! I will still be able to update daily this weekend; the apocalypse wouldn't be able to stop me!

Stiles left the mall, her face still red from the whole ordeal. Lydia had been determined that Stiles try on the lingerie, and then show her. They eventually picked something that they both agreed upon. Stiles was sure it was meant to be comfortable, so that’s why she liked this particular set, while Lydia had made a point of saying that lingerie was meant to be taken off. As if that was helpful at all. She thought about the small package hidden in her handbag and blushed a little again.  She shook her head as she drove up the driveway, surprised to see the Camaro parked outside. She parked next to it, and got out, hearing the front door open.

“Hey babe,” he called as he walked towards her.

“Hi, why is your car here?”

“Went to get it while you were gone. You were gone a long time,” he looked in the Jeep, “do I have any money left?”

She laughed, and shook her head, “nope, I spent every cent.”

“Ah, what a pity.”

They laughed as he opened the back and grabbed more than half the bags. “How do you do that?” She picked up two and felt like any more would kill her. She followed him into the house and smiled when she saw all the new items, unwrapped and sitting around the lounge like some sort of appliance party. She giggled, and put the bags on the floor by her feet, “are you leaving everything like this?”

He appeared next to her, and she looked up to see him staring at the items, frowning, “of course not, why?”

She dropped her voice, “hi, I’m a dishwasher.” She changed her voice again, “hi dishwasher, I’m the bed.” She laughed when Derek shook his head and walked outside before he came back in with the rest of the shopping.

“You bought plates?”

She turned to look at him and nodded, “yeah, we needed some.” He smiled, kissing her as he walked past to the kitchen. “What?”

He came back and hugged her, “just like that you said ‘we’,” he shrugged, “sounds right.”

“Of course it does, because-“ she was interrupted by her phone ringing, and she went to grab it, answering with a smile. “Hey Scotty.” Her smile fell from her lips the moment he started talking, and Derek moved closer listening to the call.

“Allison has gone into early labour, we are at the hospital.”

“Ok, we’ll be there in about 15 minutes, tell her I’ll be there.”

Derek grabbed his car key and ushered her out the door, leaving all the shopping strewn about the kitchen. He drove quickly, getting them to the hospital in just over 10 minutes. She walked in, feeling calm, and waved at Melissa.

“Hey, where are they?”

“Room 4, maternity private suites.”

“Thanks,” she hugged Melissa and they went off, with Derek pulling her in the right direction when she took a wrong turn. “Are you using your werewolf skills?”

He nodded, giving her a small smile, “I can hear babies _and_ women screaming. Kind of hard to miss.”

She was laughing as he led her through the maternity doors, and a nurse stopped them, “excuse me, this is a ward for pregnant women and partners, and you don’t look pregnant to me, honey.” She pursed her lips and Stiles frowned.

“I’m here to help my friend, room 4? Allison McCall.”

The nurse shook her head as Scott came around the corner, “Stiles, come!” Derek pushed her lower back, getting her to move.

“Go, I’ll see you later.”

She nodded and followed Scott, edging around the angry nurse, before Scott pointed to room 4. “Allison has threatened to kill me 3 times already.”

“Wow, she is doing well then!” She sniggered and entered the room, “hey Alli, gimme the run down, how are you feeling?”

She groaned, clutching her belly as a contraction hit, and Stiles grabbed her free hand, letting Allison squeeze it. “Like I want to give you two babies because they are killing me.”

“Ah they aren’t killing you,” Stiles started but Scott began waving his hands in front of his neck.

“Well it certainly feels like it, Stiles,” she snarled, and Stiles nodded.

“Uh, ok, so news flash, I’m moving in with Derek.” She smiled as Allison suddenly looked at her, a small smile on her face.

“For real?”

She nodded, “Yeah,” she grabbed her house keys from her bag, and showed the key to Allison, “he gave it to me today.”

“Aw,” Allison wiped at a stray tear as she touched the key, “I’m so happy for you Stiles.”

“Me too,” she pretended to fan eyes to stop tears that weren't there and Allison giggled, “I even made him buy plates and shit.” Allison laughed, settling back as Stiles sat down next to her, grabbing her hand, “so where’s everyone else?”

Allison looked at Scott before she looked at Stiles, “who?”

“I don’t know, the rest of your birthing group?”

Allison snorted, “my birthing group is you and Scott, who else would be here?”

“Not Lydia?”

“Lydia told me she would come see the babies and me when they were born and bathed.”

Stiles nodded, “yeah, sounds like her.” She looked up at Scott, “wanna go get some ice chips or something?” He frowned and nodded, and she smiled, mouthing thanks.

“Why did he have to leave? What have you got to tell me?”

She looked at Allison who had a knowing smirk and Stiles laughed, feeling herself blush, “excuse me, I just wanted to spend some quality time,” Allison squeezed her hand as a contraction hit, “with the bloody woman who is breaking my hand, god have you been working out for this?”

Allison laughed, “shut up Stiles.”

“No, I think you are going to break my fingers, how will I hold my child then?”

“Children, you have to keep them both, because they obviously hate me if it hurts this much.”

“Or, and this is just a thought, maybe this is just what giving birth feels like?”

“Ha ha, when you are in this bed giving birth, I will remind you of that.”

“I will write it down for you.” Allison laughed again, and Stiles smiled. “Now shut up and listen to me, you giver of life you.” Allison raised her eyebrows at Stiles, and Stiles took the moment to grab a wet washcloth and dab Alli’s brow, “so I met with Lydia earlier. I needed advise on girly stuff, and you have selfishly been on bedrest-“

“How rude of me,” she added quickly.

“I know right?” Stiles giggled, “so glad you realize how selfish you have been. Anyway, so Derek and I bought a bed for his house today,” Alli wiggled her eyebrows and Stiles copied the action, leaving them both laughing, “and I bought something little and lacy to wear.”

Allison squealed, which turned into a groan. Stiles wiped her brow through the contraction, her hand still tightly in Alli’s, and whispered words of encouragement until she breathed deep and relaxed back on the bed.

“So, tell me, why are you doing this all natural? If its twins, shouldn’t you be having a c-section or something?”

She shook her head, “the doctor thinks it will be fine, the babies are both in the best position, so only if I need a caesarean will I have one. I’ve been in labour since this morning, but now tell me about this lingerie you bought!”

Stiles wiggled her fingers to shush her as Scott came back in, with a cup of ice. He was followed by the nurse who had stopped Stiles earlier, and she looked pissed. Allison and Stiles shared a laugh as they saw Scott’s terrified expression, and he sat on the spare chair, passing the cup to Stiles, who fished out a piece of ice and offered it to Alli, who grabbed it.

“Having trouble with the nurses, Scott?”

He glared at Stiles, “she hates me, I didn’t even do anything.”

“That’s a lie,” they all looked up to Melissa, who came in with a smile, “hey Allison, how are you doing?”

“I’m fine, why is it a lie? What did he do?”

Melissa laughed, grabbing Scott’s shoulder and Alli’s other hand, “he vomited on her. He had an asthma attack and then emptied his stomach contents on her as she was administering his medication.”

“Nice one Scotty.”

“Shut up Stiles, I was like 7.”

She lifted her hands, “hey, don’t get angry with me, _I_ didn’t vomit on her.”

“Call me, ok? I have to head back.” Mel bent down to kiss Alli’s forehead, and she smiled up at her.

“Sure thing mom.”

“So, how do we know which baby is Nathan and which is Nicholas?”

Allison smiled, and looked over to Scott, “we’ll know.”

“Gosh, I’m glad you aren’t gonna be vague about it.”

Alli giggled, before she squeezed Stiles’ hand again, breathing through the contraction, just as a doctor came in.

“Hi Allison, deep breaths,” he waited until the contraction ended and Allison slumped back onto the bed, “you are doing well, I just want to see how far along you are.” He quickly moved, with a nurse, and Stiles grimaced, locking eyes with Alli.

“So, it's very strange to be looking into your eyes while I know your doctor is, yeah I can’t even say it.”

Allison giggled, and Stiles saw her cheeks turn a little more red, “yeah, maybe a little awkward.”

“Well Allison,” they all looked to the doctor, “you are 9cm dilated. We are going to try to move the labour along, get these little guys out, what do you say?”

Allison nodded, and Stiles watched as she started crying, and shook her head, “no, no I can’t.” The doctor left as Scott and Stiles moved closer.

“Baby, of course you can, you-“

“No Scott, I can keep them safe, once I give birth I can’t,” she sobbed, and Stiles grabbed the washcloth, wetting it again before giving it to Allison who wiped her face.

“Of course you can Alli, and you have all of us to help keep these little guys safe, I promise.” Stiles smoothed Alli’s hair, and she looked up, squeezing her hand.

“Stiles, I, we,” she looked at Scott, who smiled, so she looked back up to Stiles, “we want you to be their godparent.”

“That is a terrible idea,” she laughed, smiling, “I love it.”

“You can’t teach them sarcasm though.”

She looked up at Scott with a serious expression, “so you don’t want me to ever talk to them?”

Allison burst into laughter, the tears falling from her eyes, “and you can’t teach them how to play Lacrosse.”

“Jesus, what the hell will I do with them?”

Allison laughed again, before another contraction hit and the doctor was back, “ok Allison, I want you to bear down, if you and Scott could please help her bend her knees,” he spoke to Stiles and she immediately grabbed Allison’s leg where the nurse was holding, then grabbing Allison’s hand again.

“You can do this. If I can be a woman, you can give birth to these two beautiful babies.”

“You haven’t even seen them,” Alli groaned through a push.

“Yeah, I suppose you are right. Both you and Scott look like the back ends of goats.”

Allison laughed, smiling through the contraction, and suddenly a loud wail rang through the room. Shivers ran down Stiles’ spine as she looked over to the doctor, who handed a baby to the nurse. She looked back at Allison and started laughing, tears in her eyes, “well done Alli.”

The nurse came over and showed Alli the first boy, and Allison cried, letting go of Scott and Stiles’ hands to hold the little bundle, pressing kisses to his scrunched up face. The nurse took the baby when another contraction hit, and Stiles and Scott went back to their positions, holding a leg and a hand.

“Alight Allison, one more push, and we should get to meet baby number two.”

She nodded, breathing heavily as she pushed, and Stiles smiled, making eye contact with Scott, who had very wet eyes. Allison cried out, and her second son was born. The room was silent, and they all looked over to the nurse who had the baby. She had her back to them, and the doctor soon joined. Stiles let go of Alli’s leg and grabbed her shoulder. She saw Scott crouch next to Alli’ head, and they both looked over to him, worry in their eyes.

“Stop worrying, I can hear his heart. He’s just a quiet baby," he whispered so only they would hear. 

Allison began crying, followed shortly by the baby, and Stiles took a shaky breath, deciding there and then that this was the most stressful thing she had ever been involved in. She moved back as the nurses brought both babies back, and set them on Alli’s chest, skin to skin. Stiles wiped the tears from her eyes and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked to see the nurse holding out a wad of tissues for her and she laughed, “thanks,” she took them and wiped her eyes, looking back at Scott and Allison who were both crying, their heads together as they looked at their sons.

“So, who’s who?” Stiles tried to joke through her tears, but they both knew how emotional she was.

Allison reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer, “this is Nathan,” she whispered, kissing the head of the smaller of the boys, the firstborn. “This is Nicholas.” She kissed him, and they all smiled when he nuzzled against her.

Stiles looked around, and saw the nurses and doctor were all preoccupied, before looking back at Scott, “are they were’s?”

He nodded, sharing a look with Allison, who smiled, “they are.”

Stiles smiled and moved back as the nurses came to grab the babies.

“Allison, we just need you to deliver the second placenta, and I’ll leave you alone.”

Alli smiled and followed his directions when he said to push, and soon the doctor and one nurse left, leaving the babies in one crib next to the bed. Stiles grabbed her phone and snapped a picture of them holding onto each other, sending it straight to Allison’s phone. She turned and saw Allison had fallen asleep, and Scott had pretty much passed out with his head on her bed. She went to wash her hands, before she stood over the babies, gently touching their tiny fingers and toes.

A nurse came back, and smiled at her, “are you Allison’s sister?”

She nodded her head, “we might as well be,” she looked back to the sleeping pair, just as one of the boys started to cry. She watched as the nurse plucked him from the crib and nodded for Stiles to take a seat in the chair. As she sat, the nurse gently lowered the baby into her arms, and Stiles swallowed nervously.

“Don’t worry, babies are resilient. Just support his head, I’ll go grab him a bottle while his mommy is sleeping.” The nurse left then, and Stiles couldn’t drag her eyes from the now quiet boy. His baby blue eyes scanned the room, and his tiny hands flexed in the air until she gave him her finger, and he grabbed on so tightly it surprised her. She settled back, pulling him closer, and with the arm that cradled him, she touched his hair.

“Knock knock.” She looked up as she heard the whisper, and smiled as Derek came in, “I know they are sleeping, I wanted to see how you are doing.”

She smiled down at Nathan, looking at his long lashes and his little nose and lips before she looked up at Derek, fresh tears welling in her eyes, “I changed my mind, I’ve made my decision.”


	31. Chapter 31

Allison was released 5 days later, and Stiles spent almost as much time in the hospital as Scott, which made Allison laugh.

“I can’t believe you stayed there longer than you had to.”

“I kind of fell in love with these two,” she looked down at the two babies in the car seats, and Allison giggled.

“So which one is yours?”

Stiles looked up and shook her head, “I think I might need to reassess my custody agreements because I can’t choose.”

They both laughed and looked down at the babies.

“Thanks for dropping me off, Scott.”

“Of course, thanks for all your help this weekend.”

She nodded, “just call me when you need to come over, ok?” Allison nodded, and Stiles leaned over to hug them both, before getting out the car close to the Preserve. She waved as they drove off, and she set off up the driveway, smiling when she saw the Jeep and the Camaro parked outside. It wasn’t long before the door swung open and Derek stepped out, his brows lowered.

“Why didn’t you call me to fetch you?”

She shrugged, going up the stairs to hug him, “wanted to spend the extra time with them all.”

“Where did they drop you off?”

“By the driveway, I didn’t want them to drive up and wake the boys on the bumpy road.”

He shook his head, smiling, and motioned for her to come inside. She had only come back to sleep each night, and then Derek dropped her off early every morning, so she hadn’t had a chance to look around.

“You moved the fridge to the kitchen,” she giggled, opening it up to see it was still mostly full. “Didn’t you eat?”

He shook his head, shrugging, “only when I fetched you.”

“Then you bought take out, how are _you_ ok with eating junk food 3 nights in a row?”

He laughed, “you know me well. I need real food, I’m gonna make salmon salad for dinner.”

“Mmm, that sounds so good.” He grabbed her hand and led her up the stairs. “Why are the stairs so plain?”

He stopped for a second, looking down, “if I damage them, I want to do it while I can still fix them. Don’t want to damage the good wood.”

“Oh right. Smart.” She nodded, and smiled as they reached the top of the stairs, “you started the 3rd floor?”

He nodded, looking up, “the slab was laid yesterday, I worked all weekend to get these walls up,” he pointed to the interior walls, and she smiled, going into one of the rooms. “This will be a guest room, and the bathroom is through there.”

She smiled, and wrapped her arms around his neck, “why do I get the feeling that you worked the whole time I was gone?”

He shrugged, “I slept with you. Didn’t work then.”

“Mmm,” she kissed him quickly, laying her head on his chest.

“I missed you.”

She looked up to him, and frowned when she saw his jaw was clenched, “what’s wrong?”

He shook his head, “nothing.”

“Derek, I know something is wrong.”

He pulled away from her and sat with his back to a wall, where she joined him. He grabbed her hand and looked at her with so much hidden meaning.

“What is it? You’re scaring me.”

“I don’t want to scare you, I’m sorry. The day, the first time I saw you with the babies,” he licked his bottom lip, staring at her, “you said you made your decision.”

She smiled, raising her other hand to his bearded cheek, “and that worries you?”

He shrugged, “not worried, so much as, I don’t know, confused? Your emotions were all over the place, I don’t even know, I don’t even have the slightest inclination of what your choice is.”

She frowned, “I thought you said you didn’t mind what my decision was.”

“I don’t, of course not, but,” he looked away until she pushed against his cheek to turn his head.

“Talk to me, Derek, what do you mean?”

He shook his head, “all weekend, you have been so distant, wanting to be there, I, have you changed your mind about me? About this?” He waved a hand around the room.

“No, Derek no, why would you even think that?” She got up quickly, and ran down the stairs, grabbing her bag. She turned to go back up when she saw Derek halfway down the stairs.

“Are you leaving?”

“No, stop it.” She walked up to him, rummaging through her bag as she held his gaze before she pulled out a small set of keys, handing them to him.

“Are you giving me the key back?”

She fought the urge to hit him with her bag, and shook her head, “just look at the keys, please.”

He stared at her for a moment more, before he looked down at the keys. He saw the key to his front door, along with a single unknown key, and a small silver key ring. He looked at the disc, and he huffed out a small laugh.

“Your home is where your heart is.” She said the words without reading the disc, and when he looked up, she felt sad when she saw the tears in his eyes. She moved closer and hugged him, before he sat suddenly, pulling her down too.

“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, his fingers in her hair, holding her head close to him.

“I don’t understand why you thought that when I said I made my decision.”

He pulled away, searching her face. “I saw my key was missing, when you asked me to look in your bag. I saw your old house keys, I saw you put your key on that bunch, and then when I saw it was missing, I don’t know, I thought the worst.”

She ran her hand down his cheek, pressing her forehead to his. “Well, to clarify, I meant I know that I want to stay a woman.”

He looked up, his lips apart slightly, “that’s what you meant? You want to stay like this?” She nodded. “But, how can you know? You haven’t experienced more, what if-“

“Derek, one day I want to hold _our_ baby.” He shut his mouth and she heard his teeth clash together. “I want to give birth to our own babies, and now that I’ve said it out loud I realize how presumptuous that sounds, holy-“

He stopped her with a kiss, and dragged her onto his lap, “seriously?” He asked, breaking away to stare at her.

“Yes,” she nodded again, “seeing those little boys, I realized I can’t do that as a man.”

“We could get a surrogate.”

She shook her head, “no. I literally have the opportunity to do it myself, for us. I want that. Jesus I can’t even begin to tell you how much I want that.” She wound her fingers in his hair, taking a deep breath. “I don’t need to have experienced everything to know that this is what I want. I want to stay like this.”

He nodded, a smile breaking on his face, “you want to carry my babies?”

“Yes.” She looked serious, and it made him laugh.

“How many?”

She shrugged, “how many times can you get me pregnant?”

He laughed again, “you might change that answer after your first birth.”

“I don’t know, I counted. You have 6 spare bedrooms. Seems like a waste if we don’t fill them.”

He growled, pulled her head to his, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth. She moaned, and gyrated her hips, groaning as she felt him harden. His hands grabbed at her hips, and pushed up to her, both of them groaning at the increased pressure.

“Wait, Der, wait,” she breathed, and he let her go, pulling away to look at her. “everything’s ok, I just, I kind of had a plan for this.”

He raised his eyebrows, “you had a plan for what?”

“Our first time,” she whispered, and he shook his head, laughing quietly.

“I keep telling you, I only want to have sex when you are ready.”

She smiled, “I know. Why don’t you go make dinner, we can talk about it later? I want to have a shower anyway.”

He nodded, kissing her once as he let her stand up before he went down to the kitchen. She waited until he was gone before she went into the lounge, where their bed was still residing until the 3rd floor was done. She grabbed her silk gown, before she decided against it, and grabbed her winter gown. Then she decided against that. “Shit,” she mouthed to herself before she grabbed her phone and went out the front door, sending Alli a message.

        So, I’m sure as a new mom you have a million more things to do but I need help with my sex life.

She laughed when the phone rang a couple minutes later, and answered, “hey Alli.”

“Oh my god don’t you ‘hey’ me, are you really gonna do it?”

She nodded, biting her lips for a moment, “yeah, but,” she looked back in the kitchen window and could just make out Derek bustling about. She lowered her voice, “so he wants to make sure I’m ready, right, and I decided tonight’s the night, and I have that cute little lacy thing, but what do I do with it?”

She sniggered, “Stiles, you put your body in it, so Derek can take your body out of it.”

“Yeah, thanks, so helpful, but we are gonna eat dinner, I want to shower now. If I wear a silk gown, I think he will know somethings up, and if I wear a winter gown, he will definitely know somethings up.”

Allison’s laughter broke her rant, and she bit her lip to keep from continuing, “Stiles, wear one of his shirts over it. He will get all high on the fact that you are wearing his clothes, and you can say you wanted something comfy to wear if he asks anything.”

“Right. That kind of makes more sense.”

“Aren’t you on your period?”

She laughed, “no, or I wouldn’t be even thinking about this. I started a day early, so I finished like last night.”

“Babe?”

She looked over to Derek by the front door, “gotta go, love you, bye.” She put the phone down and walked over to Derek, “yeah?”

“Everything ok?”

“Yep, just checking in with my dad.” He nodded slowly, and she knew he knew she wasn’t telling the truth. “OK, I was on the phone with Alli.”

He shook his head, “let her rest. She just had two babies.”

“I know, I was there.“ He laughed as he continued to the kitchen, “I’m gonna shower now.”

“Ok, dinner will be about 15 minutes.”

“Ok.” She grabbed her handbag and one of his shirts and darted outside. She loved this outdoor shower Derek had built. She closed the door behind her and put her stuff down on the floor furthest away from the shower before she started up the water and undressed. She smiled as she washed, trying to be quick before she dried off and pulled on the red lace bustier and matching Brazilian panties. She swallowed, looking down at herself, before she grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, and brushed her wet hair.

She walked back into the house and laughed when she smelled the food and her stomach immediate growled.

“I was just about to call-“ he stopped as he looked at her.

“I wanted something comfortable to wear,” she played with the hem, “you don’t mind, do you?”

He shook his head, swallowing.

“Thanks,” she kissed his cheek and walked to the table where he had set the food. “It smells so good Der,” she looked up at him, where he was still standing in the doorway, “what’s wrong?”

He shook his head, looking like he was trying to clear it, “nothing, sorry, I guess I drifted away or seeming.”

“Well, come eat. I slaved over this.”

He laughed at her, “sure, _you_ slaved over this. Right.”

“Yep,” she said as she started eating, nodding, “it’s really good babe.”

He smiled at her and started eating too. She offered to clean up, telling him to go sit on the couch and find them something to watch.

She found herself procrastinating as she cleaned until she shook herself and went to join him in the lounge. She entered, frowning when she saw he wasn’t on the couch.

“Show me what’s under my shirt.”

She looked over to the bed, and saw he was sitting there, staring right at her. She felt a shiver race up her spine, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. She walked closer to him, grabbing the hem of the shirt and pulling it off, letting it drop to the floor, his eyes flashing the same colour as the lace she was wearing.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing a day! I rewrote this scene about eleventeen times, and I'm still not sure it's as sweet and sexy as I wanted? I hope I'm wrong!

He growled, and the sound urged her forward, until she stood before him, his hands reaching out to grasp her hips, pulling her closer until she was standing between his knees.

“What’s this?” His voice was low, and she bit her lip, looking down at him, watching the way his eyes roamed her pale skin. His fingers played with the lace on her hips, and she wound her fingers in his hair.

“Just a little something I bought as a housewarming gift.”

His eyes flashed again, and she drew in a quick breath when his fingers tightened on her hips. “Do I get to unwrap it?”

She giggled, and dropped her hands to his shoulders, and whispered: “go for it.”

He growled again, and she shivered, tensing as his fingers ran up and down her sides, “are you sure?”

She nodded, “yes, I want this Der, I need you. Please,” she whispered the last word, and she saw the moment Derek broke. He grabbed her hips and pulled her forward so she straddled his lap. She immediately began moving her hips forward and backward, groaning as she felt him harden beneath her. “Fuck I need this Der,” she moaned, leaning down to kiss him. He pulled her tighter against him with one hand, his other moving up to wind in her hair, before he pulled away, looking at how she pulled her lip into her mouth, biting harder every time she moved forward. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him down, using the new position to rub herself harder against him, her breathing becoming quicker. He pushed his hips up to her, and grinned when she cried out, “fuck yes, that, do that!” He quickly flipped them, slotting between her thighs and thrust against her several more times, watching the way she closed her eyes, her lips parted.

He kneeled above her, pulling his body from hers, smiling when she opened her eyes, about to complain about the suddenly missing contact when he nuzzled her neck, kissing and licking down the sensitive skin before he found the spot that made her tremble. He sucked the skin, proud of the mark he would leave for the world to see, before he moved down, kissing the exposed tops of her boobs, slowly pulling the lace cups down one at a time, sucking each nipple into his mouth. He smiled against her when she wound her fingers in his hair, her other hand gripping the duvet cover.

He grabbed her waist and slid an arm under her, using his other arm to reach behind her and unclasped the bustier, growling in frustration when he realized it had more than 2 hook and eye clips. She giggled, “need help?” He shook his head, showing her a clawed finger as her eyes went wide, and she shook her head, “oh hell no, I like this, I want to wear it again!” She threw her hands under her back and undid the last clips, raising her eyebrow at him when he laughed.

He pulled her hand free when he saw the lace move around her sides, and he held them above her head with one hand, using his other to slowly pull the bustier off, releasing her hands momentarily to pull it off, his eyes devouring the creamy dotted skin beneath him. He held her hands tightly again, using his other to trace down from her neck, over her right nipple. She shuddered, arching her back into his fingers, but he pulled away, waiting until she settled back to resume his movements. He made his way down her belly, smirking as she tensed and giggled, her wide eyes trained on his face.

“So, what happens if I stopped now?” He asked quietly, his fingers playing with the edge of her panties.

“I, I,” she swallowed, shaking her head slightly, “I’ll, I don’t know, please just move,” she moaned, and thrust her hips up, desperate for him to continue.

He smirked again, dipping a finger into the thin waistband before he pulled it out, and traveled up her body again, flicking her nipple as he passed. She moaned, throwing her head back with a small smile, and he moved his fingers down, passing between her boobs and over the center of her panties, growling when she whined at the light contact over her clit. He moved his finger to the crook of her groin, and pressed his finger beneath the fabric, gently swiping the pad of his finger along her lip, looking up at her as she moaned, wriggling her hips as if she could dislodge his finger and get it where she needed. “Nah uh baby, I’m gonna make sure you enjoy this, I’m not rushing.” He bent over her, licking at her nipple as his fingers continued to move up and down the crease of her leg, her hips trembling as she tried to keep still.

“Der, please,” she whined, her eyes wild as she looked up at him, trying to get her hands free. He sat up, and removed his shirt quickly, throwing it to the side as he leaned over her. Her fingers immediately went to his skin, tracing his skin from his waistband to his pecs, running her nails gently across his nipples, smiling when he shut his eyes and growled low in his chest. She moved a leg to wrap around him and pulled him down again, biting her lip when he moved against his hips against her, eliciting a loud moan from her.

He pulled away again, and Stiles laughed, “are you kidding me?” She looked between her panties and his pants, before raising an eyebrow to look at him.

He winked, grabbing her panties and ran his fingers in the waistband, further than before, and she moaned, clenching her jaw as she tried moving her hips to get his fingers to her wet folds. She knew enough about her body, now, to know just how wet she was, and she was desperate for him to feel what he was doing to her. “Would you rather I rub up against you all night, or would you like me to take these off?”

She pulled her lip into her mouth, nodding.

Smirking, he bent down, kissing from her belly, down her hips, and slowly began removing the red lace, kissing the skin as he exposed it. She whined, breathing hard, unable to drag her eyes from his as he made his way down the bed and settled between her legs. Just as he was about to uncover her completely, he looked up, stopping his movements, “is this ok?”

She nodded, grabbing his hands and pushing them down, her panties going down with them. She whined again, the sudden feeling of being entirely exposed to him was incredibly arousing, and she shifted, lifting her knees and spreading her legs, giggling when he grabbed one of her legs and put it over his shoulder. He looked up again at her as if to give her another opportunity to change her mind before he licked a strip over her clit, and she almost screamed from the contact, “fuck, Derek, please, I-“

Her words lodged in her throat as he licked her again, and she moaned, her belly tightening as she angled her hips up, desperate for more. He moved slightly, never taking his tongue and lips off her, and slowly slid a finger into her. Her whine spurred him on, and her fingers gripped the sheets beneath her. He felt as her thighs started trembling, and slid in a second finger, never stopping the quick movements of his tongue until she cried out, throwing her head back as her orgasm shot through her body.

Derek slowed, listening to her heart beating like a hummingbirds’ before it slowed, and her breathing returned to normal. He trailed his fingers up and down her thighs as she came down, and she smiled when she could finally breathe, looking down at him with mischievous eyes.

“I feel like you need more practice at that, Der.”

He laughed, resting his head on her inner thigh, before he looked up, his eyes gleaming, “is that so?”

She nodded, “yeah, that was so-so,” she held her hand up and rocked it from left to right a couple times, making Derek laugh again.

“I’d hate it if that were the case,” he whispered before his tongue shot out, pushing against her clit, smiling at her gasp. “Still think I need practice?”

She nodded again, “lots.”

He slowly moved up her body, looming over her with red eyes. She reached out, running her hands down his cheeks, staring into his eyes. “Think you are so scary,” she whispered, leaning up, almost touching her lips to his, “but you don’t scare me.”

He growled, moving down to capture her lips, his tongue dominating hers. She moaned, and he pressed his jean-clad hips against her, and she broke the kiss, staring up at him, “you should take your pants off.” He smirked, and reached one hand down, unzipping his pants and pushing them down, and she smiled when they ended up on the floor.  “See, so much better,” she said, one of her hand snaking down his abs. He grabbed the offending hand and pulled it above her head again, but she smirked and hiked up her hips to rub against him and groaned, her head thrown back.

“Last chance to back out,” he murmured against her neck and she shook her head vigorously.

“No, that’s not gonna happen. Please, I need this.”

He pulled back to look at her, and nodded, before he reached for his jeans, pulling out a condom and rolling it on.

She swallowed, scooting down the bed to get closer to him, and he moved above her again, one hand on her hip, stilling her nervous energy.

“I’ll go slow.”

She nodded, and canted her hips up, smiling when he rutted against her. He released her hip, and grabbed his cock, rubbing the tip against her clit to hear her moan before he moved lower, lining up and slowly entered her.

She gasped, lifting her head to touch her forehead on his shoulder. He stopped his movements, but she moved up to meet him, her breath hitching when he was fully seated in her.

“Fuck yes, you have to move, please,” she moaned out, her legs shaking.

He lifted himself off of her, steadying himself on his hands so he could look down at her body. He pressed a kiss to her lips as he pulled out, feeling her tense and pant. “it’s ok, it’s ok,” he mumbled against her lips, letting her relax until he picked up momentum. Her fingers gripped into his biceps, and he soon resumed his movements, and her discomfort gave way to intense pleasure. Her lips latched onto his neck, pulling away from his skin often when she moaned, and she felt herself tightening up. She wrapped her arms around his neck, desperate for him to be even closer, feeling the pressure build and build until it exploded within her, and she cried out, burying her face in his shoulder as he fucked her through her orgasm. He found his release soon after, stilling against her plaint body as he came, finally feeling like he was home.

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! This work is finished! I will be writing more, make this a series, but no word yet on when; I'm busy prepping for NaNo! So keep your eyes peeled! Hope you enjoy!

When she woke the next morning, the smiled into her pillow, her muscles aching a little and she giggled, the sound stifled by the pillow. She snaked her hand across the bed, feeling for Derek, and looked up when she felt the bed was cold.

“Der?” She got up and grabbed his shirt to cover her nakedness before she sauntered out to the kitchen, and the outside when she didn’t see him. She stood on the porch and watched him where he was working, a million wood shavings surrounding him. He didn’t look up at her, and she watched the way his arm muscles bunched and flexed as he carved the banister in his hand. She wolf-whistled at him and smirked when he looked up at her. “Hey handsome,” she said quietly, knowing he’d hear her. He motioned with his head for her to come closer, which she happily did, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she was very happy that he didn’t have any neighbors. She had a feeling walking around in an oversized shirt would be classed as inappropriate by some, not that she cared much. Or at all.

He dusted his hands off and stood, causing a cascade of the shavings to flutter into the air before the settled onto the grass. He reached for her, and pulled her close, giving her no warning before his lips were on hers. She moaned, her fingers finding his hair as his arms pressed her close to him. “Good morning,” he mumbled when he could finally bear to pull away from her, and she smiled up at him shyly. “I didn’t mean to not be there when you woke up, I thought I’d come wake you with coffee in a bit.”

She laughed, and placed her hands on his pecs, “coffee would have been an amazing way to wake up,” she nodded, “but I think pancakes sound even better right now, I’m kinda starving.”

He laughed, and ducked his head a little before he looked back at her, “put it down to rigorous activity?”

She nodded, and giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his, “thank you,” she whispered in his ear, smiling when he shrugged slightly. She pulled away to look at him, taking in his questioning expression, “I wouldn’t have changed anything about last night. It was perfect.”

He kissed her, “that makes me happy.”

“So, chocolate chip pancakes?” She laughed at his predictable raised eyebrow, “sure, blueberry it is for Mr. No-Chocolate-Thanks.” She pressed her lips against his once more before she went to the kitchen, throwing the ingredients together quickly and heating up two pans to fry simultaneously when she felt Derek behind her. She turned, biting her lip at how dark his eyes were, feeling his fingers trailing up her thigh under his shirt.

“So, I have a question.”

She nodded, and quickly turned the pancakes, looking back up to him.

“So how do we know that your decision has been, I don’t know, finalized?” He pulled a face at his choice of word and she laughed, shrugging.

“I don’t know, I guess the fact that I’m still a woman is good enough?”

He nodded slowly, “makes sense.”

“Why?”

He shrugged now, “I don’t know, just feel like we missed something? It doesn’t make sense, but I have this _feeling.”_

She smacked his arm lightly, “don’t go jinxing things now Der, or you’ll have me freaking out.”

He reached behind her and grabbed both pans, sliding the pancakes out onto plates while she was still between his arms. “Let’s eat, I’ll make more when we finish these.”

She hummed, and grabbed her pancake, foregoing the plate entirely, shoving it in her mouth while she tried to pretend she wasn’t now fixated on what Derek had said. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, getting her to look up at him.

“Stop stressing.”

“I’m not.”

He tapped his nose, “I know you are.”

She rolled her eyes, sighing deeply. “You started it,” she grumbled, finishing off her pancake by biting it viciously as if she could take some of her frustrations out by chewing aggressively. He grabbed her hand when they were done and led her outside.

“What are we doing?”

He looked down at her as he turned the corner and opened up the door to the shower room. She lifted her eyebrow as he started the water and peeled his shirt off.

“What’s this?”

He shrugged, moving closer to her as he grabbed the hem of the shirt and slowly pulled it up, throwing it to the floor. His eyes roamed her body, a quiet rumbling emanating from his chest. She moved to grab his pants, unzipping them and shoving them down, smiling when he pulled her against him and stepped out of the pants, pulling her under the spray.

“I think you need a distraction.”

She laughed, her head thrown back, “all you had to do was take your shirt off and I’d be happily distracted. Better yet, go back to hand carving, without your shirt, and I’ll just watch.”

He smirked and thrust his hips against her, and she gasped at the feeling of his hard dick slipping between her legs. Gripping onto his shoulders, she smiled when he bent to press a scorching kiss to her lips. She hiked one leg up his hips, laughing when he grabbed her thighs and pulled her up, pressing her back against the shower wall.

She shivered as his lips latched onto her neck, and pulled back to look down at him, waiting until he looked up to her, her brow pinched. She rubbed her finger down the middle of his eyebrows, smoothing the skin, before she pulled her hand away, touching his face. “I’m glad things worked out like this.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged, her fingers winding in his hair, “with you, I’ll never change my mind about that.”

He looked at her for a moment, before he opened his mouth, closing it quickly.

“What?”

He regarded her for a moment before he reached a hand up to her hair, smoothing it. “So, you are moving in, right?” She nodded, laughing quietly, “and you know you want to be a woman?”

“Yes, of course.”

“So you can have a baby, right?”

She nodded slowly, her mouth curling in a smile.

“So what’s stopping us?”

She stared into his eyes, trying to find any flicker of hesitation, and smiled when she found none. “Really?”

He nodded, his fingers still in her hair, “yes, let’s have a baby.” She laughed, pressing kisses to his face as he chuckled, “is that a yes?”

She pulled away, her eyes gleaming, “let’s make a baby, Der.”


End file.
